


the heart is hard to translate

by othiara



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Harry Potter Setting, Alternate Universe - Hogwarts, F/F, F/M, HP AU, Harry Potter AU, Hogwarts AU, Minor Character Death
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-16
Updated: 2016-12-17
Packaged: 2018-06-08 17:44:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 44,162
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6866644
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/othiara/pseuds/othiara
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Clarke takes another step closer. Lexa is perilously close to being backed into a table. She doesn't know what game Clarke is playing here. "I'll do anything you need me to." Those words sound different in her husky voice, and Lexa's breathing quickens. "We both want the same thing. I know you're not going to turn me down."</p><p>Lexa takes a deep breath. She is stronger than this. Her heart is guarded against all weakness, especially Clarke Griffin.</p><p>or</p><p>A Hogwarts AU full of political intrigue, plot, and romance.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. year one

**Author's Note:**

> the plan is for this to have 7 main chapters, each centering around a year at hogwarts, plus an interlude or two taking place during the summer.
> 
> the title is a lyric from "all this and heaven too" by florence + the machine
> 
> enjoy!

The Griffins and Jahas arrive together and early to Platform 9 ¾ to catch the train. Clarke nearly bounces with excitement. Soon she's going to be at Hogwarts. She's been waiting for this day for years now. It's so exciting here.

 

She grins at Wells. He smiles back, but it doesn't quite reach his eyes. Clarke knows he's nervous to be leaving his dad for so long, but he'll get over it once they get there.

 

Clarke's dad wraps her up in a hug. "You have fun, okay? You're going to learn a lot and make so many new friends, I just know it." He smiles at her. "I'm going to miss you a lot, kiddo."

 

Clarke smiles back. "I'm going to miss you, too."

 

Her mom walks up now and wraps her in another hug. "Promise me you'll be good? Stay safe. I don't want you doing any reckless magic."

 

Clarke squirms. "Yeah, Mom, I promise."

 

Abby smiles, satisfied. "Good. We're going to miss you. We love you so much."

 

"I know," Clarke says, glancing back at the train. It might sound mean, but she's ready for this part to be over with so she can get to Hogwarts. "I mean, I love you, too. Bye," she corrects.

 

Her parents share an amused look. "Go ahead," her dad says.

 

Clarke grins and takes her bags, nearly dragging Wells after her. "Come on, we have to get a good compartment."

 

.:.

 

Lexa is more than ready to get off the train by the time it finally comes to a stop. The scenery is beautiful, of course, but the company is lacking. She had arrived so late she almost missed the train, so her only choice of seat was in an already crowded compartment. She dislikes the persistent chatter these people have somehow managed to keep up for the full 12 hour train ride.

 

When she does step out, the sight is hauntingly beautiful. A large lake ripples out almost to the edge of her vision. Behind that is the sight she has truly been waiting for, Hogwarts castle. It exceeds her every expectation. It is a beautiful piece of old architecture with towering heights and old stones that should be crumbling but aren't. It is lovelier than any building she’s seen in her home of London.

 

Lexa loves it here. She knows that immediately. She loves it better than any foster home she's ever been in. Maybe she could just stay here forever so that she never has to go to another one.

 

The tour eventually guides them to a large room with four long tables that stretch all the way down to another table, where the professors sit. Most of the tables seem to already be filled with older students.

 

Lexa was unsure what they meant by "sorting," but the hat's song does some good in clearing that up. She is unsure which one best suits her, but she supposes that is the hat's decision, not hers.

 

A professor up at the front begins calling names. Lexa hasn’t seen her before. She looks intimidating but not unkind. A tattoo traces around her eye on one side of her face. Lexa watches the people carefully, taking note of who gets into what house. It may be useful information for later.

 

"Clarke Griffin," the professor calls. A pretty blonde girl hops up to the hat, not looking at all nervous. The hat is barely on her head for a second before it calls out, "Slytherin!" Lexa watches as Clarke jumps up happily and runs over to the Slytherin table, where she is given a warm welcome.

 

Each table gives its own sort of welcome, Lexa notes as a Wells Jaha is sorted into Hufflepuff. Gryffindor's cheers are the loudest, closely followed by Slytherin's. Hufflepuff seems the most genuinely happy when a new person is sent their way.

 

The ceremony goes on for quite a while before Lexa's name is called, since she's toward the end of the alphabet. Eventually, the summoning comes. "Lexa Woods," the professor calls.

 

Lexa steps up quietly to the front. The professor puts the hat on her head. It sits there for a long time, and Lexa hears something like muttered whispers in her head, seemingly coming from the hat.

 

People are watching her curiously. Lexa feels horribly awkward sitting here in front of them like this. No one else's sorting has taken quite this long, though there was one boy, Monty Green, Ravenclaw, who is almost in contest.

 

Finally, the hat calls out, "Slytherin!"

 

Lexa slips away from the front gratefully. There are loud cheers. A group of kids waves her over, and she takes the empty seat they're gesturing toward gratefully.

 

Headmaster Kane gives a speech after that, but it's brief because everyone is hungry and tired. Lexa moves onto eating after that. There seems to be no end to the food on the table. It's just another amazing thing to add to the list.

 

The boy sitting to Lexa's left introduces himself. "I'm John Murphy."

 

Lexa nods respectfully. "Lexa Woods."

 

"You know, I don't think I've heard of your parents," he says.

 

Lexa stiffens. "I never met them."

 

He smirks. "Wait, so, like, they're muggles?"

 

Lexa frowns. "What's a 'muggle'?" He snickers. Lexa looks around to see if she's going to get an answer to her question. Most of the people are avoiding her eyes. "What?" she snaps. "What is it?" She's used to mean teasing from a few of her foster homes, but she had hoped she could escape that here.

 

She had even been stupid enough to hope she would be able to make a few friends here. No one else says more than a few words to her the whole meal.

 

.:.

 

The first morning of classes, Clarke meets Wells in the Great Hall. She likes Slytherin and most of her classmates, but she wishes Wells could be here with her. It's obvious to her that Hufflepuff is where he belongs, though. She wonders how she didn't guess this before. Of course they would be separated.

 

It doesn't have to mean anything for their friendship, though. Clarke won't ever stop being best friends with Wells. So she plops down next to him at the Hufflepuff table.

 

He stares at her. "This isn't where you're supposed to sit, Clarke."

 

Clarke frowns. Maybe she had made a miscalculation. She can feel more than a few eyes on her, so she decides to make this quick. "I know that. I was just wondering if you wanted to play chess with me after classes."

 

He smiles and nods quickly. "Yeah, that sounds great. I'll find you."

 

Good. At least that hadn't changed. She won't let their friendship change because of this, Clarke decides, even if she has to fight every step of the way.

 

.:.

 

A Slytherin boy trips Lexa as she walks past him down the hallway. She wasn't expecting it, so she topples easily. He chuckles, then continues on his way.

 

Lexa's eyes fill with tears, but she stubbornly refuses to let them fall. She can make it here. She _will._

 

A Gryffindor girl is suddenly next to her and helping her pick up her stuff. "Here," she says handing Lexa a book.

 

Lexa sniffles. "Thank you."

 

"They're just assholes. You got a raw deal, getting sorted in Slytherin," the girl comments.

 

Lexa frowns. "Aren't the other houses like this?"

 

"Slytherin has always treated muggleborns the worst. I mean, I assume you're muggleborn."

 

"What does muggleborn mean?" Lexa asks. Maybe she's finally found someone nice enough to tell her.

 

"Your parents aren't magic. Some people are elitist assholes who think that first generation witches are less worthy or something. It's total bullshit."

 

Lexa nods slowly. "I never met my parents. I guess they're probably muggles," she says, trying out the word.

 

"Nothing wrong with that. So are mine." She holds out a hand. Lexa shakes it. "Anya Pine."

 

"Lexa Woods. You're the first nice person I've found here."

 

Anya grins toothily. "You only think I'm nice because you haven't gotten to know me yet."

 

Lexa shrugs and smiles. "Maybe. But I'd like to."

 

.:.

 

Slytherin and Ravenclaw have Defense Against the Dark Arts together. It's one of the most competitive classes Clarke has. Slytherins tend to make anything into a competition, and Ravenclaws almost always seem ready to accept the challenge.

 

Slytherin almost always wins. Ravenclaws might actually read the book, but that doesn't quite reach the Slytherins' drive for success and general high magical talent. Plus, they have Clarke.

 

It takes Clarke less than a week to decide that Defense Against the Dark Arts is her subject. Her mom was pushing her toward potions, but Clarke can never seem to quite get that right. This type of magic comes naturally for her. She doesn't much like the professor, but the material itself is fun enough to keep her going.

 

Clarke hears a curse coming from behind her. It's quiet enough that Professor Pike doesn't hear. Clarke turns around and sees a pair of Ravenclaws, both looking upset. They were supposed to be practicing a simple hex, but it seems like that's gone wrong here somehow.

 

The boy Ravenclaw's head keeps growing. It's gone past comical and reached alarming. Clarke looks between the two of them. At that moment, Professor Pike seems to take notice of their predicament.

 

"Really, Reyes? This was not part of the spell you were instructed to practice."

 

The girl grows fierce at that. "Wow, I guess you're right. But no worries, I'm sure it's not due to your stellar teaching abilities."

 

The class goes silent, waiting for him to respond. He clenches his jaw and doesn't say anything for a second. Then, he says, voice cold, "Miss Reyes, take Mr. Green to the infirmary. Then come see me after class for a talk."

 

The girl looks afraid, but she doesn't say anything but, "I don't know the way."

 

Before he can reply, Clarke says, "I'll show her."

 

He scrutinizes her, then says, "Fine. Go."

 

The boy looks kind of like a bobblehead at this point. He also looks like he might be sick. Clarke and the girl help him out of the classroom.

 

They walk in silence for a while, before the girl says, "Thanks for showing me the way. I really hate Pike."

 

"No problem. He's really awful. And he was way too harsh on you back there."

 

She smiles weakly. "Yeah, he doesn't like me for some reason. I honestly don't know. I'm Raven, by the way."

 

"Clarke."

 

The boy still looks like he might be ill, and his head, which is still steadily gaining mass, is starting to be too much for his body. "I'm Monty," he croaks, looking like the effort takes something out of him.

 

They arrive at the infirmary. Raven and Clarke gladly hand Monty on to Jackson. "I could help you with the spell if you want," Clarke offers as they begin the walk back.

 

"Seriously?" Clarke nods. "Oh my god, thank you. Honestly, I'm the best in most of my classes, but Pike honestly doesn't know how to teach for shit. Can you meet me in the Ravenclaw common room tonight at 8?"

 

"Sure."

 

"Great!" Raven looks significantly less put out now. Clarke is glad.

 

.:.

 

The strangest class in this school is quite possibly the class they consider to be physical education. Broom flying hardly requires much exercise, and in fact, it seems mightily impractical if alternatives exist. To each their own, she supposes.

 

Gryffindor and Slytherin are put together for this class, which is unfortunate. The only Gryffindor she can seem to tolerate for extended periods of time is Anya. The worst among these Gryffindors is most likely Jasper Jordan, who is loud and brash and reckless and seems to take an interest to every girl in the class at some point, which Lexa can tell because he's not particularly subtle about it.

 

Lexa is nowhere near a natural at this. The broom doesn't seem to want to come up for her, and the most she can get it to do is wiggle a bit. The girl next to her, on the other hand, a pretty, blonde Slytherin, seems to be quite a natural.

 

"How do you do that?" Lexa asks after she completes the task perfectly for the fifth time in a row.

 

The girl shrugs. "I don't know. You just do."

 

Lexa rolls her eyes. "How helpful."

 

"You have to feel it. Make it natural. Don't make it come to you. Let it come to you."

 

Lexa tries again, and this time the broom gets to nearly a foot off the ground before it drops.

 

.:.

 

It's difficult to research things in the wizarding world. Instead of just spending a few minutes on a computer, she has to actually go to the library and check out books. It's odd that a magical society would be so far behind one without magic.

 

Lexa needs books about the Ministry. Anya stands to the side, looking puzzled at the tall stack of books Lexa is carefully balancing in her arms. "Why weren't you put in Ravenclaw?" she mutters.

 

"I think it's about why you do the research," Lexa answers, deciding to ignore the sarcasm in Anya's tone. "I want to learn more about the Ministry of Magic because I want to be able to exercise any power I may have in this government to its full potential."

 

Anya rolls her eyes. "Okay, yeah, I definitely see the Slytherin."

 

Lexa sits down at a table, putting the stack of books in front of her. Anya just barely stops the pile from collapsing. "So what's up with this sudden fascination with politics?"

 

"It's not sudden. I've always been interested in politics. I didn't know about the Ministry until recently."

 

Anya doesn't seem to quite believe her answer, but she lets it drop. Lexa is glad. In truth, she doesn't really know why she feels like she needs to be more informed on this. She supposes she just doesn't want the purebloods to have power over her because of what she doesn't know.

 

"This isn't what you want to know about the Ministry," Anya says. Lexa looks up from her book. "This is history. It doesn't affect you. You want to know about the current people in power."

 

"Yes," Lexa admits. "That would be more useful. Where can I find such information?"

 

Anya chuckles. "You ask around. Maybe it would help if you had more than one friend."

 

Lexa flinches and looks at the ground.

 

"Shit," Anya mutters. "That's not what I meant. I just mean you should talk to more people, ask around. What are you going to do when I graduate?"

 

Lexa hadn't thought about that. Anya doesn't look old, but perhaps her looks are deceptive. "How old are you?"

 

"I'm just a third year, but that's not the point. You need more friends."

 

Lexa nods slowly. "I know. It's just hard in my house."

 

"Not everyone's an asshole. You have to keep trying. And no worries, I'm not going anywhere. Now what do you want to know about the Ministry?"

 

.:.

 

Clarke bites her lip as she contemplates her next move. Wells is across from her, smiling because he knows he's winning. Clarke's fine with it. This is his game, his special skill. Clarke's more or less content with only beating him 10% of the time.

 

The only thing that's different from their normal chess nights is that Raven and Monty are sitting next to them, chatting with them and each other. They've become something of a constant in Clarke's life ever since she helped them with that spell in Defense Against the Dark Arts. Clarke is glad that Wells and her new friends get along. She doesn't know what she would have done if they hadn't.

 

"Are you guys going home for Christmas?" Raven asks.

 

"Yeah," Clarke says. As much as she's loved it here, she's missed her parents, and she knows they've missed her too. They've written, but it isn't the same.

 

Wells and Monty both say "yes,” too. Raven looks bummed. "Damn. Guess I'm gonna be here all alone."

 

Wells frowns. "Don't you have anywhere to go?"

 

She shrugs. "I don't want to go back to my mom's until I have to."

 

"No worries. There are always people that stay for Christmas. You won't be alone. Maybe you can celebrate with us next year."

 

Raven nods, but she looks disappointed.

 

.:.

 

There are few enough of them still there for Christmas that the table rules are no longer enforced. Lexa is glad. It would get boring to sit at an almost entirely empty table. Besides, she intends to try to take Anya's advice and make new friends.

 

She sits across from a Ravenclaw first year she doesn't know. "Hi."

 

The girl looks up. "Hey." The silence stretches after that. Lexa hates this. Why is making friends so hard? Eventually, the girl asks, "So what brings you to the castle on Christmas Eve?"

 

Lexa shrugs. "My foster family is just as happy if I don't come back until I have to. Plus, the food's better here."

 

The girl snorts. "I just don't want to see my mom. She's kind of awful." She pauses, then adds, "I'm Raven, by the way."

 

Lexa smiles. "Lexa."

 

.:.

 

Clarke may have been looking forward to coming back to Hogwarts all through Christmas break, but it definitely wasn't the classes she was looking forward to. Potions especially is an ordeal. Professor Nia Ice is definitely one of the meanest of their teachers, only possibly surpassed by Pike.

 

Potions is her mom's favorite subject, but it definitely isn't Clarke's. The only good thing about it is that Ravenclaw and Slytherin share the class, so Clarke gets to see Raven and Monty. They're generally the ones to help her when she inevitably messes up her potion.

 

Well, there is one other good thing. Lexa. She's Clarke's partner in this class, and being with her makes the class one of Clarke's easiest. Lexa always listens attentively and cares about her grades to the point where she sometimes doesn't even let Clarke do anything. Clarke doesn't really mind, except that it’s kind of insulting. It keeps her mom off her back about her grades, and she doesn't even have to do anything.

 

Lexa herself is alright, but she's so quiet. Clarke has attempted to start conversations with her, but she tends to give one word answers. Clarke tries not to take offense. She wishes Lexa were nicer. She's kind of cute, and she's really smart. Maybe they could have been friends if she weren't so rude.

 

.:.

 

Lexa feels out of place in the bleachers watching the quidditch game. Anya had said she should go, since almost everyone does. It's a good way to connect with her peers, and she should try to learn the rules because it's part of the foundation of magical society.

 

Plus, Lexa gets afraid sometimes that Anya won't want to be her friend if she doesn't make an effort. She had become her friend originally out of pity. What if she decides Lexa is a lost cause?

 

So Lexa goes to the quidditch games, but only the Gryffindor ones. That makes her feel even more out of place, a small Slytherin among loudly cheering Gryffindors.

 

The game itself is complex but not altogether difficult for Lexa to figure out. Much of it is very similar to the nonmagical sports she has seen all her life. The general goal of getting the ball into the hoops is a particularly similar concept. The snitch is an oddity and puts quite a bit of weight on the seeker. The concept of beaters is strange, but Lexa supposes that most injuries can be healed with magic here, so they wouldn't be as afraid of it.

 

Anya herself seems to possess a fair amount of skill. She's a chaser and one of the best on the team. She has scored quite a few goals, and her control of the broom is impressive.

 

This particular game is against Lexa's own team, the Slytherins. They possess a fair amount of skill. From what Lexa has heard, their equipment is also significantly better than the other houses because so many of them are rich purebloods. Lexa is almost glad to be such a poor flyer if it means she never has to play with the people on her team. Lexa doesn't like them very much, but in the interest of not offending her housemates, she cheers for no one.

 

The day is cold, the last effects of winter still hanging on despite the fact that it's well into March. The game drags on long enough that Lexa is shivering and eagerly awaiting its end.

 

A large Hufflepuff boy suddenly slides into the seat next to her. "I totally slept through my alarm. What did I miss?"

 

Lexa has no idea who he is or why he's talking to her like an old friend, but she tells him anyway. "Gryffindor is ahead significantly, but Slytherin could still win through a snitch catch."

 

He nods distractedly. "How's Anya doing?"

 

Ah, so that is why he approached her. "Very well. She has scored many goals for Gryffindor."

 

"Oh, I'm Lincoln, by the way."

 

Lexa nods. The name is unfamiliar. Clearly he knows more about her than she does about him. "Lexa. Are you and Anya good friends?"

 

He smiles. "Yeah, I guess. We've known each other for a while. I'm just another one of her band of misfit muggleborns."

 

"Are there quite a few of us?"

 

He shrugs. "I don't really know. You should ask her."

 

Lexa isn't quite sure how to feel about this revelation. She had thought she was something special to Anya. But it's not a bad thing that Anya has befriended many muggleborn classmates. Lexa just needs to get over herself. It could even be a good thing. Lexa is interested in getting to know more muggleborns and hearing their stories.

 

Anya scores another goal for Gryffindor. Lincoln stands and cheers. Lexa reluctantly joins him. She doesn't want to seem like a bad friend, even if it does get her a few glares from her fellow Slytherins.

 

When they're done, Lincoln gives her a curious look. "Not cheering for your own team?"

 

Lexa shrugs. "I don't really like them very much."

 

"Fair enough."

 

Gryffindor ends up winning the match. Lexa doesn't feel all that guilty when she cheers.

 

.:.

 

One morning at breakfast, the Griffin family owl, a trustworthy and beautiful white bird that they got a few years ago, lands gracefully next to Clarke with a letter tied to her ankle. Clarke carefully unties the letter while scratching the owl behind the ear.

 

It's from her parents, no surprise there. It's her mom's handwriting, neat and small cursive. She skims it more than really reading it. Much of it is the same as usual letters, questions about her school performance and whether she's having fun and who her friends are. One paragraph sticks out to her.

 

_I'm sure you've heard by now about the election. Wells's father is hoping to be reelected as Minister. I'm trying to be elected, too, as head of medical. That would mean I would get to be on the council. I just wanted to make sure you know before the election proper. It's a big deal to me, and I think this could be a great thing for our family._

 

Clarke tucks the letter into her pocket. She doesn't really care about her mom's election, but her mom seems to care about it a lot all of a sudden. Murphy reaches across the table to get another sausage. "Who's that from?" he asks.

 

He's too nosy for his own good and tends to be awfully mean. Clarke doesn't like him much, but he always buts into her business like they're best friends. Answering is easier than fighting him. "My mom."

 

"Oh? What's new?"

 

Clarke shrugs. It's none of his business. "She's trying to get elected head of medical."

 

"Oh. Neat." He looks bored.

 

Clarke wishes she could sit somewhere else. She doesn't really like most of her fellow Slytherins. She wants to sit with her real friends in Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff.

 

.:.

 

Lexa, Lincoln, and Anya all meet up in the library. Lexa has an idea, and maybe it's awful, but maybe it's not, and she needs her friends' input.

 

"You know, this might actually not be the best place to meet," Anya says when she and Lincoln show up. "We're not even supposed to talk here. The librarian keeps giving me the stink eye."

 

Lexa shrugs. "We can meet somewhere different next time."

 

"Why are we meeting at all?" Lincoln asks.

 

Lexa takes a deep breath. "So I've been thinking."

 

"Never a good sign," Anya says fondly.

 

Lexa rolls her eyes. "So things are not good for muggleborns, right? The Ministry is ignoring us, and they have an almost exclusively pureblood administration that isn't looking to get better with this year's election. And Hogwarts itself has multiple teachers who are openly discriminative toward muggleborns."

 

"True," Lincoln says supportively.

 

"What's your point?" Anya asks. Her tone is dismissive, but her face is interested, so Lexa plows on.

 

"Nothing's going to change unless we do something."

 

Anya and Lincoln exchange a look that Lexa can't quite read. "Like what?" Anya asks.

 

"Like protest! We have to show them that we’re upset. And we could help educate young muggleborns about the magical world and get them involved in politics."

 

Lincoln and Anya are silent for a few seconds. Lincoln is the first to say something. "It's actually not a bad idea."

 

Anya nods slowly. "I've already been trying to help out some of the younger muggleborns. Some more organization couldn't hurt. And I know a few people who would be willing to show up to protests." Lexa smiles, but Anya isn't done yet. "But we have to do this right. If this is a total flop, it'll be hard to recover from. We need to be specific and directed and actually get things done."

 

Lexa nods. "We should start local. Fight back against Ice and Pike and help the new muggleborns."

 

"It's a good idea, really," Lincoln says, "but it's been tried a few times before. People have been angry about this for a while. We have to make sure it doesn't just fall flat again." He pauses, then adds, "I'm sure you're the best person for the job, though. Slytherins are supposed to be all strategic and ambitious, right?"

 

Lexa smiles. "I was thinking we could start the real protests and stuff next year."

 

"Good idea. You'll have more time to plan over the summer," Anya says.

 

"And you guys will help?"

 

Anya smiles proudly. "Of course." Lincoln smiles.

 

.:.

 

The end of the year is bittersweet. Clarke will miss her friends, but it isn't as though she'll be without them for long. She should be able to see Wells and Monty just as much, since their parents know hers. And she's been missing her parents, too.

 

She's excited to be an upperclassman next year. And she can't wait to see her friends again.

 

She gives Raven a big hug before getting off the train. "I'm gonna miss you."

 

Raven smiles, but she looks distant. "I'm gonna miss you, too."

 

"What's wrong?" Clarke asks.

 

She shakes her head. "Nothing. It's just - Being with my mom for the whole summer is going to suck. I wish I could talk to you guys."

 

"Of course you can!" Clarke says. "We'll send you letters, and you can come visit whenever you want."

 

Raven smiles a little bit. Clarke grabs ahold of her arm and half drags her off the train. "Here, we'll ask my parents if you can come over."

 

Clarke's dad is standing outside on the platform. "Hi, Dad! Where's Mom?"

 

He ruffles her hair a bit. "She has to do election stuff. Who's this?"

 

"Raven, this is my dad. Dad, this is Raven."

 

He grins and shakes Raven's hand. "Nice to meet you, Raven."

 

Raven shifts uncomfortably. "Nice to meet you, too, Mr. Griffin."

 

"You can call me Jake." He looks at Clarke questioningly.

 

"Can Raven come over for a while this summer?" Clarke asks.

 

He smiles. "Of course. As long as you like. We've got plenty of room."

 

Raven smiles. "Okay. Thank you."

 

Clarke grins. "I'll send you an owl. Don't worry, we'll see each other really soon."

 

They hug one more time. "See you," Raven says, then starts her way across the platform.

 

Clarke turns toward her dad. He grins and hugs her. "I'm so happy to see you, kiddo! I've been missing you. How was your year?"

 

Clarke smiles widely. "It was great! So much happened." She continues talking as they walk away from the platform together.


	2. year two

Octavia feels nervous. She's never seen so many people before, but that's not what's setting her on edge. It's where she's going, what she's doing. Her mom had told her she probably wouldn't get to go to Hogwarts, but here she is, approaching the platform with her brother.

 

She's so excited she can hardly think straight. But she's also nervous. What if she can't make friends? It's not like she's had much practice.

 

But she's mostly excited. She gets to do magic. This is more freedom than she's ever had before, and she's not letting it go to waste.

 

"Come on," Bellamy says. "We're early, so we can get our own compartment."

 

"Can we sit with your friends?" The train is so long. Octavia has seen pictures of them before, but she never visualized them as being quite so huge.

 

"I think it would be better if we sat alone." Octavia frowns. She wants to meet new people. Isn't that what this is all about? At her expression, he adds, "You'll make your own friends once we get there. You don't need to be hanging out with older boys."

 

Octavia understands, but she's still disappointed.

 

.:.

 

The sorting ceremony is much more fun without the nerves of actually being sorted, Lexa decides. The sorting hat's song this year is fairly clever. Its wordplay clearly goes above the heads of most of the nervous first years. Lexa keeps an eye out for the ones she thinks are the muggleborns that she seeks to help.

 

She spent most of her summer planning. She didn't have much else to do, since she's not allowed to practice magic outside of school and was unable to write to her friends because she doesn't have an owl.

 

Lexa is excited to start. She wants to make a difference.

 

She catches Anya's eyes from over at the other table, and they wave to each other. Lexa has missed her. She looks different in a few small ways, but she is still very much herself.

 

Lexa idly watches the rest of the first years get sorted. Few really stick out to her, but she does keep an eye on the new Slytherins. There are no real surprises.

 

The food is better than she remembers somehow. The boys are meaner. Murphy in particular seems to have grown even cockier over the summer somehow. He's bothering one of the first years, but he's too far across the table from Lexa for her to stop him.

 

She decides to ignore Murphy and focus on the positive, like the fact that she's finally back at Hogwarts.

 

.:.

 

Raven is happy to finally be back here, surrounded by all her friends. She spent a few weeks with Clarke over the summer, and that was super fun, but it wasn't like this, where she can see all her friends at once. And she actually really likes the classes, too. Well, all of the ones that aren't taught by Pike or Ice anyway.

 

So this is a good day. She's going to meet up with her friends again for a while. Then she gets to sleep comfortably in her own bed.

 

People are excited. The halls are full of noise. Peeves is causing some kind of mischief a few hallways down, so Raven decides to go the long way around.

 

There are a lot fewer people in this hallway because all of the first years are still receiving the tour. Raven makes her way around a corner, where her potions teacher, Nia Ice, stands still as a statue and glares at her. Raven wonders if this is supposed to be an intimidation tactic. Professor Ice has never tried to be anyone's favorite teacher, and she's often openly contemptuous toward her muggleborn students, which makes Raven a target.

 

Ice can't get her in trouble here, though. She's done nothing wrong. Raven keeps walking.

 

"Where are you going?" Ice asks. Her tone is solid, strong, and mean.

 

Raven looks her in the eye. "What's it to you?"

 

Ice glowers and steps closer. "Answer the question."

 

"Ravenclaw dormitories. Where else?" She might plan to meet up with a few of her friends and hang out for a while on the way, but what Ice doesn't know can't hurt her.

 

"It's the other way."

 

Raven rolls her eyes and looks behind herself at the half dozen other students going this way. "It's both ways."

 

Nia just glares and says nothing. Raven rolls her eyes again and goes back the other way.

 

It's not fair. Teachers can do whatever they want to students, even if it's mean and awful.

 

.:.

 

This is probably one of the best days of Octavia's life. There are so many people, and they're all so friendly. Bellamy is still worried, but Octavia isn't. She's done with being scared. She doesn't have to hide anymore. No one is going to hurt her here.

 

Her roommates seem like nice people. Harper, Monroe, and Octavia stayed up talking for a while, and Octavia likes both of them a lot. Fox went straight to bed because she was tired, but she seems nice too.

 

Octavia is a Gryffindor. Bellamy is happy because it means he can look after her more easily. Octavia thinks it's a good thing, too. She remembers what Bellamy told her about Gryffindor when he got back from school his first year. Octavia likes the idea that she could be brave.

 

It's getting late, but Octavia still heads downstairs to the common room to say goodnight to Bellamy because she promised him she would. He always worries too much.

 

He's standing at the bottom of the stairs with his arms crossed. He looks unamused at the sight of Octavia jogging down the stairs.

 

"Did you forget?"

 

Octavia shrugs. "You didn't say any specific time."

 

He rolls his eyes. "What were you even doing up there?"

 

"Talking to my roommates. They're nice. I like them. I think we're friends now."

 

"I'm glad you're making friends. I know you're going to make plenty." Octavia smiles. "But you can't forget about me, okay? I'm just trying to look out for you."

 

Octavia nods. He always wants to look out for her. "I know."

 

He wraps her up in a strong, sturdy hug. He still smells like home. "Good night, O."

 

She yawns. "Night, Bell."

 

.:.

 

It's time for Lexa's plans to come into motion. Anya contacted everyone she knows, and Lexa has talked to almost anyone she could remotely consider a friend. It's really happening.

 

Lexa is nervous, but it's not necessarily for herself. This is bigger than her.

 

The protest can't be during school hours or violent, because then Kane will shut them down almost immediately. That means counting on students caring more about the cause than laying around doing nothing during the weekend, which isn't something that Lexa is willing to bet on. But Anya has managed to find a good few people who are willing to come, some who have even said they'll bring friends.

 

It's not much, but it's something, and Lexa is willing to fight her way to the top. She knows they have to start with a bang, so the plan is to sit peacefully but loudly with posters outside Headmaster Kane's office. If anyone can enact schoolwide change, it's him. At the very least, they want him to agree to enforce stricter rules about the treatment of students.

 

Lexa designed most of the posters a week ago with Anya and Lincoln. They're all ready to go now. It's time.

 

People trickle in slowly in clumps. Anya and Lincoln and Lexa put together know quite a few people willing to come. It's still only about 20, but it's enough for right now.

 

They organize in front of headmaster Kane's office. He doesn't show up for a while, so the energy dissipates some. People chat with friends idly, waiting for the action to start.

 

Lexa approaches Raven. "I'm glad you came."

 

Raven smiles. "No place I'd rather be."

 

Lexa smiles back. "I'm glad. It's good to see that other people care about this."

 

"Well, yeah. This stuff affects all of us."

 

"That's true, but I know there are more who can join us. More numbers could give us more strength. I'd like to raise attendance for the next protest."

 

Raven nods. "I'll see what I can do."

 

Headmaster Kane walks down the large spiral staircase. Everyone quickly arranges themselves messily and holds up the signs. Kane scratches his beard and peers at them questioningly. "Is everything alright?" He moves a little closer to read the signs. "Justice for muggleborns, hmm? Well, what can I do for you today?"

 

Lexa steps forward. "Professor Pike and Professor Ice have been making life very difficult for their muggleborn students. We want them to be held responsible for their cruelty."

 

He appears to be listening attentively, but his face is still crinkled with amusement. Lexa hopes he is taking them seriously.  "Was this brought on by anything specific?"

 

"They've been treating us horribly for years. It's past time someone makes them stop," Anya says. Her voice is harder than Lexa's, and it seems to make Kane look her solidly in the eyes.

 

He nods. "Well, I'm glad you told me. I'll look into it and see what I can do." He smiles nonthreateningly. A few people move aside for him, and he walks away.

 

That was what they were going for, wasn't it? It doesn't feel as satisfying as she had hoped. Lexa pauses for a second. People are starting to disperse.

 

"Wait!" Lexa says. She looks around at them. They stop moving and look at her curiously. "He isn't taking us seriously. He's trying to appease us briefly because he thinks we'll forget about it so he never has to do anything at all. We have to prove otherwise to him. Thank you for coming here today, but we're not done yet. Be ready to protest again. I'll let you know when."

 

They disperse again. Lexa lets them go. Anya stays with her. "You did good."

 

"Thanks." Compliments from Anya aren't necessarily rare, but they are always honest.

 

"Nice job reading the situation. He isn't going to do shit for us until we force him to. We're nowhere near done here."

 

Lexa nods. "We have to catch one of them in the act. Get eyewitnesses. Pike is faster to anger. I think he'd make a better target."

 

"You want to provoke him?"

 

"Just a little. If we can get him to use physical or magical violence or some kind of slur..."

 

"Kane has to do something. I get it. Just be careful, Lex. Don't get yourself hurt."

 

.:.

 

Clarke's Defense Against the Dark Arts class is chatting idly before Pike shows up, as usual. Raven approaches her quickly before class. "When Pike asks for someone to help with demonstrations today, don't raise your hand."

 

Clarke frowns. Why? Before she can ask, Pike enters and hushes them, and Raven takes her seat. It doesn't make any sense, but Clarke trusts Raven, so she decides to do as she asked. She almost always volunteers, since Pike gets mad when students who aren't purebloods or good at the subject volunteer, but it doesn't really matter.

 

Pike starts class with a lecture like always. Clarke half listens but mostly just doodles in her notebook.

 

Eventually, the lecture ends, and the demonstration is about to start. "Any volunteers?" Pike asks.

 

Lexa's hand shoots up. That's strange. She almost never volunteers because Pike never picks her.

 

Pike ignores her. "Clarke?"

 

Clarke shakes her head. "No thanks." She doesn't know what's going on, but she trusts Raven.

 

There's silence in the classroom, then Pike sighs. "Lexa, come to the front of the classroom."

 

She obeys silently. Clarke doesn't know Lexa well enough to have any idea what she's planning, but she's definitely curious.

 

"Alright, we need someone else to demonstrate with today. Any volunteers?"

 

The class is silent. Most of Clarke's classmates are avoiding his eyes because they weren't listening during the lecture. Clarke avoids his eyes, too. She looks around. Raven is raising her hand. No one else is.

 

He sighs again. Clarke frowns. Why is he so reluctant to call on them? But he waves Raven up to the front.

 

"Alright, were you two listening earlier when I explained how to do this?"

 

"If we didn't understand, why would we have volunteered?" Lexa asks.

 

"Do you ask your pureblood students that?" Raven snarks. She's not wrong. He's definitely never asked Clarke that question.

 

He ignores them. "Well, I hope for your sakes that you were. Take your places."

 

Lexa and Raven take their stances correctly. Clarke watches carefully. She doesn't think Pike should be making them go against each other. He almost never does that until practice time. Clarke wonders why he wouldn't want to practice with Lexa or Raven. They're both very smart, good witches.

 

"Alright. Lexa first."

 

Lexa positions herself carefully. Then she casts the spell almost perfectly, except that in the process of moving her wand, it goes a bit too far to the left so that the spell hits Pike instead of Raven.

 

His limbs snap together almost comically, and he thuds loudly to the floor. The whole class erupts into chatter. A few people move closer and stand over him. Lexa is still surprisingly calm. It's like she planned this.

 

She probably did, Clarke realizes. This was the plan. But why would this be the plan? What's the endgame?

 

Murphy in particular is enjoying himself. "Can we just leave him like this?"

 

Pike is glaring as much as he can without moving anything but his eyes. Clarke chuckles. "We should probably try to find the countercurse."

 

He rolls his eyes. "You're no fun, princess."

 

"She's right," Lexa says. "We have to fix him." She still doesn't look particularly repentant. Clarke supposes if any of her teachers deserves this, it's definitely Pike.

 

It takes approximately 5 minutes for the class to flip through their books to find the spell. It probably could have been done faster, but no one likes Pike enough to feel particularly motivated. Most people decide to let Clarke do it, since she seems the most likely to succeed.

 

She completes the spell successfully on the first try. Pike stands up, looking deeply pissed. "Thank you, Miss Griffin. As for you," he says, glaring at Lexa, "I thought I made it clear how to aim on this spell."

 

"So my aim was a little off." Lexa shrugs. "Happens to the best of us."

 

He shakes his head disgustedly. "I should never have let you demonstrate at all. You are clearly incompetent."

 

Clarke frowns. How could he say something like that to a kid? Lexa looks angry. "I'm as good at magic as any of them."

 

Pike looks like he tastes something sour. "Mudbloods can never be as good at magic as real witches."

 

The class pauses in a stunned silence. Murphy is the one to break it. He whistles. "That's really harsh, man."

 

Lexa just looks fiercely determined. Strangely enough, she really doesn't look like she's losing. Oh, Clarke realizes. This is probably exactly what she wanted. Pike just used a slur in front of a classroom of 20 witnesses.

 

"That's an interesting opinion," Lexa says coldly. "I bet Headmaster Kane would love to hear about it."

 

That makes Pike look nervous, but he doesn't move to stop Lexa as she leaves the room.

 

.:.

 

People don’t like Octavia much. She doesn't want to let it bother her, but it does, more than anything. All she's ever wanted is a real friend, but she can't seem to get one.

 

Harper and Monroe and Fox are nice, but they don't want to spend time with Octavia outside of classes. In fact, they've been shying away from her more during classes, too. Octavia just wants to know why. If she knew what it was, she would change it, make herself better so people can like her.

 

It's frustrating. She's tried to talk to a lot of people, but it doesn't seem to be that simple. They talk to her a few times, and then they start avoiding her. She asked one of them why once, but that seemed to upset him, too. People are way too easy to upset.

 

So now she's giving up, going to her last resort. She doesn't want to do this because it means admitting defeat, but she clearly needs some advice.

 

Bellamy is waiting for her in the common room. "Hey, O. How were your classes?"

 

"Great. But I don't have any friends."

 

He frowns. "O - "

 

"I keep doing what you say. I keep talking to people, but then they stop talking to me, and they want me to leave. They all do. I don't know why I'm so bad at this."

 

"Everyone's bad at it at first. It's just that most people here have had more practice than you."

 

Of course. Everything is always going to trace back to her childhood, isn't it? She just wants to leave that part of herself behind. "Why couldn't I get practice at the right time?"

 

He sighs. "You know how our grandparents are, O." She doesn't. She's never met them. But Bellamy tells her everything, so it's like she's met them. "If they figure out you're a halfblood, Mom could get disowned, and then we wouldn't have anything."

 

Maybe being poor would be better than being lonely. Octavia doesn't know. She doesn't know what she wants to happen here. She can't change the past.

 

Bellamy puts his hand on her shoulder and squeezes. "We're gonna get you some friends, okay? I'll start by introducing you to a few of mine until you can find some of your own."

 

"Okay," Octavia says. It's a start. "Thanks, Bell."

 

.:.

 

"So," Anya says, "how'd it go earlier?"

 

They're meeting in the library again. Despite all three of them declaring that it isn't one of the best places to meet, none of them has actually bothered to come up with something different.

 

"Well, the class disruption went perfectly. By the end, he called me a Mudblood and outright stated that he thinks we're inferior to the general wizarding population."

 

"Wait, you actually got him to say that during class?" Lincoln looks impressed. "You got mad skills. That's great."

 

"And with Kane, after, how did that go?" Anya asks impatiently.

"About as well as can be expected. He won't fire Pike, but he's basically on probation. They're watching him very closely."

 

"But Kane isn't going to do anything?" Lincoln asks. He sounds puzzled.

 

Lexa shrugs. "We never really expected him to. Finding a new teacher is hard. He's much more likely to go through the path of least resistance."

 

Anya nods. "It's progress. If we can get Pike to mess up again, he's done for."

 

"Unlikely. He'll be more careful now. He's not an idiot. He doesn't want to get fired."

 

"He's totally an idiot," Anya says. "Some of this stuff is just habit. He can't help himself."

 

Well, she's not wrong. "You should try to provoke him. He's not going to let me get close enough. He barely lets me into his classroom."

 

Anya smiles. "Provoking people is what I do best. I'm gonna get him fired."

 

It's a noble endeavor but a dangerous one. Lexa and Lincoln exchange a look. "Be careful," Lexa advises.

 

.:.

 

Bellamy introduces Octavia to his friends just like he'd promised. They meet out by the lake. Octavia taps her fingers on her leg quickly. It's not distracting enough. This has to work. If she doesn't get friends today, she won't get any, ever. This is her last chance.

 

So, you know, no stress there.

 

Bellamy places his hand over hers. "Calm down. It's going to go fine." He doesn't know that. He's always trying to protect her so much that she can't always trust what he says. "It's just one guy. He's only a year older than you. His name is John Murphy. Sometimes he has a mean sense of humor, but he's a nice person." Octavia nods. Bellamy's told her about him a few times now. She's ready to meet him. "Look, there he is," Bellamy says, pointing to near the school entrance.

 

He's pale with slicked back black hair. His tie marks him as a Slytherin. Octavia stills her hands and sits up a little straighter.

 

He sits down across from them. "Hey."

 

Bellamy smiles encouragingly at her. "Hi, Murphy. This is my sister Octavia."

 

"Hi," Octavia says.

 

Murphy looks her over. "My family has known yours for years, but we never heard about you."

 

Octavia is about to tell him why, but Bellamy interrupts her. "She lived with our father until recently." That's a lie. Bellamy and Octavia have different fathers, and neither of them has been around since conception.

 

Murphy seems to accept it, though, so maybe Bellamy made the right choice. "Alright."

 

Bellamy starts to stand. "Alright, I have a lot of homework. I'd better get going. See you later."

 

"Later," Murphy says nonchalantly. Octavia doesn't answer because the panic is closing up her throat. She takes a deep breath and tries to fight through it. She didn't think Bellamy would leave her so early in the conversation.

 

He looks at her strangely. "Are you okay?"

 

"Yeah," Octavia says. She tries to think about Bellamy's good, safe questions for new friendships. "So what do you like to do?"

 

He shrugs. "I do Duelling Club. What about you?"

 

Octavia thinks back to her classes. It doesn't require much thinking to come up with her favorite. "I like to fly."

 

.:.

 

Raven curls up in the comfiest armchair in the Ravenclaw common room. Monty and Clarke sit near her. They've got a few chairs moved into a circle to form a little study group. It's Sunday and not even noon yet, so it's way too early for this. The potions midterm is tomorrow, though, and they're all less than prepared, so here she is.

 

The whole thing is exhausting. They've been going for a while, so Raven decides they need a small break. It's about time that she brings something up anyway.

 

"So you guys know Lexa, right?"

 

Clarke nods. "She's in the House. And I saw what she did with Pike a few weeks ago. That was - " She pauses to find the word. "Smart. And brave."

 

Raven nods. It really was. She's surprised Lexa even came back to class after that display. Pike is clearly bothered by her presence. "Yeah, she's been trying to improve treatment of muggleborns, especially around the school and stuff."

 

They wait for her to continue, so Raven plows ahead. "she's been holding protests. She wants to have another one about a week after Christmas break. It would be good if we could have more people there than last time."

 

"You want us to join?" Monty asks.

 

"Yeah," Raven says. She really hopes they will. They need more people, and as much as she hates to admit it, they need purebloods like Monty and Clarke. A lot of people will never listen to muggleborns or take them seriously.

 

"Well, I'm in," Monty says.

 

"I don't see why not," Clarke says.

 

Raven grins. She's very glad she has such good friends.

 

.:.

 

After midterms, it's time for Christmas vacation. Clarke says goodbye to her friends and finds her dad waiting for her on the platform.

 

She hugs him. She's missed him over the past few months. "Is Mom still at work?" she asks.

 

"Yeah. But she's trying to clear her schedule so she can be home more over break. We're going to have a traditional Griffin Christmas, don't you worry." He grins. "Come on. Let's get you home."

 

Home is the same as normal, but it feels a little bit different, emptier. That will probably change when her mom comes home. She always makes a big deal out of Christmas. It will be good.

 

When she comes home, she looks tired but happy. She hugs Clarke. "How has your year been, sweetie? Made any new friends? I was excited to hear that you did so well on your midterms."

 

Clarke smiles. She was pretty lucky on her tests. "Good! I like my friends. I don't need any new ones. And did you hear about what's going on with Pike?"

 

She purses her lips. "Yes, I heard. It’s unfortunate"

 

"Well, I think it's good that people are taking a stand against him. There are protests."

 

Her mom doesn't quite look happy anymore, but Clarke doesn't know why. "Are you participating in these protests?"

 

"Well, I missed the first one, but there's one coming up soon that I'm going to."

 

She's still frowning. Clarke wishes she would just say whatever's making her unhappy. Her dad seems to see it too now. "Give your mom and me a minute to talk?" he asks. Clarke nods reluctantly and goes to take her bag upstairs.

 

She doesn't actually take her bag upstairs immediately, because she was sorted into Slytherin for a reason. She never gives up an opportunity to eavesdrop.

 

"You know I can't let her protest against Hogwarts authorities! It would look terrible for my career. It might even hurt my chances of reelection," her mom says. Clarke doesn't understand what stuff going on at Hogwarts has to do with her mom's new job in the Ministry.

 

"Come on, Abby, it's just a few kids. It won't make it to the Ministry gossip. If you refuse, you'll just make her want to do it more. Just let it blow over."

 

" _ Everything _ makes it to the Ministry gossip. I can't have my own daughter publically questioning Ministry decisions. We decide who gets fired or hired in Hogwarts, you know that. Besides, she can't even seriously be interested in the cause. She's just doing it because her friends are." Well, that's mean. Clarke does care. No one deserves to be bullied in the classroom.

 

"Well, muggleborns do deserve their rights, don't they? She might believe in the cause. Her friend Raven's a muggleborn, remember?"

 

"Of course they deserve their rights. That's why they have them. They go to Hogwarts and practice magic alongside the rest of us, don't they?"

 

He makes a noise of agreement. "One sec, Abby." Clarke hears his footsteps approaching, so she hurries up the stairs to safety, but in her haste, she steps on the creaky board. He smiles fondly at her from the bottom of the stairs. "Eavesdropping isn't polite, you know," he says, but he doesn't sound angry.

 

Clarke walks back down the stairs toward him. "I was just curious. You know, you can't actually stop me from protesting."

 

Something like hurt flashes across Clarke's mom's face until she gets it under control. "If you protest, we won't give you any presents on your birthday."

 

Her dad doesn't look entirely happy about that. "We won't?" At her glare, he sighs. "We won't," he confirms.

 

Clarke wants presents, but she can feel her stubborn streak coming out. She never backs down from a challenge. "Fine." She storms off to her room to put her stuff away.

 

Her dad finds her later. "I know you want to rebel against your mom, but she really only wants what's best for us, okay? She really cares about this job. I'm not saying you have to do anything, but it would mean a lot to her if you would just sit out on these protests, okay, sweetheart?"

 

Clarke doesn't answer him. She's thinking. She would hate to disappoint Raven, but she would also hate to disappoint her dad.

 

.:.

 

Raven had the greatest Christmas break. Most of her friends were gone, so she had been chatting with people, and she met the nicest guy. His name is Finn, and Raven thinks she's in love.

 

Of course, it's far too soon to announce such a thing. It's only been a week. But it's definitely progressing well.

 

Today is the day to give him the real test, her friends. If he can get along with them, then he's definitely a keeper. Almost everyone gets along with her friends, so it shouldn't be a real challenge.

 

They meet in the Ravenclaw common room. Finn is a Gryffindor, so Raven has to show him the way, and by the time they get there, they're late for her own meeting.

 

Clarke and Wells are playing wizarding chess while Monty watches attentively. It's a normal day. They all wave her over and look curiously at Finn.

 

"Who's your friend?" Clarke asks, then moves her bishop to take one of Wells's pieces.

 

Raven takes a deep breath. "This is Finn. He's actually my boyfriend." He gives them his most charming smile. Raven smiles back encouragingly and takes his hand.

 

Wells smiles at them. "I'm happy for you! When did that happen?"

 

"Over Christmas break."

 

Clarke is gazing at him scrutinizingly. Raven hopes she doesn't give him too hard of a time. "So, Finn, tell us about yourself."

 

Raven rolls her eyes, but Finn doesn't seem to mind the attention. "Well, let's see. I'm a Gryffindor, second year. I like doing charity work, and I play quidditch."

 

Clarke still looks unsure, but she lets it drop. Monty speaks next. "Well, it's very nice to meet you. I'm Monty."

 

He holds out a hand to shake. Wells does the same next. "Wells Jaha. It's a pleasure."

 

Clarke doesn't shake his hand, but she does sort of smile at him. "I'm Clarke Griffin. Be good to her, okay?"

 

He smiles. "Of course. I would never think of doing otherwise." He rubs his thumb over Raven's hand.  Raven feels giddy. He's so charming.

 

.:.

 

Lexa is very confused when the quidditch coach calls for Lexa's presence in her office on the second day of classes after break. Lexa hasn't picked up a broom since Professor Indra Elm taught her how last year, and she has no idea what else this could be about.

 

She had found the coach to be very intimidating at first, but now that Lexa has a bit more experience, she seems to be one of the nicer teachers.

 

"Good morning," Professor Elm greets her. "Take a seat."

 

Lexa does as instructed. "Not to be rude, Professor, but why have you asked for me?"

 

She looks unsurprised by the question. "I heard about your movement and upcoming protests."

 

Interesting. Lexa has been approached about it by a good few people but never before a teacher. "What would you like to know about them?"

 

"I would like to participate."

 

Lexa is surprised. She hadn't imagined that any faculty members would be comfortable protesting against their boss and coworkers. She wonders what has made Professor Elm consider it. "Of course, Professor Elm. We would love to have you."

 

She nods, seeming pleased by this. "You're doing good work. I'm muggleborn myself, you know." She hadn't, but she takes the information in stride. "There are definitely changes that need to be made here. And you can call me Indra."

 

Lexa wonders if this is a privilege given to many students. Either way, she takes it as an honor. "Very well. Thank you, Indra. We appreciate your support. I assume you know the details of our upcoming protest?"

 

.:.

 

Octavia likes Murphy well enough. She isn't sure if this is what friendship is supposed to feel like, but it's okay. Mostly, it's just good not to be alone anymore.

 

Murphy is a pureblood elitist, and he thinks Octavia is one, too. Octavia isn't sure how she feels about that. It was Bellamy who did the lying at first, so it must be okay, but it leaves her with a bad taste in her stomach. The only thing that stops her from telling him is the fact that she doesn't want to be on her own again.

 

He's also mean. To muggleborns, first years, and anyone else who gets in his way. He thinks he's better than them. He doesn't do it to her, but that's probably because he's afraid of Bellamy. The way he talks about him sometimes makes him sound larger than life.

 

Octavia decides to confront him. She's a Gryffindor. She has to learn to be brave sometime. He sends a first year in the wrong way when he asks for directions to his next class, and Octavia snaps. "You don't have to be so mean, you know."

 

He snorts. "What, do you care about that little first year?"

 

"No, I care that you're being a dick."

 

He chuckles lightly. "Yeah, I'm the awful one in this friendship."

 

Octavia frowns. She had thought she was doing things right so far. "What's that supposed to mean?"

 

"It  _ means _ that most friendships aren't based on lies. I know you weren't staying with your father for the past 11 years. Your dad disappeared, like, right after you were born. He's probably dead."

 

Octavia doesn't know what to do. She doesn't want to lose the only friendship she has by admitting her parentage. She settles on half of the truth. "Bellamy and I have different dads."

 

He looks caught off guard by that. "Oh. Wait, so who's your dad?" Octavia shrugs. She hadn't planned that far ahead. "What, you don't know? But he's definitely a wizard, right?"

 

Octavia considers it for half a second. Should she tell him the truth? She decides on yes. If he can't like her even though she's a halfblood, then the friendship won't last anyway. "No, he's a muggle. I'm a halfblood."

 

"Oh." He looks like he just tasted something nasty.

 

Octavia feels kind of sick and maybe like she's going to cry. She shouldn't have told him. She should have kept him around until she could find someone better. Well, one thing is for certain. She can't let him see her cry. So she leaves before he can say anything else.

 

She wonders where she should go. She craves the privacy of her dormitory, but she knows Bellamy is hanging out in the common room with friends, and he'll know that something's wrong. She doesn't want to face him just yet. So she heads to the last place anyone would ever think to look for her, the library.

 

She waits until she's between two tall stacks of books to let herself break down. She tries to keep her sobs quiet in case anyone is nearby.

 

Someone behind her clears their throat. "Um, are you okay?" It's a Ravenclaw girl a year or two older than Octavia with her hair in a ponytail.

 

Octavia quickly wipes at her tears with her sleeve. "I'm fine."

 

The girl looks doubtful. "Do you want to talk about it?"

 

Octavia thinks about it for a second. She realizes now that the question is probably just posed out of politeness, but she does want to talk to someone honestly. "I think I just lost my only friend because he's a pureblood elitist and I told him I'm a halfblood," she says in a rush.

 

The girl nods sympathetically. "That totally sucks, man, but I'm sure you deserve better. I get that, though. I'm a muggleborn. Hey, you should come sit with me and my friends!"

 

Octavia sniffles. "Really?"

 

"Yeah, of course. I'm Raven."

 

Octavia smiles. "I'm Octavia."

 

.:.

 

Raven readies herself excitedly for the protest. She's been waiting for this for weeks. It's so exciting. Last time, nothing much happened, but this time they're bigger, stronger, and they have more evidence.

 

She's pretty pissed that Clarke canceled on her after she promised. It's not like her. Raven had asked her why, and all that she had had to say was that her mom had forbidden her, which is a completely stupid excuse. Her mom isn't even here.

 

But Raven has decided to ignore it. So what if Clarke isn't as good of a friend as she thought? She has other friends.

 

Finn is as supportive of the cause as a good boyfriend should be. He's so great. Raven loves that he's so agreeable and charming. Their new friend Octavia is also coming. Raven is glad. Octavia needs better friends. She clearly fell in with the wrong crowd when she first came to Hogwarts. But she's a good person and a good friend. Raven likes her. She might just keep her.

 

She and Monty go a bit early to pick up Finn and Octavia from the Gryffindor common room. When they get through the painting, the first thing Raven notices is that Octavia and an older boy are arguing loudly.

 

She approaches. Finn is standing off to the side looking unconcerned. "Hey, Octavia. What's up?" She glares at the boy but doesn't do anything else.

 

"Nothing! I'm good. Let's go," she says overly brightly. Raven can tell that she's faking, but she doesn't bring it up until they're out of earshot, her and Octavia walking down the hallway ahead of Monty and Finn, who are chatting.

 

"So who was that guy?" Raven asks.

 

She isn't expecting the answer that she gets. "My brother," Octavia says.

 

"Oh." Octavia hadn't said anything about a brother, but she supposes it makes as much sense as anything else.

 

"He doesn't want me to go to the protest," Octavia admits, "but he's wrong about things sometimes."

 

Raven is curious why he wouldn't want Octavia at the protest, but she doesn't think Octavia needs her putting her nose in her business. "Everyone's wrong about things sometimes. I'm sure you'll make up."

 

Octavia nods absently. "He always forgives me. But he gets worried."

 

Raven isn't entirely sure what that means, but they arrive at the protest before she can question Octavia further. They're not quite late, but most people have already shown up.

 

Today's venue is Pike's classroom. It's a riskier move than before. They plan to have basically a sit down in front of the classroom to show their displeasure with the fact that he's still teaching. They could be forced to move because they're disrupting education, but Raven doubts Kane will really enforce that in this case.

 

Raven takes one of the posters Lexa offers her, and Octavia takes another. Lexa gives Raven her small smile. "Nice work recruiting."

 

Raven's mind goes back to Clarke. She still can't believe she would just go back on her word like that. "Thanks."

 

Raven would guess that there are about 40 people here, which is just a bit more than double last time. It's an impressive improvement. It's a very solid portion of the school. Kane has no choice but to address them.

 

They all remain in a clump around the door. Raven ends up squished between Finn and Octavia. She doesn't really mind it. They all end up chatting for a little while, but it's not long before Pike shows himself. He takes one look at them and walks away. A few minutes later, he returns with Kane.

 

"They're attempting to disrupt education, sir. You have to remove them."

 

"I don't have to do anything." Kane looks somewhat amused. "I think we should hear what they have to say."

 

Lexa steps forward. "We will not allow an openly discriminative man to dictate our education."

 

"So you plan to disrupt the education entirely?" Pike asks. He's clearly pissed.

 

"We will not move until Pike is removed," Lexa finishes, ignoring Pike completely.

 

Kane hums. "Unfortunately, the whole process is very bureaucratic. My request to replace him would have to be approved by the Ministry. We have to give Professor Pike at least a few weeks' notice before terminating his position. You would be standing out here for a rather long time."

 

"We will need definitive proof that you have begun this process before we can move," Lexa says. Raven likes the way she talks. She's so definitive and strong, like she knows exactly what she's doing. She's a good leader.

 

Finn taps Raven's arm. "I made you something."

 

Raven turns and sees him holding a metal necklace. It looks almost like elaborate origami. The metalwork is clean and beautiful. It takes the shape of a raven. "This is gorgeous. How did you make it?"

 

He grins nervously. "I just used some charms."

 

"Well, it's beautiful. Thank you." She takes it from him and puts it around her neck. It sits perfectly on her chest.

 

"You're welcome," he says.

 

Raven turns back toward the action. She really wants to know how this is going to go down.

 

"I am the best option this school has for teaching Defense Against the Dark Arts!" Pike says. He sounds outraged.

 

Kane appears unaffected by all this. "I thought so too when I recommended you for the position, but recently you have proved otherwise to both me and a large percentage of the student body. Do you think they would be here if there was nothing wrong?" He turns to the group of students and smiles. "I promise I will give my utmost to have Professor Pike removed by the end of the year. I will require that you attend all your classes and leave this protest, but I assure you, I will be working on this."

 

He sounds so sincere. Raven doesn't think he would say something so definite in front of so many people if he weren't planning on going through with it. She thinks she trusts him on this one.

 

Lexa nods. "We will be awaiting proof, but that is very good to hear." She looks at her protesters and raises her voice some. "We will disperse for now, but if proof is not given soon, we will return stronger than ever."

 

People do as she says. Raven wishes they would do that for her. She's happy with how that went, especially Finn giving her the necklace. He's so sweet and thoughtful. But she's even happier that what they're doing is really working.

 

.:.

 

Lexa visits Indra sometimes after classes. Indra gives good advice, and she's not bad company. Lexa also likes to secure her loyalty. It is good to have a teacher on her side. Sometimes she brings Anya and Lincoln with her. Today it is just Anya.

 

After the meeting, they go down to the quidditch field. Anya still says Lexa needs to get out more, so sometimes Lexa goes with her to practices as well as games and sits on the bleachers. She brought some homework today, so she doesn't pay much attention to the practice game, but she notes that Anya does well. She knows that Anya puts in extra hours practicing so that she is the best she can be, and it shows.

 

After the Gryffindors are done, the Hufflepuffs take over the field. Lexa watches a bit while she waits for Anya to change. One girl in particular catches her eye, one of the beaters. She's not at all muscular, which is unusual for a beater, but she more than makes up for it in accuracy and good flying. Lexa knows her from somewhere, but she can't quite remember where.

 

Anya emerges from the changing room and pokes Lexa in the side. "Come on, let's go."

 

"Who's the Hufflepuff beater?" Lexa asks, pointing subtly toward the one that she means.

 

Anya smiles. "Why, do you have a crush? Lexa! This is great! I can totally introduce you."

 

Lexa blushes fiercely. "I didn't say that. I just asked for her name, god."

 

Anya is still grinning. Lexa pouts at her. She relents. "Fine. That's Costia Birch. She's a muggleborn. She comes to our protests. Very nice girl, and she's in your year. You should talk to her."

 

Lexa rolls her eyes. So that's how she knows Costia. She supposes she could use a more personal relationship with her protesters to inspire their loyalty. "Fine. Maybe."

 

.:.

  
  


The whole gang goes out to sit by the lake one Saturday afternoon at Octavia's insistence. "I'm going to go crazy if we spend another day inside. I already had a whole childhood indoors, I'm tired of it."

 

Sometimes she says things like that that make Clarke wonder what her home life is like, but she supposes it's none of her business.

 

It's a nice day to be by the lake. The sun is beating down on them, making it just the right temperature. It's still a bit too cold to swim, but Octavia decides to anyway. "I might not get the chance to again," she says with a shrug. "So none of you are going to join me?"

 

Clarke takes a hard pass on that one. It's barely seventy degrees out, if that, and the lake gets cold. Raven, on the other hand, asks Finn, "What do you think, babe? Could be fun."

 

He grins. "I'm in if you are."

 

The three of them partially strip and kick around in the water. Octavia stays in the shallow end the entire time, Clarke notes, which is strange since she was the one who suggested swimming in the first place. But she looks happy, so Clarke doesn't ask. She climbs out after a while, teeth chattering violently. She starts trying to get back in her clothes, but Wells stops her.

 

"You should let yourself dry off a bit first, or you'll never get warm," he advises.

 

She stops but looks uncertain. "I'm c-cold," she stutters.

 

Wells hands her his jacket, which he never had to use because the weather is so nice. "Do you want me to braid your hair? I used to do it all the time for Clarke."

 

Clarke shares a small smile with him. Those were good times. Octavia nods. "That would be nice."

 

Wells starts parting her hair. "I don't think we've officially met. I'm Wells Jaha."

 

"Like the Minister's son?" Octavia asks.

 

Clarke didn't think that there was anyone who didn't know that. Wells seems unconcerned. "Yep."

 

There's a pause, then Octavia says, "I'm Octavia Blake."

 

Wells begins skillfully braiding her hair. "I've met your family, I think. Most of the pureblood families tend to meet with my dad every once in a  while. Your mom's name is Aurora, right?"

 

"Yeah," Octavia says. She seems to make herself smaller, wrapping her arms around her knees. It's not a normal reaction to your family being mentioned. Clarke files that information away for later.

 

Wells keeps braiding her hair. He's coming towards the end now. "I wouldn't think your family would be alright with you attending the protests. Does anyone have a hair tie?"

 

Clarke gives him her extra. Raven and Finn emerge from the water looking cold but happy. Finn gives Raven his jacket. It's very romantic. Clarke wouldn't say that she's jealous of Raven, but if she had gotten to Finn first, she probably would be the one in a relationship with him right now. She had been initially suspicious of him, but now that she's gotten to know him, she knows that he's basically the perfect boyfriend.

 

Octavia takes her time responding to Wells. "They aren't alright with it. But I'm a halfblood, and they're not alright with that either, so they'll just have to deal with it."

 

Wells ties off her braid. "Sorry, I didn't realize it was a touchy subject. Just trying to make conversation."

 

Octavia loosens only slightly. "I know."

 

It seems like the innocent, light mood of the day has left. "I think dinner is starting soon," Clarke says, trying to save everyone from the awkward silence. "We should probably go get ready."

 

People agree easily enough, and they all leave. Octavia shoots one last longing look at the lake before she follows.

 

That girl is weird, Clarke decides. There's definitely something strange about the way she was brought up. Clarke isn't sure what it could be, but resolves to try to find out as she gets to know Octavia better.

 

.:.

 

Lexa has already started planning her next protest when she receives a summoning to Kane's office. Her main thought is that it's about time.

 

The spiral staircase leading to his office is elaborate and clearly meant to be intimidating. Lexa is dwarfed by it, but she feels nothing but determination.

 

Kane is sitting in his chair waiting for her. "Do you want some tea?" he asks.

 

She does, but she will not allow herself to be distracted. "No, thank you. I understand you have something to tell me?"

 

He smiles. "Right to business, then. Suit yourself." He moves a paper across the table so she can look at it. "This is the Ministry's decision concerning Pike. They've authorized a job search for his replacement over the summer."

 

Lexa skims the paper. It tells her just what he just did, and it has the Ministry's official seal. "Good. I am glad."

 

He nods. "I trust you will spread the message to your followers?"

 

"Yes, of course. Thank you for your support and cooperation. I know you did not need to do that, and it is much appreciated." Sucking up to the administration has never hurt anybody, and Lexa knows that it's a powerful manipulation tactic. She's also partly being genuine.

 

He smiles. "Of course. I trust this is the end of all this mess?"

 

Lexa frowns. She hopes Kane hasn't done all of this because he thinks it will shut them up. "The end of Pike's mess, yes, but not of our justice. We plan to stay active and continue to call out discrimination when we see it."

 

Kane sighs. "I'm going to be frank with you here. If you keep this up, I'm likely to lose my job. The Ministry will notice that I'm unable to keep students on track in focusing on their learning. My replacement almost definitely won't be as sympathetic to your cause. If you could at least tone it down for a while, I would appreciate that very much."

 

Lexa frowns. It may well be a fair point, but she can't let this movement come to an end. "I would hate to see you fired. I can agree to bring issues to you first, but if you don't work on them, then I will have to organize more protests. I realize that I'm putting you in a difficult position here, but you can't honestly expect me to prioritize your job over the lives of muggleborn students."

 

He doesn't look happy with that response, but he doesn't look angry either. "I understand. If that's all, I have some other business to attend to."

 

Lexa nods. "Thank you for seeing me about this. Have a nice day, Headmaster."

 

He smiles tiredly at her, and she makes her way out.

 

.:.

 

Octavia sits down next to Raven suddenly one day and just starts talking. She does this sometimes, and it has ceased to surprise Raven. The only reason it might be surprising right now is that Raven is in Ravenclaw common room, but she supposes Octavia is often more clever than Raven gives her credit for.

 

"Okay, so I've been thinking, and I really like flying. We did it in class, and I just - I love it, I don't know. But it's good. I want to try out for quidditch next year. I've been practicing with my brother's broom when the teams aren't out there. But I think I need someone out there with me, you know, to play keeper." She pauses expectantly.

 

"You want me to practice with you?" Raven asks.

 

"Yeah. I mean, if you want."

 

"Sure." It's not like she has anything better to do, and she hates that kicked puppy look Octavia gets when she can't hang out.

 

"Great!"

 

The walk down to the quidditch field isn't long, but convincing Coach Elm to let them have a quaffle and a school broom takes longer. By the time they're ready at the field, they only have half an hour until Slytherin is slotted to practice.

 

They decide to make the most of it. Raven's a fair flyer. She's definitely not the best, but she's also not the worst. It's kind of fun, especially since she never even imagined doing anything like this when she was a kid, but she could never make the quidditch team. Octavia, on the other hand, is very good, even though she's clearly undisciplined. She's a natural at flying. Raven wonders if she used to do this a lot as a kid.

 

Her skill with the ball is less, but she's clearly been working on it, and she's not bad. Raven is no expert, but she thinks Octavia has a lot of potential as a chaser. Raven can't really keep her from scoring.

 

They have to get down and put the brooms back before too long. Octavia looks happy, a peaceful look on her face that Raven rarely sees. That's what prompts Raven to say, "We should do this again sometime."

 

"Really?"

 

"Yeah. But you're really good, so you're gonna need a better keeper soon."

 

Octavia grins. "I'd never replace you."

 

Her smile is infectious. Raven can't help but grin back. "Good."

 

.:.

 

Lexa is nervous. After significant needling from Anya, she's finally going to talk to Costia, the girl from the other day. She doesn't want to mess this up. She's only gotten slightly better at talking to people over the past year.

 

Costia is very pretty. She's also constantly surrounded by a crowd of friends and admirers. Lexa doesn't know whether she can compete with that.

 

She manages to catch Costia alone surprisingly soon, when she studies by the break at sunset. She looks lovely like this, haloed by the sun, her brown skin almost glowing. Lexa takes a deep breath to steel her nerves, then walks up to her. "Hi. Can I sit?"

 

Costia nods and smiles. "Of course."

 

Lexa sits across from Costia. "I'm Lexa."

 

"I know." She blushes. "I mean, I'm Costia. I went to your protests. You did great."

 

Lexa smiles. "Thanks. I couldn't have done it without my fellow protesters." Oh no, now she's falling into her political speak. She wants to make this more friendly than that. "You do very well in quidditch. You have an impressive arm."

 

"Thanks. I used to play softball."

 

The conversation lulls. Lexa tries desperately to think of something to say. Costia eventually does it for her. "So, the next protests, are those going to be about Ice? She's almost worse than Pike."

 

Lexa doesn't necessarily want to talk shop, but she throws herself into the conversation anyway. "The thing is, we need solid evidence and witnesses. Like with Pike, he called me a mudblood in front of the entire class."

 

"He did? Oh my god. Why?"

 

Lexa shrugs. "He's a horrible person. Plus, I kind of paralyzed him."

 

Costia looks interested now. "Wait, how did you kind of paralyze him?"

 

"Well, we were learning the Full-Body Bind, and I pointed my wand at him instead of my partner."

 

She giggles. "Oh my god. How much trouble did you get in?"

 

"None. He couldn't do much of anything to me after he'd already called me a slur. He was on probation."

 

She nods. "Oh, yeah, I remember that. Well, he deserved it. I'm really glad he's leaving."

 

Lexa smiles. "Me too." It's nice to think that she had a hand in something positive at this school.

 

The conversation lulls slightly again. Then Costia says, "So what do you think you're going to do for your electives next year?"

 

"Care of Magical Creatures and Study of Ancient Runes. What about you?"

  
  


"Divination and Care of Magical Creatures. Hey, maybe we'll have that class together!"

 

Lexa smiles. She'd like that. "Yeah, maybe."

 

"We should hang out more! I don't know why we weren't before."

 

They're both smiling at each other, happy in each other's company. "Yeah, we definitely should," Lexa says.

 

.:.

 

Octavia practices every weekend now. She loves flying. The freedom of it is overwhelming. It's like nothing she's ever experienced before. And quidditch itself is fun, too. She remembers Bellamy telling her about it when he came back home after his second year. He had said it was fun and explained all the rules to her, but he had never said the parts that stand out for her.

 

He's on the team. That's the one thing Octavia doesn't like about trying out for the team next year. He keeps telling her how unsafe it is, like it isn't unsafe for him too. She keeps trying to tell him that she needs this, but he doesn't understand.

 

He's so awful sometimes. He doesn't realize it, or he just calls it "protection," but it isn't okay. She doesn't need to be protected, not like this.

 

But she loves it anyway, and she's going to ignore Bellamy. Raven practices with her a lot of the time these days. Octavia really likes Raven. She thinks this is what it feels like to have a best friend.

 

Unfortunately, Raven is busy sleeping today, which is understandable because it's early, and finals are this upcoming week. Octavia misses her, but she doesn't blame her at all. Raven isn't going out for quidditch at all. She doesn't have to do any of this.

 

It's not as fun throwing the ball from the hoop without someone guarding it, so she spends much of her practice time this morning flying as high as she can manage. It's so peaceful up here. She can see everything, the lake and part of the forest and all of the castle. It's like something out of a fairytale, dizzyingly beautiful from this height. When she's up here, she can just be one with whatever's going on. She's not missing anything.

 

She flies to the ground 20 minutes before Gryffindor quidditch practice is scheduled to start so that Bellamy won't yell at her for practicing alone. When she hits the ground, she notices for the first time that she's not alone on the field.

 

It's an older Gryffindor girl. She's a member of the quidditch team. Octavia recognizes her. Anya Pine, Gryffindor's star chaser. Octavia plans to compete for the position beside her.

 

Anya nods to her. "Nice broom. You planning on trying out next year?"

 

"Yeah. Thanks, but it's actually my brother's." Octavia knows she needs to get her own broom soon. She knows she can convince Bellamy and her mom to buy her one over the summer.

 

"Oh? Who's your brother?"

 

Octavia really hates being known as Bellamy's sister. She hopes she can get to know most of the team separate from him. "Bellamy Blake."

 

Anya doesn't look entirely happy with that. In fact, she looks almost actively displeased at the mention of Bellamy's name. "Oh," she says stiffly.

 

"Yeah, he inspires that reaction a lot."

 

Anya chuckles. "Alright, come on, I want to see what you've got."

 

"Right now?" Octavia shoots a panicked look at the changing room. Her brother will be here soon.

 

"They won't show up for a while. Most of them are always late. Come on, what are you afraid of?"

 

Right. Gryffindor. Octavia isn't going to be afraid of her brother knowing she's been practicing, especially if she's doing it with someone as cool as Anya. She gets on the broom.

 

They pass the quaffle back and forth for a while, then Anya watches Octavia shoot a few goals. She critiques Octavia's form sometimes and gives her advice. Octavia tries not to mind. She knows she needs it if she wants to make it onto the team.

 

It's all fun until Bellamy shows up. Octavia first sees him as a blob on the edge of her vision, then he starts yelling. She feels her knuckles clench on her broom until they turn white.

 

Anya rolls her eyes. "I guess we should probably go down there. You're good at this, by the way. Better than him."

 

Octavia manages a nervous smile. "Thanks."

 

Almost as soon as she hits the ground, Bellamy is standing over her, looking furious. "I told you to stop flying! You're not trying out for the team!" He takes his broom from her hand forcefully.

 

Every ounce of calm Octavia has disappears at this. "Shut up! You're such a fucking hypocrite! Why won't you ever keep your fucking mouth shut? I hate you!"

 

She walks off the pitch before he can say anything else. She hears him calling after her, but she doesn't stop.

 

.:.

 

Lexa can't believe the year is over so fast. She knows it's sappy and cliche, but it felt like the year flew by, especially this last part, and she knows why.

 

Costia is a joy to spend time with. She's a good conversationalist, and she's bright and funny and beautiful.

 

There is only one problem: Lexa may ruin it. She has the worst crush. She doesn't want to ever let it ruin this beautiful friendship. It's one of the closest friendships she's ever had, and it happened so fast. She can't let it go to waste over a stupid little feeling. Luckily, she has a whole summer to get over it.

 

"Are you even listening to me?" Costia asks.

 

Lexa was too busy looking at Costia's lips. She blushes. "Sorry."

 

Costia smiles. She has the most beautiful smile. "No worries. I was just saying, we should keep in touch over the summer!"

 

Lexa frowns. "I don't have an owl or anything." She wishes she could stay in contact with Costia, even if it wouldn't be the same as being here talking to her.

 

Costia laughs. "No, silly. We're both muggleborn. Don't you have an email or something?"

 

Of course. Now Lexa feels stupid. "Yeah. Um, here." She starts digging through her bag for a writing utensil until Costia holds one up for her. Lexa smiles at her and uses the pen to write her email on Costia's arm.

 

"Great!" Costia beams. "Now we can still talk whenever we want in the summer. That's good. I was going to miss you."

 

Lexa smiles. She can feel her stomach jump, but she ignores it. She's in way too deep. "I would have missed you, too."

 

.:.

 

Octavia curls up small in her compartment on the train ride home. She's terrified. She doesn't want to go home. What she has here is good. She doesn't want to lose it.

 

Her friends still surround her, chatting about their summer plans. Raven is idly playing with Octavia's hair to calm her. It's working but only partially. Octavia leans on her, grateful for her attention.

 

Everyone has cool plans for the summer. Clarke's house has a pool, and she plans to throw a few small parties for friends. Wells is travelling somewhere across the world. Finn is travelling somewhere else.

 

Octavia is invited to Clarke's parties, but she already knows she won't be allowed to go. She doesn't know if she'll be allowed to go outside at all. It's supposed to be different now, but what if it isn't?

 

Bellamy told her their grandparents are coming home for most of the summer. That's what's making her really nervous. Her mom is bad sometimes, but most of the time, it's just because she's afraid of her grandparents. They aren't good people, that's what Bellamy told her. Octavia was never allowed to meet them. They only like purebloods. They wouldn't like Octavia, and if they knew about her, they wouldn't like her mom anymore, and they wouldn't give her money.

 

Now they know about her. And they're coming. Octavia doesn't know what they'll do, but she's very scared.

 

The doors to the compartment swish open. Octavia looks up to see Bellamy. "Hey. I need to talk to you."

 

"Go ahead," Octavia says.

 

Bellamy shoots an unhappy glance at the rest of the people in the compartment but starts talking anyway. "First of all, I'm sorry. I was out of line the other day."

 

He pauses. Octavia realizes she's supposed to forgive him. Instead, she says, "Yes."

 

He sighs. "There's something else. Mom sent a letter. It just arrived this morning." He pulls a piece of paper out of his pocket and hands it to her. "Sorry," he says again. Octavia feels a dread filling her.

 

The letter is her mom's shaky handwriting. It's brief.

 

_ Octavia can't be here this summer. They won't let me stay in the family if she is. They say they need evidence I've disowned her. They'll search this time. They won't leave until summer is over. Tell her I'm sorry. _

 

Octavia is shaking. The letter wasn't even for her. Her mom didn't even have the gall to tell her herself.

 

Bellamy speaks up again. "I'm sorry. I've found someone who's willing to take you in for a little while."

 

If Octavia knows Bellamy, it's one of his friends. She hasn't had many positive experiences with them. "I don't like your friends."

 

He frowns. "What other choice do you have?"

 

"What's going on?" Raven asks.

 

Octavia folds up the piece of paper and puts it in her robe pocket. "I can't go home."

 

Most of the compartment looks alarmed at that.  "Why not?" Raven demands.

 

Octavia shrugs. She doesn't want to explain it. "My grandparents."

 

Even Clarke, who Octavia doesn't think likes her much, looks very concerned. "You can stay with me if you need to."

 

Octavia picks at the hem of her robes. Normally she wouldn't even consider imposing herself on someone like this. "Your parents wouldn't mind?"

 

Clarke shakes her head. "No, of course not. We have an extra bedroom, and we don't mind company, especially if you need a place to stay."

 

Bellamy looks relieved. "That's great. See, O, you'll be fine." Octavia nods slowly. She still feels kind of sick. He continues, "I'm going to make sure Mom buys you the nicest broom on the market. I want you to make the team next year."

 

He doesn't. He's just saying that. It's another apology. Octavia knows him too well to fall for it. He'll get the broom, but he'll never be happy about her being on the team.

 

It doesn't matter, she tries to convince herself. But it does. All of this, it matters. All she says is, "I know." She's not going to yell at him if this is the last time she'll see him for a month.

 

Bellamy puts a hand on Octavia's shoulder. "I know this is hard. I'm gonna miss you so much."

 

Octavia nods. "I'm gonna miss you, too."

 

He only looks back at her once before he leaves. Once he's gone, her friends' confusion gets louder.

 

"How could your mom just not let you come home for the summer?" Wells asks. He sounds appalled.

 

Octavia just shrugs. She thinks the how of it is pretty obvious. Raven is still playing with Octavia's hair. Octavia likes it. It feels grounding.

 

"That's so mean," Monty says. "Why would she do that?"

 

Finn asks at almost the same time, "Why would she only tell you today?" Raven kicks him lightly. He looks sheepish and confused.

 

Octavia closes her eyes. She doesn't want to answer questions. Raven is now braiding parts of Octavia's hair.

 

"Guys, stop. She's obviously uncomfortable," Clarke says.

 

Octavia is surprised to hear it coming from Clarke. She supposes she might not know Clarke as well as she thinks.

 

The train comes to a stop eventually. Octavia isn't ready. She says goodbye to Raven first. They hug, then Raven leaves with Finn. Octavia falls into step with Clarke. "I don't want to impose," she says softly.

 

"You aren't," Clarke says. "I promise. You're gonna love my dad. And my mom's nice, too, you just have to get to know her. We have a pool, and we'll have the others over for parties sometimes. It'll be fun."

  
Octavia lets Clarke chatter. The sound is calming enough that she can almost forget the weight of the letter in her breast pocket.


	3. year three

Clarke and Octavia arrive at Platform 9 ¾ a bit early. It fills Clarke with a longing to be back at Hogwarts. She's glad Octavia was there over the summer. Otherwise, it would have felt so empty. Her mom is never home anymore.

 

Clarke's dad hugs Octavia, then Clarke. "You girls stay safe. Have fun this year!" He checks his watch. "I really have to go. Remember to write! Octavia, if you ever get in any sort of trouble - "

 

"I'll write to you," Octavia says fondly. He smiles and half jogs out, waving to them as he disappears through the platform.

 

Clarke thinks she would be jealous if she had to share her parents with anyone else, but she can't begrudge Octavia this. She's so obviously happy any time she's shown any kind of parental affection.

 

Octavia grins at Clarke. "I'm so glad to be back here. Not that staying with your family wasn't great," she rushes to add.

 

Clarke laughs. "I'm glad to be back here, too. Come on, we should probably go try to find a seat."

 

They search for a while before finding a familiar face. Finn sits alone in a compartment. Clarke and Octavia walk in to join him. "Hey!" Clarke greets. "How was your summer?"

 

He smiles, but there's something off about it. "Pretty good, I guess."

 

"Where's Raven?" Octavia asks, seeming uninterested in what Finn has to say.

 

He shrugs. "She decided to sit in a different compartment."

 

Clarke frowns. That doesn't make sense unless they’re having problems. Octavia stands up, looking puzzled. "I'm gonna go find her. I'll see you guys at Hogwarts."

 

Clarke nods. "See you."

 

Once Octavia has left the compartment, Clarke asks, "So what's wrong with you two?"

 

He sighs and shakes his head. "I don't know. We were fine, but then one day - " He breaks off, seeming upset.

 

"She broke up with you?" Clarke guesses. She's kind of curious why Raven would do that, but she supposes she can hear her side of the story later.

 

Finn looks up at her, clearly upset. Clarke knows she's right. "I have no idea why she would do that," Clarke says. "It was clearly a mistake. I'm sure she'll regret it."

 

He smiles sadly. "I wish you were right. But it was weeks ago, and she still won't even talk to me. I don't think she regrets it."

 

Clarke wonders what could make Raven move on so fast. Maybe she met someone else. "Then it's her loss. Honestly, Finn, you're a real catch."

 

His smile wavers slightly, but it seems genuine. "Thanks, Clarke. You're a good friend."

 

Clarke smiles and unconsciously shifts closer to Finn. "So are you."

 

.:.

 

Raven sits in a nice compartment with most of her friends. She's having a good time chatting with Octavia about their summers and with Monty about their boyfriends. Monty's started dating a nice boy from Gryffindor named Jasper. He's very chatty. Raven doesn't like him, but as long as Monty's happy, she's happy.

 

Two notable people are missing. Clarke and Finn. Raven doesn't know where they could have gotten to, but an hour into the train ride, she decides to go find them. Octavia offers to help, since she claims she might know where they are.

 

Octavia leads Raven halfway down the train before stopping. The glass doors are opaque, so Raven doesn't know if Octavia is correct in her guess before she opens the door.

 

What she sees is enough to make her feel sick. Octavia gasps. As soon as the two of them walk in the door, Clarke and Finn break their kiss quickly and guiltily.

 

Raven feels like she's going to cry. She probably is. "Get out," she says in a low angry tone. Finn jumps out and basically runs out of the compartment, clearly very happy to be gone. "Not you," Raven says to Clarke.

 

Clarke looks panicked. "He told me the two of you had broken up!"

 

It sounds like an excuse if Raven's ever heard one. "Bullshit."

 

"No, honestly, he did! I swear."

 

Raven still doesn't believe her. How could Clarke do this to her? They were best friends. "Oh yeah? How long did he say we were broken up for?"

 

Clarke looks so guilty. It's not just her reddened lips and messy hair. Raven knows she did this. She knows she instigated this. Clarke says, "A few weeks."

 

"Really? So you would be okay with making out with a guy I literally just broke up with?"

 

"He said - "

 

"I don't care what he said!" Raven yells. "Get out of my sight!"

 

Clarke hurries out of the compartment. Raven collapses onto one of the seats. She hears the door shut, and then Octavia sits down beside her. "She shouldn't have done that," Octavia says.

 

That's the understatement of the century. Raven can't take much comfort from it. Instead, she lets herself break down. Octavia holds her as the sobs start.

 

.:.

 

After the feast, Costia catches Lexa in the hallway. "I missed you over break," she says, a small smile playing across her face.

 

Lexa smiles back. "I missed you, too. How was your summer?"

 

"It was good. What about yours?"

 

Lexa's summer was strange. The system has been bouncing her between homes for years, and now that she's away for the most of the year, she's been spending her summers in a group home. It's not an entirely positive experience, but it's something she can get used to. "It was fine."

 

"Did you get your permission slip for Hogsmeade signed?"

 

It had only taken a few extra chores to get the group home manager to sign it for her. "Yes. What about you?"

 

"Of course. I can't wait for our first visit. I've heard so much about it. I really want to see it."

 

Lexa smiles. "We should go together."

 

Costia grins. "That's a great idea!" She looks completely beautiful when she smiles. Lexa has a problem. Over the summer, this little crush has grown stronger instead of disappearing. She doesn't even know if Costia even likes girls. It's really very unlikely that this turns out well.

 

So Lexa decides to do what she does best and ignore it. Maybe the feelings will go away eventually, and if they don't, she can deal with it then.

 

.:.

 

Octavia is tired of all this drama. It's not that she doesn't sympathize with what Raven is going through, but she's tired. She just wants them all to be friends again.

 

If this had happened last year, she would have ditched Clarke in a heartbeat. Raven is her best friend. But Clarke offered her a home when she needed it over the summer, and they've become closer because of it. She can't just abandon Clarke now. What if she needs her help again?

 

She doesn't want to have to choose. But she hates playing go-between for their fights.

 

Clarke catches her outside the Gryffindor dormitories. "Hey, Octavia."

 

Octavia sighs. "Hey."

 

Clarke looks almost as tired as Octavia feels. "You believe me, right? I didn't mean to hurt Raven."

 

Octavia doesn't know what to believe. "I know you wanted to believe him. But you should have at least checked with Raven first. If they had really broken up a few weeks ago, I think she still would be hurt that you jumped on him like that."

 

Clarke looks so upset. "I know. I did wrong. I wasn't thinking. Can you tell her that?"

 

"Talk to her yourself."

 

"She won't listen to me. Look, I know I'm in the wrong here. I just want to fix this."

 

Octavia sighs. "Just give her time. I'll talk to her."

 

.:.

 

Raven is considering throwing her necklace off the Ravenclaw tower. It used to be a comforting weight and a nice reminder of her boyfriend. Now she would rather not think of Finn. There's no way she's going to give him back any of his things, but there's no way she's going to wear it again either. It's forever tainted by him.

 

Monty sits down next to her. "So it turns out Jasper is straight."

 

Raven probably could have called that one. "That sucks. Sounds like your day has been as bad as mine."

 

"Straight boys suck."

 

Raven chuckles. "Agreed."

 

Monty sits down next to her. "What you got there?"

 

"Finn gave me this necklace."

 

He nods. "You gonna set it on fire or something?"

 

"I was considering throwing it out the window."

 

"You should do it. Let him drop out of your life forever. It could be symbolic. Then you should help me steal ice cream from the kitchen."

 

That sounds like a better plan than crying alone. "Alright." She stands up and opens the window. She lets her hand dangle out for a second before letting go.

 

It doesn't make her feel any better. She doesn't know why she thought it would.

 

They manage to successfully sneak down to the kitchen. Their plan begins to fail once they get in there. Finn is there, his arm around another girl.

 

Raven feels her insides turn to stone. "Wow, it took you all of 2 minutes to move on from me, didn't it?"

 

Finn turns around. He looks hurt, but Raven can see through the lies now. "Raven?"

 

Raven ignores him and talks to the girl beside him. "You should dump this one. Trust me. He made out with one of my friends. Get out while you can."

 

The girl looks skeptical. "Is that true?" she asks Finn.

 

"Of course not. We were already broken up for months by then. She's crazy."

 

Raven squeezes her hand into a fist. "You liar! We were still together, and you know it!"

 

He shakes his head. "Raven, let's be reasonable - " He's broken off by Raven's fist slamming into his face.

 

He falls over, blood spilling from his nose onto the kitchen floor. His new girl gasps and looks angry. Monty just looks kind of impressed.

 

Raven doubts she's going to be getting a warm welcome from the house elves after that little demonstration. She looks at Monty. "We should maybe leave?"

 

He smiles nervously. "Maybe."

 

They walk out. Raven barely refrains from kicking Finn.

 

"That was pretty badass," Monty says once they're in the hallway and out of earshot.

 

"Thanks." Raven's hand hurts. It's more or less covered in blood anyway, so it's hard to tell whether she's bleeding. She tucks it in her robe so the blood is harder to see. She doesn't want anyone to ask her about it.

 

They turn the corner, and Wells is standing in front of them. He looks at them, clearly puzzled. "What are you guys doing down here?"

 

"Nothing!" Raven answers at the same time as Monty says, "Visiting the kitchens."

 

Wells looks between them. "Okay?" He notices Raven's hand tucked in her robe. "Hey, what's wrong with your hand?"

 

Angry yelling suddenly breaks out behind them. Raven recognizes Finn's voice, and she also recognizes footsteps coming in their direction quickly. "You should help us hide."

 

Wells looks very confused and kind of concerned. "Yeah, okay. Hufflepuff common room is this way." He leads them down a hallway a ways, then comes to a pile of barrels. He starts tapping on one of them and humming. The door swings open.

 

"That's a really weird password," Monty mutters. They both follow Wells in.

 

Hufflepuff common room is smaller than Ravenclaw's but homier. It's full of strange looking plants, and the yellow tint of the room makes everything feel warmer. The chairs look comfortable.

 

"Now you have to tell me what's going on," Wells says.

 

Raven pulls her hand out of her robe. "I punched Finn in the face."

 

He winces at the sight of the blood. "Do you think he'll try to get you in trouble?"

 

Raven hadn't even thought about that. "Maybe. He likes to think he's tough, but I guess I didn't really know him that well anyway. Plus, I might have broken his nose, and then he has to go see Jackson."

 

He nods. "Does your hand hurt, or is this all his blood?"

 

"Uh, it hurts some, but I don't know."

 

He nods. "Come on, we need to rinse that off." He leads her through his dormitory into a bathroom. She's pretty sure it's the boys' bathroom, but as long as nobody stops them, she doesn't care.

 

Wells takes out a washcloth, wets it, and begins scrubbing away the blood. "I know he deserves it, but - "

 

"I probably shouldn't have done it. Yeah, I know." Raven looks away.

 

"I don't want to see you get in trouble. He's not worth it."

 

Raven nods. "I saw him in the kitchens with some other girl. He's still lying and messing with people's feelings. Someone has to teach him a lesson."

 

"It looks like you did," Wells says. He's wiped away almost all of the blood now. Raven's knuckles are bleeding, but nothing is broken or badly hurt. "Did it make you feel any better?"

 

Raven sighs. "No." She had thought it would, but it didn't. It isn't going to teach him anything. It isn't going to undo what he did, or how stupid she was to ever believe his nice guy act at all.

 

"I know it's not what you want to hear, but you need to let go of your anger. He's not worth tearing yourself up over. I don't think you're going to change him." He rinses the blood out of the washcloth, then starts searching the cabinets for bandages.

 

"You're right. It's not what I want to hear." Finn deserves that anger. If she lets go of it, he wins. If she lets go of it, it will be replaced with something worse, like sadness or pain.

 

Wells finds some bandages and takes them out. "By letting him make you angry all the time, you're letting him control you. If you let go of him, he can't do anything to you." Raven doesn't think that's necessarily true. "Just think about it, okay?" Wells says. "I'm going to go ask around and see if any of the older boys have alcohol to clean your hand with. I'll be right back."

 

Wells leaves. Raven looks at her stinging hand, then at Monty. "Straight boys suck," Monty says, "except maybe Wells. He's alright."

 

Raven chuckles.

 

.:.

 

Clarke climbs up into the bleachers. She's a few minutes early, but she's glad. She definitely doesn't want to miss this. It's Octavia's big day, the quidditch tryouts. She was talking about it all summer. Clarke is all but positive that she's going to make it after the amount that she's been preparing. They played together a little bit over the summer, and Octavia can outplay Clarke by a mile.

 

Clarke spots Jasper Jordan, Monty's ex-boyfriend who turned out to be straight, among Octavia's competition. She hopes Octavia beats him into the ground.

 

Raven slides into the bleachers a small ways away from Clarke. Clarke looks at her. Her hand is bandaged, and she's avoiding Clarke's eyes.

 

Clarke really needs to talk to her, and this might be the perfect opportunity because she knows Raven isn't going to walk out on Octavia's quidditch tryouts. She scoots closer.

 

"Stop," Raven says. "I don't want to talk about it, not yet. This is Octavia's big day." She finally meets Clarke's eyes. "But we should talk later."

 

Clarke nods. She's going to hold Raven to that. "Alright."

 

The tryouts start. Octavia gets to go first because her last name comes first in the alphabet. She flies smoothly up to the hoops. The keeper tosses her the quaffle. In her nervousness, Octavia almost drops it, but she manages to catch it at the last second. Clarke winces. She really hopes Octavia makes it. If all that work was for nothing, it would break her heart.

 

Octavia isn't really playing her best for most of tryouts. Nerves are making her hands more slippery. But she gets better as tryouts go on and she manages to focus, doing away with her nerves. She also shows clear good rapport with her teammates.

 

It's going to come down to how well her competition does. It's just Jasper, Octavia, and one other Gryffindor Clarke doesn't know competing for the one open chaser slot. Clarke hasn't seen either of them fly, so she can't be sure how this will turn out.

 

Jasper is called up next. He's fumbling and clumsy. His general performance on a broom is okay, but every time he tries to catch the ball, he looks like he's going to fall off his broom. He also only catches the ball maybe 60% of the time. They would be idiots to pick him over Octavia, who at least has a general aura of skill about her.

 

The last competitor is a tall boy. Clarke thinks he's a second year, but she can't be sure. He looks more sure of himself than either Octavia or Jasper did. It's not a good sign.

 

His form is decent as he flies up to the goal hoops. His specialty seems to be in handling the ball rather than flying. His flying is barely adequate, and Clarke notices that his broom doesn't seem to respond well to him. He even misses a few tosses because of it.

 

Octavia was clearly the best of them, and Clarke doesn't just think that because they're friends.

 

Octavia rushes over to the bleachers as soon as she can. She sits right between Clarke and Raven, clearly not picking favorites. "So, what did you guys think?" she asks.

 

"You were really good!" Raven says. "You totally beat them all."

 

Octavia turns to Clarke next for her opinion. "You were better than them. Jasper was entirely incompetent, and the other one, he knows how to handle a ball, but he can't fly like you can, and that's more difficult to teach. I think they'll pick you."

 

Octavia looks warmed by their words. "I hope so." She kicks at the bleachers, looking nervous. "They won't announce the results until tomorrow."

 

Raven puts a reassuring hand on Octavia's shoulder. "Seriously. You kicked ass up there. They'd be idiots not to take you."

 

Clarke adds, "They like you better anyway, don't they? You practiced with a few of them. Even if they ignore your abilities for some reason, you clearly have way better rapport with the team than any of the rest of them."

 

Octavia smiles halfheartedly at them. "I'm tired. I'm gonna head back inside. See you guys later."

 

Once Octavia has left, Raven scowls at Clarke. "You could have been more supportive."

 

Clarke shrugs. "I think she was looking for an honest evaluation."

 

"Well, I guess you're better at that than being a good friend," Raven quips harshly.

 

This isn't about Octavia anymore. Clarke needs to tread carefully.

 

Raven sighs. "I didn't mean that. Sorry. We really need to talk."

 

They've needed to talk for a long time now. Clarke has been used to this guilt since the beginning of the year. She's said sorry so many times now. She's not sure what else Raven wants to hear her say. "So talk."

 

"I shouldn't have been so mean to you. Finn is an asshole."

 

It's an olive branch. Clarke takes it. "I shouldn't have kissed him in the first place. Even if you had broken up, I should have waited and asked if you were okay with it. Your friendship is more important to me than any boy."

 

Raven smiles. It's been a while since Clarke has seen that smile. She's missed it. "Truce?" Raven asks.

 

Clarke returns the smile. "Truce."

 

.:.

 

Lexa is excited but also so nervous she's a wreck. How is it that she can stand before the headmaster and speak for a large group of students without getting nervous, but the second she talks to a pretty girl she's a mess?

 

Today is the first Hogsmeade visit of the year. She's going with Costia. It could be a date. Neither of them has actually called it that, but it feels like a date, not that Lexa has much experience.

 

She's been anticipating this not-date since the beginning of the year when Costia suggested it. It's exciting both because she's spending the day with Costia and because it's her first time visiting Hogsmeade. She's heard about it from Anya and Lincoln, and it sounds fun.

 

Lexa meets Costia outside the castle so they can walk together. There's only a short distance between Hogwarts and Hogsmeade, so students can walk over as they please as long as they pass the permission slip check at the front door. Lexa and Costia both want to go early so they can see as much of the village as possible.

 

The morning air is brisk but not too cold. It's still only the early side of winter. They chat idly on the way to Hogsmeade. As promised, it's not a long walk.

 

The main street is lively but not too crowded yet. It is full of cool little shops. Lexa doesn't have much money to spare, but she buys a little bit of candy at Honeydukes for later. They wander around in almost all of the stores throughout the morning and even spend a bit of time wandering through the more residential streets. The whole village gives off a very quaint feeling. It's very different from what Lexa usually sees in London.

 

They eventually decide to stop and sit for a while in a place called the Three Broomsticks. It seems to be a combination of an inn and a bar. They stay in the bar part and take a small table. Lexa pulls out her money. "What would you like?"

 

"Oh, you don't have to pay for me," Costia says. "I think I'm going to try the butterbeer. It's supposed to be good."

 

If this were a date, Costia would probably let Lexa pay. Lexa pushes down the feelings. She should probably try to save her money anyway. "Yeah, me too. I can go order for us." Costia smiles at her. Something in Lexa's stomach twinges.

 

She orders the butterbeers, then sits back down beside Costia. The bar is crowded, mostly full of students with the occasional teacher. Few locals seem to have come out this morning. Lexa lets the comfortable silence hang between them until a waitress comes with their drinks.

 

The butterbeer is cold and very sweet. It's like butterscotch only more hearty. Lexa enjoys it. When she finishes her sip, she looks up and catches Costia's eyes on her. Both of them look away, blushing.

 

This is still in the awkward space between date and not-date. Lexa just wants it to be clear one way or the other. Should she express her feelings or bottle them up? She thinks honesty is probably key here, even if it means vulnerability. She thinks maybe it could pay off. She isn't the only one stealing glances.

 

This is her time. Her heart is beating out of her chest. She scoots a little bit closer. Before she can say anything, Costia says, "This is really good."

 

Lexa is going to tell her any minute now. Maybe it would be better to just show her, a little kiss. Lexa has always been a woman of action. "Yeah, it's so sweet."

 

They talk idly about the things they saw today while they finish their butterbeers. The conversation feels vaguely like a distraction, neither of them quite focused on it. Eventually, they finish their drinks and leave. They begin the walk home, hands swinging perilously close to each other but never quite touching.

 

Lexa wants this badly, but more than anything, she's worried about messing it up. She stops Costia with a little touch to the arm and turns to face her.

 

Costia looks confused. "Lexa? What - ?"

 

Lexa kisses her. It's soft and hesitant. Costia is slow to respond at first, but she catches on quickly. Then it becomes more enthusiastic and messy.

 

They eventually break away to breathe. "That was..." Costia begins. She looks beautiful.

 

"Yeah," Lexa agrees. She wants more of that. She wants to kiss Costia forever.

 

"We should do that again," Costia suggests. Lexa is more than happy to oblige.

 

.:.

 

Christmas at Hogwarts is beautiful. The decorations are just as elaborate and perfect as Octavia thought they would be. The halls are emptier, but the cozy feeling of Hogwarts is still amplified somehow. It makes Octavia angry that she had missed this last year to go home with Bellamy. This is so much better than home, even if she feels a little bit bad for leaving Bellamy lonely.

 

Most of her friends went home, but Raven is still here. It's nice, being just the two of them. Hanging out in a group has gotten bearable again since Raven and Clarke made up, but things are still a little bit tense sometimes, and Octavia can do without all those complications.

 

Octavia and Raven sit with one of Raven's friends for Christmas dinner. Octavia doesn't know her well, but she remembers seeing her somewhere. She thinks it was the protest she went to last year.

 

"So what's new with you, Lexa?" Raven asks.

 

Lexa smiles dreamily. "I got a girlfriend."

 

"That's awesome! Who is she?"

 

"Her name is Costia. She's a Hufflepuff, and she's amazing." She looks lovesick. "What about you two, what's new?" Lexa asks.

 

Octavia smiles. "I got into the quidditch team."

 

Raven shares the smile. "Like I knew you would."

 

"What position do you play?" Lexa asks.

 

"Chaser," Octavia answers.

 

"My girlfriend is a beater," Lexa says.

 

Raven rolls her eyes fondly. "So do you know when the next protest is going to be?" she asks, seemingly just to change the subject away from Lexa's girlfriend.

 

Lexa tenses slightly. "I don't know. We need some specific cause to direct ourselves at. Ice seems like the obvious answer, but she isn't supplying any concrete proof against herself. We really do need to do something soon, otherwise I fear we'll just fall apart entirely." She sighs. "And then there's the fact that Headmaster Kane doesn't want us to protest anymore because he's afraid he'll lose his job."

 

Octavia frowns. That doesn't make sense. "Why would he lose his job?"

 

"The Ministry gets to make those decisions. If we demonstrate a lot, it looks to them like he's unable to control his students. The Ministry at the moment is very pureblood anyway and would probably rather have someone less sympathetic to our cause in charge." Lexa shrugs. "I don't plan to let it stop me, but it's something to consider."

 

This girl is such a Slytherin. She's got clever and calculating down to a tee. Octavia is impressed.

 

Raven has her thinking face on. "I don't think we're going to fall apart. We're not that many people, about 35 or 40 tops, and we're mostly friends. I think we'd all show up even if it's a while until you ask. You're probably right to try to keep Kane in his job."

 

Lexa gives them a small smile. "Good. I'm sure something will come up eventually that will require some activism."

 

Octavia prefers the action of the protests themselves to this waiting. She thinks Raven is a little bit wrong. People lose interest and hope over time, and they might not show up again. The longer they wait, the more people are going to think that the issue itself is over.

 

.:.

 

The first quidditch game after Christmas isn't necessarily a particularly big one, but Octavia takes each one so seriously that it might as well be. If Octavia weren't on the quidditch team, Raven would have definitely missed this game, if only because of the below freezing temperatures. The only thing that keeps her in the bleachers, blowing on her freezing fingers, is the knowledge that Octavia has it worse up there, whipped awfully by the wind.

 

It's snowing a little bit, more like tiny chips of ice than real snowflakes, but Raven was prepared to suffer when she dragged herself here this morning, so she ignores it.

 

Raven was the only one of Octavia's friends who could make it to this game, so she's sitting alone. She devotes her full attention to the game.

 

Octavia is good, one of the best on the team, but Raven already knew that from practicing with her. Raven isn't close enough to see the determination on her face, but she knows it's there.

 

Gryffindor ends up winning the game just barely. They lead by just enough that they're still ahead after Hufflepuff catches the snitch. It's pretty obvious from watching that Octavia and Anya are carrying the team.

 

There's no partying after this game. Everyone just seems really eager to get inside and get warm. Raven feels that sentiment in her bones, but she still meets Octavia once she's done changing instead.

 

"You did so good!" Raven says. Her teeth only chatter a little bit.

 

Octavia grins. "Thanks! Come on, let's head inside. I'm freezing." Raven knows Octavia said it for her benefit, but she doesn't mind.

 

They end up walking up to Gryffindor Tower together and sitting on a couch next to the fireplace. Raven is mostly warmed up at this point, but she and Octavia cuddle together anyway. It's comfortable and warm, even if every part of Octavia is cold. Raven wouldn't be anywhere else.

 

They do this sometimes, wrap up in one another, like it's normal. Raven knows that all friends don't do this. Even best friends don't tend to be this close, this clingy. The thought almost makes Raven want to break them apart, put some distance between them.

 

She needs to relax. They're just cold. It's nothing to worry about.

 

The feeling in her stomach tells her otherwise. It's the same feeling as when she was with Finn. So she might be totally screwed.

 

.:.

 

"So I think I might be gay," Clarke says one day out of the blue during a group study session in the library.

 

"Welcome to the club," Monty says, unconcerned and uninterested.

 

"You can't be gay," Raven mutters. "You stole my boyfriend." There's no real malice there anymore, but she still sounds a bit grumpy.

 

Clarke shrugs. "I don't know. But girls are really pretty."

 

"You realize there are other things to be, right?" Monty asks. "Other than gay or straight?"

 

"Like what?" Clarke asks. She seems a bit unfocused, her eyes across the room on a girl in a different study group.

 

"Like bisexual, or pansexual, or - "

 

“What are those?” Clarke asks distractedly.

 

“Well, bisexual is when you like people of all different genders, but you might have a preference of one over the other. Pansexual is when gender doesn’t matter to you - “

 

"I think I like the bisexual one," Clarke interrupts. "That one seems to fit."

 

"Okay. Cool," Monty says, then goes back to his reading.

 

"You guys won't mind if I ditch you to go flirt with Niylah, will you?" Clarke asks, already halfway out of her chair.

 

"Go ahead," Raven says, at the same time as Monty says, "Not like you were getting much studying done anyways."

 

.:.

 

Octavia loves quidditch. It's coming toward the end of the season, and she knows she's going to miss it over the summer. Even if she can practice, she's going to miss the excitement of the games and her teammates.

 

What she isn't going to miss is being knocked off her broom by a bludger. That is definitely something she can live without. Normally she's more focused than this, but she's off her game today because Raven was too sick to show up.

 

They're given a time out. "You have to go to the hospital wing," Anya says. Octavia wants to argue, but it's not a question, and she's probably right. The blood is everywhere, and she's almost certain that something is broken. "Do you have anyone who can take you?"

 

Octavia shakes her head. Raven is sick, and it's still too cold for any of her less devoted friends.

 

Anya helps her up and drags her over to the bleachers, where she waves someone down. "I have someone who can get you to the hospital wing," she tells Octavia. Lexa and two Hufflepuffs Octavia doesn't know come down.

 

"Lincoln, you should probably take her. She can barely stand. Plus, we wouldn't want to interrupt Lexa's date, now would we? You two lovebirds head right back on up there." Anya smiles and passes Octavia over to the Hufflepuff boy, who steadies her with his firm hands.

 

Lincoln leads her across the field and into the castle, one of his hands on her back the whole time. The other is on her arm so that she doesn't fall. "You're pretty tough, you know that? And you do really good out there. You're the second best player on the team."

 

Octavia is focused mostly on not falling, but she does appreciate the attempt at a conversation. "Second best?"

 

He chuckles. "Keep it up, maybe soon you'll be giving Anya a run for her money."

 

They reach the hospital wing. Octavia is almost disappointed, but the weird tingling pain on the entire right side of her body is telling her that it's probably time to get in there. "See you around?" she says to Lincoln.

 

He smiles. "Count on it."

 

She isn't expecting the next time she sees him to be less than an hour later. She hears someone yelling what she think is probably her name from downstairs while she's hanging out in her dormitory. She goes down to find Lincoln standing there holding a wand.

 

"Um, you forgot this. I mean, you dropped it, while I was taking you to the hospital wing." He smiles and holds it out to her.

 

Octavia hadn't even noticed. She takes the wand. "Oh my god, thank you, you're a total lifesaver!"

 

He smiles. "It was no problem. Um, I was wondering if maybe you would possibly like to go out with me sometime?" he asks quickly, looking nervous.

 

Octavia smiles. "That sounds great."

 

.:.

 

Costia and Lexa spend most of their time together these days. Lexa loves it. This is everything she hoped for and more.

 

Time with Costia is warm, lazy, idle, and light. Lexa has always been serious and harsh and alone, as long as she can remember, but when she is with Costia she can be something else, warm and full of love and part of something. It's comfortable and perfect and everything Lexa wants.

 

"What do you want to be when you grow up?" Costia asks. Her arm is around Lexa, and she's tracing little designs on the side of Lexa's arm.

 

Lexa takes a moment to think about it. "I don't know," she admits. "I haven't planned that far." She thought about it when she was little, but everything is different now that she knows she's a witch.

 

"I think you should be Minister," Costia declares, resting her head on Lexa's shoulder. Lexa chuckles. That sounds a bit much like her childhood dream of being prime minister. Costia pouts at her. "I'm not kidding."

 

Lexa considers it. "Who would vote for me?"

 

"I think lots of people would vote for you. You're a good speaker, and people want change."

 

Lexa doesn't necessarily know that she would want all that weight on her shoulders. She's happy right here, warm and loved and free. "Maybe," she compromises. "Now what about you? What do you want to be when you grow up?"

 

Costia smiles. Lexa feels her tracing a heart on her arm. "A teacher."

 

Lexa likes that. It suits her.

 

.:.

 

"Oh, hey, whatever happened to that Niylah chick?" Raven asks. She's clearly just trying to distract herself from her pile of potions homework. "Did that work out okay?"

 

Clarke humors the question anyway, mostly because she too wants to do nothing less than write this essay for potions. "Well, we broke up, but it was alright."

 

"Do I need to fight her?" Wells asks.

 

"You have never fought anyone in your life, and you are not changing that streak because of me," Clarke says fondly. "Plus, I broke up with her."

 

Monty frowns. "Wait, why?"

 

Clarke shrugs. "It just wasn't working out. We weren't meant for each other, you know?"

 

Raven looks confused. "I didn't figure you for a romantic."

 

Wells cuts in, "Oh, she definitely is. I remember when we were kids - "

 

"No," Clarke interrupts firmly.

 

Wells continues over her, "We always used to play save the princess. Clarke always made me be the princess so she could be the knight in shining armor. Save the day, get the girl."

 

"...Not the story I thought you were going to tell," Clarke says. "Yeah, that's true."

 

"I'm sure you made a very good princess," Monty says to Wells. "How did you ever think you were straight?" he asks Clarke.

 

Clarke shrugs. It's a fair point.

 

"Well, speaking of romance," Raven pokes Octavia, "this one has gotten herself a boyfriend."

 

"Ooh," Clarke says, stretching the syllable.

 

"Who is he?" Wells asks.

 

"Lincoln Oak," Octavia says, smiling. "He's in Hufflepuff, and he's a few years older, but he's so sweet."

 

"How many years older?" Clarke asks. She wants to be happy for Octavia, and she will when she has all the information.

 

"He's a fourth year," Octavia says. Clarke frowns. Before she can say anything, Octavia jumps to her own defense. "Niylah is a fourth year, too! And I'm old for a second year."

 

That's true. Octavia's birthday is only a week after term starts. "I just want to make sure you're safe," Clarke says. She knows it isn't her place to try to force Octavia to do anything.

 

"I know," Octavia says, but she looks a little bit annoyed. "But I can make my own decisions. And he's super sweet. We've met up a few times before, but our first real date is next weekend."

 

"Well, I'm happy for you," Raven says.

 

Clarke is still a bit skeptical. Maybe it's just what happened with Finn making her paranoid. Regardless, that's not what Octavia wants to hear, so she lies. "Me too."

 

"When do we get to meet him?" Wells asks.

 

Octavia shrugs. "Soon, I hope. I'm gonna see how this date goes."

 

"So what are you two going to do?" Raven asks.

 

"We're having a picnic," Octavia says, smiling.

 

"That's romantic," Clarke says. And it seems well suited to Octavia. She's always been more relaxed in the outdoors, and she'll enjoy the thrill of stealing food from the kitchens.

 

Octavia smiles. "Yeah, Lincoln came up with it."

 

He sounds like a nice guy from the way Octavia is describing him. Clarke is interested to see how much of that is true, but she trusts Octavia to introduce them in her own time.

 

.:.

 

Octavia lounges on the blanket. They're out on the edge of the quidditch pitch, out of sight of Coach Indra's office. Octavia successfully stole a pretty solid amount of food from the kitchens, and Lincoln brought the blanket.

 

It's comfortable. The weather is getting warmer, which Octavia likes. She likes to come outside. There's so much freedom here. It does wonders for calming her down.

 

She wonders when in this relationship she'll have to tell Lincoln how she grew up. Maybe never.

 

"So what electives are you taking next year?" Lincoln asks.

 

"Care of Magical Creatures and Divination, I think." Octavia has been considering it for a while. She doesn't want to do exactly what her brother did. When he brought home his textbooks at the end of the year, she read them all, so she already knows all that stuff. It helps with her schoolwork a lot, but she'd rather forge her own path. Plus, Study of Ancient Runes and Muggle Studies both sound really boring.

 

"That's exactly what I took."

 

"Yeah? Any regrets?"

 

He shrugs. "Not really, but we're different people. I love Care of Magical Creatures. Divination was kind of weird but alright. Some of my friends really hated it, though."

 

That will have to be good enough. Octavia can do weird. "Yeah, I don't think I'll change it."

 

They eat more or less in silence for a little while. It's not an uncomfortable silence, but Octavia feels like she needs to fill it.

 

"I think maybe you should meet my friends," she says while chewing on a piece of bread.

 

He nods. "I'd like that. And maybe you could meet a few of mine, too? You already know Anya, but do you know Lexa and Costia?"

 

"I know Lexa a little bit. Is Costia her girlfriend?"

 

He nods. "Who are your friends? Maybe I know them too."

 

"Well, Raven Reyes is my best friend."

 

"Oh, I think I saw her at the protests last year. She seems nice."

 

Octavia nods. "Yeah, she's the best. Um, what about Clarke Griffin, do you know her?"

 

"I don't think so. I guess I'll meet them all soon enough." He smiles and puts his hand over hers.

 

Octavia smiles and leans closer to him.

 

.:.

 

"So this is my boyfriend," Octavia says.

 

Next to her is a large Hufflepuff boy. He looks calm. "Hi. I'm Lincoln."

 

Clarke looks him over. He's pretty enough. She hasn't seen him around much, but she supposes she can chalk that up to him being older.

 

"Hey!" Raven greets excitedly. "Wait, I know you from somewhere, don't I?"

 

"You're Lexa's friend, aren't you? Raven?"

 

She smiles. "Yeah. Lexa talked about me?"

 

He shrugs. "Some."

 

Raven looks surprisingly happy about that. Clarke isn't sure why. Lexa is just a girl in their year. Clarke has talked to her a few times, but she's not an especially interesting conversationalist.

 

"I'm Wells," Wells says, holding out a hand for Lincoln to shake.

 

"I'm Clarke," Clarke says, doing the same handshake as Wells. Lincoln's grip is firm but not too hard.

 

Monty introduces himself. Clarke is still a bit suspicious, but she can't say anything to Octavia. She doesn't want Octavia to think of her as too controlling, a younger and prettier version of her brother. Besides, she really does trust Octavia, she just worries.

 

There's nothing specific she can pinpoint about Lincoln that makes her nervous. He seems very much like a gentleman. Monty is currently trying to provoke him with an argument about professional quidditch, and he seems completely peaceful.

 

Octavia seems happy with the way things are going. Clarke smiles at her. She hopes this ends well.

 

.:.

 

Raven is sad to see the year end. She always is. She loves it at Hogwarts so much better than home.

 

At least she knows there's at least one person who feels the same. "You're staying with your family this summer, right?" Raven asks Octavia.

 

"Yeah, my grandparents only visit, like, every 5 years. It's going to be a drag, but at least I have someplace to stay."

 

That's one thing Raven's mom almost never does, actually kick her out. Fail to provide for her basic needs and then yell at her, sure, but not actually kick her out on the street. "We should meet up over the summer," Raven suggests. "You know, so both of us can get away from our families for a while."

 

Octavia smiles. "That's a good idea! Where could we meet? I guess you could come over to my house."

 

"Where is it?" Raven asks.

 

"Oh, it's way out in the country near London. Do you have any way to get out there?"

 

Raven shakes her head. "I can get about as far as the subway will take me if I steal my mom's card. We could meet out by the last station, I guess, that's between both of us." And it's remote, which Raven likes. She doesn't get away from the city enough for her taste.

 

"Sure," Octavia says. "That sounds like a good plan."

  
Raven is glad. She would have missed Octavia over the summer more than her other friends. She doesn't know exactly what it is, but there's definitely something special between them. She feels happier, warmer when she's with Octavia.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm going away on vacation with my family soon. i will most likely still have some access to internet, but it will be much spottier and i won't have nearly as much free time. you can expect little to no updates for a month starting in less than a week. sorry about that :)
> 
> i'm hoping to possibly get one more chapter out before i leave. next chapter is a smaller chapter taking place during the summer between years 3 and 4.


	4. interlude

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as i mentioned before, this chapter takes place during the summer between third and fourth year. enjoy!

Octavia is really glad to be out of her house. Her mom lets her out now that everyone knows about her anyway, but whenever she's inside, that old restricting feeling comes back. Those walls were like a prison. She doesn't like to go back there anymore.

 

Bellamy keeps trying to keep her inside. She thinks he's a bit offended that she's so strongly rejecting her previous life. He doesn't get it.

 

She's going to meet Raven again today. Last time was fun, but toward the end, they ran out of things to do, so for this time, Raven suggested that she bring brooms. Bellamy won't mind that she's taking his. He never uses it over the summer anyway.

 

Their meeting place is a long way away from Octavia's house, so her mom apparates her there. "I'll probably pick you up at sundown," she informs Octavia, then immediately disapparates.

 

She's always too busy to spend any long amount of time with Octavia or Bellamy. Octavia isn't really sure what she does, since she doesn't have a real job, but Octavia doesn't ask.

 

Raven shows up a few minutes later. "Hey!" she says. They hug in greeting.

 

It's hot out, the sun a constant beating pressure above them. Octavia doesn't mind. She wants to make up for every feeling she missed when she was little now that she can. "I brought the brooms," Octavia says, gesturing toward them. She's excited to be flying with someone again. Her brother will do it sometimes, but he prefers to spend time with his own friends, and he doesn't like to fly when it's this hot out.

 

Their meeting place is far from the train station Raven walked from. They walked away from the road and into a field. They're far from view where any muggle could catch them.

 

They both get onto their brooms. Raven looks almost as excited as Octavia to be flying again. "I miss all this magic stuff over break," she explains.

 

Octavia misses it too. She brought a ball she found at home for them to toss around. It's not a quaffle, but it's close enough.

 

They toss it around for a while. It's hot and sweaty enough that it's uncomfortable, but Octavia loves it anyway. She'd rather be doing this than staying inside any day. Raven looks more tired. "You want to take a water break?" Octavia asks.

 

"Nah, not yet. Let's keep going a few more minutes."

 

Octavia isn't going to say no to that. They throw the ball around for a while longer. At one poorly aimed toss, Raven has to lean over, and she loses her grip on the broom.  She falls to the ground with a muted thud.

 

Octavia's heart is in her throat. She flies down as quickly as she can, half falling off her broom a foot above the ground. They weren't that high up, so there's a chance that Raven is fine.

 

As soon as she gets close, she can see that that isn't the case. Raven looks like she's in awful pain, and she isn't getting up. At least she's still conscious. "Are you okay?" Octavia asks.

 

Raven doesn't look okay, but she says, "Yeah. I think so. I'll be fine. People fall off their brooms in quidditch all the time, right?" Octavia nods. That's true, but when they do, there are people right nearby that can take them to see a healer. Right now, there's no one but Octavia for miles. In a smaller voice, Raven says, "I can't feel my leg."

 

Octavia is terrified. She doesn't know what to do, but she has to take control here. Raven needs her. "Okay, the train is a few miles away. Once we get into the city, we can probably find St. Mungo's or at least a muggle doctor to help you out until then."

 

Raven is shaking her head. "O, I don't think I can walk."

 

That's a problem. Octavia can't carry her that far. They could fly, but that would attract muggle attention, and they could get in big trouble for that. Maybe she could get her to the road, and then they could find a muggle willing to help them get into London.

 

She's about to relay that idea to Raven when Raven asks, "Do you have your wand with you?"

 

Octavia does, but only because her mother says she should shoot up flares if she gets in any real danger. She's not supposed to do magic outside of school, but maybe this counts as serious danger. "Yeah."

 

That seems to calm Raven down a bit. "Okay. Then it's easy. You can just fix me. We don't have to involve anyone else."

 

Raven's always been independent to a fault, but this is a new level of risky. "I don't think I can."

 

"Well, I don't think I can walk," Raven snaps. She takes a deep breath and looks like she might cry. "And it hurts. Bad."

 

Octavia wants to help her, but she's scared. "Do you think you can get to the road? I'll help."

 

"No. Octavia,  _ please. _ " She takes a shaky breath to steady herself. "Come on, I don't think it could hurt me worse."

 

That's Octavia's breaking point. She knows she shouldn't. There are risks, and she's scared, but she's also brave. She has to help Raven. This is her fault anyway. She's the one who wanted to fly today.

 

She pulls out her wand. She's seen this spell done plenty. Jackson has done it on her a few times because of quidditch injuries, and her mom used it on her when she was little and would hurt herself around the house.

 

"Okay," Octavia says. "You're sure?"

 

"Never been more sure of anything in my life," Raven says.

 

"Okay," Octavia says, more to herself this time. Then she holds out her wand and does the spell.

 

Her wand shoots out a few sparks, which hit Raven, causing her to convulse slightly. Her breathing becomes erratic. Octavia doesn't think the spell worked quite like that when it was done on her. "Are you okay? What did it do?" If it hurt her, Octavia doesn't know if she can forgive herself.

 

"I don't think it did anything," Raven says. She sounds tired. "Everything feels the same."

 

"I'm sorry," Octavia says. She wants to help, but she doesn't feel like she should try it again.

 

"It's okay," Raven says. "Don't worry about it." She sighs. "I guess I have to move then."

 

"Here, you should try sitting up first," Octavia suggests, holding out an arm as an offer of help. Raven takes it, and Octavia pulls her up.

 

"Alright," Raven says. "That's not much different. I think it's just the leg."

 

Now onto the next problem. "So you can't feel your leg?"

 

"Yeah. It's the left leg."

 

Octavia nods. She tries to be calm. Raven's the one who deserves to be freaking out about this. "Can you move it?"

 

Raven looks at it for a little while, appearing to try. "No," she concludes.

 

"Okay," Octavia says. "I say we try to make it to the road and see if we can get a ride into the city." It's a more manageable goal than waking all the way to the subway station Raven came from. "I'll hide the brooms first so we can come back for them later." She gets up and finds the brooms, then hides the together in the brush. It's unlikely anyone will find them all the way out here, especially if they come back for them before the end of the day. She considers putting her wand with them, but she tucks it into her shirt instead. That way, it's there in case she needs it, but it's out of muggles' sight.

 

Raven seems to be fully capable of sitting up on her own. She looks scared, but she's nodding. "Let's do it."

 

Octavia crouches next to Raven on her left side and puts an arm around her shoulder. "On three?" she asks. Raven nods. "One, two, three!" On three, she pulls Raven up with her. Raven stumbles heavily, losing her balance and leaning so heavily on Octavia that they almost both fall.

 

They manage to stay standing, which Octavia takes as a victory. She's acting as a crutch for Raven, who can't seem to lean on her left leg at all. "Good," Octavia says. "Now let's try walking a few steps."

 

Octavia takes small steps, and Raven just sort of throws herself forward in a little hop and trusts that Octavia won't let her fall. It works, but Octavia can see Raven's pained wince every time she moves. "Do you need a break?" Octavia asks.

 

Raven shakes her head. "If I sit down right now, I don't think I'll be able to get back up."

 

That's a scary thought. Octavia is even more careful as she continues stepping forward. It's still a good distance to the road, especially if they continue at this pace. "Don't worry. We're gonna make it."

 

Raven nods. "What will we do once we reach the road?"

 

That's a good question. Talking might be a good idea to help distract from this. "We'll find someone willing to take us into London. Then I guess we'll find St. Mungo's." Octavia has never been there. She doesn't know how that part is going to work. That doesn't matter. She'll figure something out.

 

Raven doesn't ask about that part, thankfully. "You want to hitchhike?"

 

Octavia isn't sure what she means by that. "What's hitchhiking?"

 

"Getting a ride from strangers. Don't worry, I've done it before. I'll show you how it's done." She steps wrong and flinches so badly she nearly makes them both fall over. Octavia just barely manages to hold her up. "Ow, fuck," Raven mutters.

 

Octavia feels concern shoot through her. This is awful. "Do you need to stop?"

 

Raven shakes her head stubbornly. "I'm fine. We need to keep going."

 

Octavia wants to argue, because she's clearly not fine, but she keeps going instead. They force their way forward slowly.

 

They almost make it all the way to the road without really falling, but when they're just about 5 feet away, Raven makes another wrong step, and Octavia topples under her weight. They just lie there for a moment, the overly hot sun making everything uncomfortable and sticky.

 

Octavia sits up first, then helps Raven do the same. "You can do this," Octavia assures her.

 

Raven looks doubtful. "Maybe you should try to get us a car yourself."

 

Maybe it's better to let her rest for now. It's not that much farther. Octavia can get her across when the time comes. "Okay. How do I do it?"

 

"You hold out your thumb like this," Raven says, showing her. "You have to get close enough for them to see you but not so close that they could hit you. Stay on the shoulder."

 

"What's the shoulder?"

 

"It's the side of the road right up until that line, see?" Raven explains patiently, pointing for her.

 

"Alright," Octavia says, invigorated by her new task. She can do this for them. She stands with her thumb out for a long time waiting for a car to go by. The first one doesn't stop, which she thinks is pretty rude. The second one does. A woman is alone in the car. She rolls down her window. "Where are your parents?"

 

"Back home. Can you give us a ride into London? My friend is hurt."

 

“Of course,” the woman says.

 

Octavia smiles and runs back to Raven. “We have a ride. Come on.” She helps her up slowly. 

 

Raven still struggles but not as much as before now that she's had the chance to rest a bit. They make fairly fast progress to the car.

 

Once they're there, the driver asks, "What happened? Why can't you walk?"

 

Raven and Octavia make eye contact. Octavia lets Raven talk. "I fell."

 

"What, off a 3 story building?" The woman sighs. "Never mind. Get in. The hospital's on my way anyway." She unlocks the door. Octavia pulls on the handle and manages to get it open. She shoves Raven in first, then follows her.

 

A muggle hospital probably won't be able to help Raven much. Plus, if they wait too long, this might cause damage that even magic can't fix. "We don't need to go to the hospital," Octavia says. She isn't sure what a good excuse would be because it's pretty clear that Raven does need to go to some kind of hospital.

 

"Oh, yes, you do," the woman says. "Now buckle up."

 

Raven takes a piece of metal and pushes it into something, where it makes a clicking noise. Octavia tries to copy her actions, but she struggles, so Raven helps her get it in. The woman starts driving again. Octavia knows that this probably isn't good, but maybe the muggle hospital will be able to help Raven a little while they wait for someone magical to figure out what happened. Octavia used magic underage, so there's a pretty good chance someone has already traced it and is looking for them.

 

Being in a car is a strange experience. It goes fast like the train, but it's much smaller. Octavia wonders if her brother has ever been in a car. Maybe she can finally be the first to experience something.

 

Muggle London looks different than she expected. It's more crowded. There are people everywhere, and they dress differently from wizards. Octavia watches it go past wide eyed. She keeps an eye on Raven, too. She looks tired and pained but no worse than earlier. Once they can get her to St. Mungo's she'll be fine, Octavia reminds herself.

 

If they can get her to St. Mungo's. Octavia's never actually been there. She doesn't even begin to know where to look.

 

Eventually, their driver pulls into a hospital parking lot. "Can you get in there on your own?"

 

Octavia isn't sure. She parked close, but it's still a solid but of distance, and the ground here is harder. Before she can answer, Raven says, "Yeah, we're fine. Thanks for the ride."

 

"Yeah, sure, no problem," the woman says.

 

Octavia gets out of the car with minimal trouble, then goes around to the other side to help Raven. Raven half falls out of the car and into her arms. Octavia does her best to steady her.

 

The walk across the parking lot is long and hard, but they make it. "Do you think you can get us to Mungo's from here?" Raven asks on the way.

 

Octavia hesitates, then tells the truth. "I don't know exactly where it is. It would probably be too much of a walk anyway."

 

"So what's the plan, then? We just go in here and hope for the best?"

 

"I did underage magic, and the Ministry tries to trace that so they can punish it. Then when they find me, they'll find you."

 

"And how long do you think that plan will take?"

 

"I don't know. I haven't done this before. Probably not that long."

 

Luckily, the doors are automatic. They walk right in, at which point someone finds nurses to help Octavia. After getting Raven into a wheelchair, they tell Octavia that she has to stay in the waiting room.

 

Octavia hates waiting. She feels restless. She doesn't know how long she sits there before her mother and Bellamy walk in. They sit on each side of her. It makes her feel trapped. "Care to explain this?" her mother asks, holding out a letter.

 

Octavia skims it, but she doesn't need to read the whole thing. It gives a strong warning about her use of underage magic. "Raven's hurt. She needs to get to St. Mungo's," she says instead of explaining.

 

"Well, why did you bring her here, then?" Octavia's mother asks.

 

"I don't know how to get to Mungo's, and the woman who gave us a ride brought us here," Octavia explains. "Can you get her there?"

 

"Of course. But now we need to get her out of here first." She sounds annoyed. Octavia doesn't really care.

 

"Let's do it then. The sooner the better."

 

Octavia's mom nods. "Hey, didn't you take your brooms with you this morning? Where did those get to?"

 

"I left them where we were hanging out this morning. You remember the place, right?"

 

She nods, then gets up and walks in. Bellamy looks at Octavia, then says, "You took my broom without asking?"

 

Octavia doesn't really care about his whining. "Yep."

 

He seems to notice she's not in the mood. "So what did you use the magic for?"

 

"I tried to help her."

 

He frowns. "That can be dangerous, you know."

 

"Doesn't matter. It didn't work."

 

"That sucks," he says, at a loss of words for once.

 

They sit in silence for another minute or two before their mom comes out pushing Raven in a wheelchair. Octavia jumps up to meet Raven. "What did the doctor say?" she asks her friend.

 

"What does it matter? We're going to a real healer soon," her mom says.

They go out into the alley beside the hospital before Octavia's mom apparates them into St. Mungo's. She gets the attention of an employee at the desk. "There. Now I think we should go home. Octavia, we need to have a chat."

 

Octavia doesn't like the sound of that, but that's not the reason she wants to stay. She hates the idea of Raven being all alone here. "I'm staying with Raven. We can have that chat when I come home." She thinks she knows what it's going to be about. Her mom doesn't like when the family's image is tainted. She doesn't like the fact that Octavia has done something illegal.

 

Her mom looks like she considers arguing, but then she shrugs. "Fine. I'll pick you up at sundown. Come on, Bellamy." She puts a hand on his arm, then disapparates.

 

Octavia smiles at Raven. "Told you it would work out. Now come on, let's get you fixed."

 

Raven and Octavia are led into a room. It has multiple beds with curtains separating them. "Wait here," the nurse says. "A healer will be here soon."

 

There are a few chairs, but Octavia doesn't feel like sitting. She's too restless. If Raven weren't in the room, she would probably pace. As it is, she just stands there.

 

Raven looks exhausted. Octavia wishes they had never done this. Raven doesn't deserve any of this pain. No matter what Raven says, Octavia knows that it's her fault, at least a little bit.

 

The healer comes in after a while. Octavia is grateful. She can see the relief on Raven's face, too. He walks up to them. "So what appears to be the problem?" he asks. His voice is deep and kind.

 

"I fell off a broom," Raven says. "It's my back, I think. I can't feel my left leg."

 

He smiles. "Well, that should be easy enough to fix." He pulls out his wand and performs the healing spell quickly. Octavia watches Raven the whole time. Nothing seems to change. The healer looks equally puzzled. "Did that work?"

 

Raven shakes her head. "No. Why wouldn't it work?" She sounds desperate and panicked. Octavia puts a comforting hand on her shoulder.

 

The healer looks unsure. Octavia doesn't think that that's a good sign. "If it happened today, I don't see why - Oh, maybe if some form of magic was used on it? Did someone attempt to heal it before me?"

 

Octavia snatches her hand away. This is her fault. Raven answers, "Someone attempted a healing spell. You can still do it, right?"

 

"I doubt it. Magic can easily heal mundane injuries, but injuries brought on by magic? Generally not." Octavia feels sick.

 

"But this injury wasn't made by magic," Raven presses angrily.

 

Octavia wraps her arms around herself and takes a step back. She wants to run, but she's going to stay. It isn't fair to try to escape before Raven gets a chance to yell at her, especially when Raven can't follow. "I know," the healer says, "but unfortunately, I think the magical tinkering altered the wound just enough to make it untreatable by magic. We can treat the pain, but I don't think you'll be able to walk again."

 

Raven is shaking her head. She looks angry and upset and lost. "Whatever. I'll take something for the pain, I guess." She has that look she gets on her face when she's about to cry.

 

He nods. He waves his wand and says an incantation, and Raven visibly relaxes. She doesn't look as upset. "Better. Thanks," she says, the words coming out almost slurred.

 

The healer turns to Octavia. "Can I trust you to get her home safe?" he asks.

 

Octavia nods. It's the least she owes Raven.

 

The healer leaves the room. Octavia looks at Raven. She still looks tired and sad, and that pain isn't gone, not entirely, it's just pushed behind other things, like the dazed smile Raven is giving Octavia right now.

 

Octavia wishes Raven had had a chance to get angry at her before getting loopy on the pain correction medicine. She deserves the anger.

 

Octavia pushes Raven out to the lobby in the wheelchair. Her mom will be here soon. Raven leans her head back and looks at Octavia. "Don't send me back to my mom," she says, pouting just a little. "I don't like her."

 

"I know," Octavia says softly, "but I don't think you'd like my family much better." They wouldn't like her, is what she means. Her mom has always been more fond of the nasty pureblood boys Bellamy brings home.

 

Octavia's mom apparates into the lobby. She frowns at Raven. "Why is she still in that muggle chair?" she asks.

 

Octavia doesn't feel like talking about this. "She just is. Can you apparate her back to her home?"

 

"Sure, I guess." She looks down at Raven. "What is your home like? Describe it to me."

 

Raven smiles again, that big, loose, fake smile. "Um. It's white, except it's actually kind of yellow. It's packed in between the other apartment buildings. It's on the second floor."

 

Octavia's mom nods patiently. "Well, I hope for your sake it has an elevator. How about you just tell me the address?"

 

Raven rattles it off easily enough. "Alright, then, very good," her mom says. She puts a hand on each of them, and then they're in front of the building Raven described. It looks dirty. The street outside smells like dirt and something else, possibly pee. It doesn't seem like a good place to live.

 

Octavia moves to help her get into the apartment, but her mom stops her by grabbing ahold of her arm. She says, "You can get into your apartment on your own, can't you?"

 

Raven nods slowly. "But I don't want to."

 

Octavia wants to stay here, be with her. She can't leave Raven alone like this, especially when it's her fault. Before she can tell her mom that, they've apparated back into the house.

 

"Thank god that's finally over," her mom says. It's not over for Raven, Octavia wants to say, but she keeps the words inside. "Now sit down, it's time for us to have that chat."

 

Octavia wants to run outside and scream and keep running until her legs burn. She doesn't. She sits, curling up in the armchair. She hugs her knees close to her chest. She spots Bellamy sitting on the other side of the room. He's pretending to read, but it's obvious he's listening to everything they're saying.

 

"Now explain yourself. Why did you use magic today? You know it's illegal."

 

"I was trying to help Raven."

 

"Oh. Well, it obviously didn't work."

 

No shit. "I noticed that."

 

"So you sabotaged the girl's healing. Now she is permanently damaged because of you."

 

Octavia swallows harshly. She feels tears threatening to come. "Yeah."

 

"Who is her family? Do we know them?"

 

Of course that's what she's concerned about. It always comes back to image with her. "They're muggles."

 

"Oh, good. You could have done something seriously bad there."

 

Octavia glares at her. "I did do something seriously bad."

 

She shrugs. "I suppose. It would be best if you apologize to the girl when you see her at school. Can I trust that you've learned your lesson about magic outside of school? No magic except at Hogwarts, I don't want any more incidents like this."

 

"Yeah. Got it."

 

"And if you want to see any more friends over the summer, I want you to see them here. Just so I can be certain you don't come across a situation like this again."

 

"That won't be a problem. I'm not seeing any more friends this summer."

 

Her mom looks confused. She doesn't get it, as always. "Oh. Good, alright. That's all I wanted to say, you can go."

 

Octavia storms off to her room. She even shuts the door behind herself. She curls up into a ball on the bed. A moment later, Bellamy enters. "You never close this door," he says. Like that's what matters.

 

He tries again, "You don't need to punish yourself, O."

 

She rolls her eyes. "Someone does, and you know Mom never does anything around here."

 

"I know she can be a bit lacking sometimes, but she's trying. And you really don't need to be punished for this. It was an honest mistake."

 

Octavia turns to look at him. "The healer said she'll never walk again. And she'll probably always be in pain unless she's under a pain relief spell."

 

"The ones that make you loopy?" She nods. "That's awful, but I'm sure she doesn't blame you for it."

 

"Why wouldn't she blame me for it? I did it." She turns her back to him again.

 

He sighs, taking time to find the right words. "Do you remember that time you broke Mom's favorite vase? She was mad, but she got over it. You can't stay angry at those you love."

 

"Do you remember why she stopped being mad? You bought her a new one. You can't buy Raven a new spine, Bell."

 

"Not the point."

 

"I don't really care what the point is."

 

"You had good intentions."

 

"Good intentions pave the road to hell."

 

He sighs again. "We're gonna talk again later, when you're feeling a bit better, okay, O? And you're gonna forgive yourself for this, I promise."

  
Octavia doesn't believe him. More importantly, she doesn't deserve to. It's her fault that Raven is hurting and unable to walk. She doesn't deserve forgiveness from anyone, much less herself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> unfortunately, this is definitely going to have to be the last chapter i post for basically all of june because i'm about to become much busier and have much less internet access. sorry about that!


	5. year four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i know i said i would post this 5 months ago, im so sorry for the wait! i do actually plan to finish this, and i have the next 2 chapters after this written, so the wait won't be nearly as long, promise :) i rly am very sorry i didn't get this done sooner, thank you to everyone who actually reads this!!
> 
> i would like to give a special thanks to my beta who has been such a big help with this whole story, you can find her on tumblr @ rosegallons
> 
> pls notice that i added a minor character death tag, if u think u might have problems with that feel free to contact me and ill tell u the details of the scene(s)
> 
> in case you don't remember the other chapters very well, here is a recall: lexa is a muggleborn slytherin who is best friends with anya, an older gryffindor, and dating costia, a muggleborn hufflepuff of the same age. lexa is a strong supporter of muggleborn rights, in the past she has done a lot of protesting the issues that matter to her and managed to get professor pike fired. clarke is a pureblood slytherin who is currently best friends with raven and octavia but also has a long-standing friendship with wells, the minister's son. her mother is head of medical in the ministry, a position which puts her on the advisory council for the minister. octavia is a halfblood born into a family of blood purists, as a result she was hidden away by her single mother for most of her childhood with only her brother to keep her company, to their surprise she is not a squib and she is still trying to prove herself to them and her extended family. she is a gryffindor who is best friends with raven and clarke and dating lincoln, a muggleborn hufflepuff 2 years older than her. quidditch is v important to her, she is a chaser. raven is a muggleborn ravenclaw who is best friends with octavia and clarke. in the summer between 3rd and 4th year, she suffered a serious injury while playing quidditch that octavia tried to heal unsuccessfully, causing the damage to be unfixable. she is still dealing with that, mostly by using crutches

Lexa is happy. She's finally almost back at Hogwarts. The place that's more of a home to her than anywhere else is only a train ride away. But that's not what she's been truly missing over the summer. It's the girl beside her.

 

Their hands hold one another between them, swinging lightly. "I hate spending so much time without you," Costia murmurs into Lexa's ear.

 

That feeling is echoed in Lexa right down to her core. She misses Costia whenever they're apart, even if some people might think that's unhealthy or weird. Nothing feels more natural than falling back into her arms after a time apart. "Same here. It's good to be back."

 

Moments with Costia always feel warm and soft, pleasant in a way nothing else does. Lexa will be glad to see Anya and Lincoln and her other friends, sure, but not like this. Seeing Costia makes Lexa's whole world slow and take a deep breath. Losing her, even for a short time, always feels like the worst of tragedies.

 

The world outside keeps flashing by. Green and more green, and then a lake. It's very scenic, but Lexa finds it hard to focus on that when there's something so much prettier in here.

 

She feels like she should be at least a little bit embarrassed that she’s become the sappiest romantic, but she can't bring herself to care. It's not the worst thing to be. “I love you,” she says, soft and sudden, not sure that she's going to say it until it comes out.

 

Costia grins widely and gives Lexa's hand a squeeze. “I love you too.”

 

It feels like a weight is off Lexa's chest. She smiles back and leans in to kiss Costia.

 

.:.

 

Being back at school isn't good the way it used to be. Octavia pushes her food around on her plate. It's the back to school feast, but she can't bring herself to eat much. She keeps looking at Raven.

 

They're a table away as usual, but Octavia doesn't think she'd talk to her even if they weren't. She doubts Raven wants to talk to her. Octavia wouldn’t want to see herself if she were in Raven’s place. Besides, every time she sees her Octavia is overcome with guilt.

 

She can't forget what happened over the summer. She doesn't want to forget, but remembering hurts. It doesn't hurt as much as what she did to Raven, though.

 

Raven would appear happy enough to most people, but Octavia knows her better than that. She can see the pain, most of it literal. Raven isn't on pain relief medication. Octavia isn't surprised. She doubted Raven would put up with the mind numbing medication for long. She's always valued her mind more than anything else.

 

She doesn't have the wheelchair either. Octavia supposes it would be difficult to get by with that here. Hogwarts is made up almost entirely of staircases. It wasn't made to be at all wheelchair accessible. In its place, she has simple muggle crutches.

 

Octavia feels out of place here among happily chattering people. She doesn't know how to be like that again. She looks back at Raven. She doesn't know if they can be friends again, if Raven can forgive her. She knows she doesn't deserve it, but she wants it more than anything.

 

Raven looks up, and they make eye contact. Octavia looks away quickly.

 

The feast goes slowly. When it finally ends, Octavia tries to beat all the crowds back to the dorms but doesn't quite make it fast enough. The crowds are slow going and full of the confused first years. Before Octavia can make her way to the stairs, she hears someone yelling her name.

 

She turns around and sees Raven. She's a ways behind but moving fairly quickly, all things considered. Octavia moves to the side of the hallway and waits for her to catch up.

 

“Hey,” Raven says once she reaches Octavia, voice slightly breathless. “It's good to see you.”

 

Octavia doubts that's true. Why would Raven want to see her? She nods along anyway. “Yeah, you too.” People are staring at Raven. Octavia edges closer to her protectively.

 

“So why were you avoiding me on the train?” Raven asks. That's the Raven Octavia knows. Right to the point.

 

“I wasn't.” Raven raises an eyebrow. “I didn't think you wanted to see me,” Octavia admits.

 

“That's for me to decide.” The hurt in Raven’s voice cuts Octavia deeply, though it’s not much worse than what she expected.

 

“Sorry,” Octavia says.

 

Raven shrugs and shifts her balance. “It's fine. Carry my stuff up to Ravenclaw Tower for me and we'll call it even.” Octavia nods gratefully. She doesn't see any suitcases near Raven. She isn't sure how Raven could carry it anyway. “Clarke has it right now. I think she's catching up with Wells,” Raven explains.

 

Octavia nods. “Okay, wait here.” She gets the bags from Clarke quickly and then hurries back to the stairs to meet Raven. “Alright, let's go.”

 

It's very slow going. Each step is a long and painstaking process, and there are many of them. This is going to be a very hard year for Raven. Octavia can feel herself drowning in the guilt, so she asks something to help get her mind off it. “Have you talked to Kane about this?” 

 

“No,” Raven says. “I haven't had the chance yet.” Octavia doesn't know how much he'll be able to do anyways. Hogwarts is an extremely old building. It's never had elevators, and it's never going to. Hogwarts students' disabling injuries don't usually stick around for more than an afternoon. Octavia hates to think of Raven having to do this multiple times every day. It's clearly difficult and painful for her.

 

“So you're not getting the pain relief spells?” Octavia asks. She feels guilty immediately after the question comes out. It's none of her business.

 

“Nah, I hate that stuff,” Raven says. “I can't have my brain foggy all the time. My mind is too great for that.” The last part sounds like it’s supposed to come with an edge of her usual self-congratulatory humor, but the effect is ruined by her barely catching herself from falling.

 

Octavia wants to help somehow. She hates seeing Raven struggle like this. It makes her feel so helpless. This is her fault. She is the reason that Raven is in this much pain.

 

It's an awful thing to think about, but Octavia owes it to Raven. Without thinking, she blurts out, “Why don't you hate me?”

 

Raven pauses for half a second, then keeps going. Her eyes meet Octavia's. “I could never hate you.”

 

Octavia doesn't understand. “Why not?” She deserves it.

 

Raven looks concerned. “This isn't your fault, O. You're my best friend.” Her voice catches on the last word. Octavia pretends not to notice.

 

“I love you, Ray,” Octavia says. Raven is her best friend, her first real friend. She's always going to love her.

 

Raven smiles, but it looks almost like a grimace. Octavia doesn't know what to make of it. She must just be in more pain. “Love you too, O.”

 

Something in Octavia's stomach settles. As long as Raven doesn't hate her, she can make it through the year.

 

.:.

 

Lexa walks into the dining hall with Costia's hand in hers. That isn't an uncommon thing these days, but it still excites her every time. She's young and in love. Experience tells her that this happiness is unlikely to last, but it's hard to imagine it ending. Maybe that's naïve, but she can’t imagine Costia leaving.

 

They have to sit apart for meals still, a rule that Lexa hates almost to the point of protesting. They reluctantly break apart and agree to meet after dinner.

 

Lexa keeps an eye on Costia from across the room. She has nothing better to do, since she has no real friends in her own house. Besides, Costia is by far the loveliest sight in the room. That's how she notices the second something goes wrong.

 

Costia starts coughing loudly and violently. She stands up, still coughing, her face changing color slightly.

 

Lexa gets up and rushes over. Maybe it's nothing, but she has a bad feeling. Costia topples over as Lexa reaches her.

 

It's bad. Lexa doesn't know what to do. One of the professors shoves her out of the way and tries a spell, but it doesn't seem to do anything. Lexa tries to remember what you're supposed to do when someone's choking. Squeeze their torso somehow? She tries it a few times, desperately hoping for anything to change.

 

Costia is still gasping for breath desperately, her face almost blue. She still coughs occasionally, but she can't do anything else. Her face is frozen in an expression of panic.

 

Lexa can’t breathe either. Other people are doing things, saying things, but Lexa stays kneeling beside Costia. Why can't they do anything? Why wouldn't magic have a solution for something like this? It doesn't make sense.

 

Costia's breaths are getting slower. Lexa yells, “Do something! Why won't any of you do anything?” She feels the tears running down her face and doesn't bother wiping them away. Keeping her hands on Costia's is more important. If she keeps ahold of her, maybe she can stop this from happening.

 

Costia's little gasps are almost nonexistent now. Lexa breaks into full blown sobs. She can feel eyes on her from all over the hall, but she doesn't care. She can't care about anything but this.

 

She closes Costia's eyes. She feels something inside herself ache horribly as she makes herself let go.

 

.:.

 

Raven hasn't been having the greatest year. Her whole body is sore almost all of the time from overexertion. Hogwarts is very blatantly not made for students with disabilities. She's approached the headmaster about it, but he hasn't been able to do anything.

 

It’s exhausting and frustrating.  Raven is trying to be positive about it, but it's really hard. She doesn't blame Octavia at all, but she knows Octavia still blames herself, so she can't really vent to her best friend about it either.

 

It also doesn't help that she's been having more unfriendly thoughts about Octavia. It's not good. Octavia is straight, and she has a boyfriend. The last thing Raven needs is to fall for her straight best friend, but apparently the universe has it out for her.

 

Today is the day of the first quidditch game. Raven is going to go. She hasn't missed a single game in Octavia's whole quidditch career. She has no reason to today, especially if she wants to keep Octavia convinced that this whole thing doesn’t have to hurt their friendship. It doesn’t matter that she kind of wants to. She keeps thinking about that day, the fall.

 

She’s not about to start lying to herself. She’s afraid of this. But Raven has to be better than that. She won’t let herself be petrified by fear. She's doing this.

 

Clarke has agreed to go with her, so at least Raven has a friend there. She doesn't want to go alone.

 

As she gets closer to the stadium, a tightness appears in her chest. Raven ignores it. This isn’t just about Octavia. She genuinely likes quidditch. She isn't going to lose this. She isn't going to let her injury take anything else from her.

 

Gryffindor is playing Slytherin today. Raven watches as the team captains shake hands. Clarke is watching her. Raven glares at her, then regrets it. Clarke isn't trying to do any harm.

 

The game starts. People are flying around everywhere. Octavia is close to the quaffle, as always. It makes Raven nervous, but it shouldn't. This is normal. She's seen this a hundred times. It's nothing to be afraid of. She wasn't even afraid that day, before she fell. Why should she be afraid now? There's no danger.

 

Her body doesn't seem to quite be following her instructions. Her heart is beating out her chest, and her breaths are coming harder and faster. She feels like something is slowly pressing down on her chest, squeezing all the air out of her.

 

She doesn't think she's quite registering things correctly, because Clarke looks concerned. Raven can see Clarke's hand touching her arm, clearly meant to be a comforting touch, but it doesn't feel comforting. She has to get out of here, away from this feeling. She's already attracting a few more eyes than she wants to.

 

It's becoming harder to think. She feels dizzy and colder than she should in early fall. She wishes desperately that she could still run. The crutches are harder to manage than usual, slipping through her hands. Raven stays upright and manages to start leaving. It's hard, especially with the crowds. She doesn't know if she can make it all the way out.

 

The stairs are worse. She makes it halfway down before she can't take it anymore, half collapsing onto the next stair to breathe. She still can't, and she thinks it's getting worse. She feels like she's going to pass out.

 

Raven feels Clarke's hands on her back, rubbing circles. Raven shivers. "You're fine, Raven," Clarke says. "It's going to be okay." Clarke's words are unusually useless. Her next ones have more of their usual importance. "You need to breathe, okay? Breathe in with me now." She pauses. Raven can't fill her lungs for that long. "Now out," Clarke directs.

 

They go on like that for a while. Raven doesn't know how long. She eventually starts to feel safer, better, more like herself. She shakily stands up with Clarke’s help.

 

"We should probably just head back to your dorm and call it a day," Clarke advises.

 

Normally, Raven would put up a fight. She loves quidditch, and more importantly, she loves Octavia. She feels guilty for leaving, but she knows she's too tired to last the rest of the game. She needs to get out of here.

 

She and Clarke end up on Ravenclaw tower, where Raven takes what she feels is a well deserved nap. She wakes up to Octavia walking in. "Hey," Octavia says. "You feeling better?"

 

Raven is. She doesn't know what came over her, but it's left her feeling unsteady and unsure of herself. But physically, she's fine now. "Yeah. Shouldn't you be celebrating?" She doesn’t actually know whether Gryffindor won, but it seems like a safe enough bet with quidditch stars like Octavia and Anya on the team.

 

"I snuck out of the party. I wanted to see you."

 

Raven is touched. She tries to play it off. "Well, I definitely am a sight. How long was I out?"

 

"Just a few hours."

 

"Sorry I missed your game."

 

Octavia frowns at her. "That doesn't matter. I just care that you're safe. I'm fine with you not going to the games, if that's what you need to do. I care about you more than some game, Raven."

 

“I know. I'm sorry anyway. I wanted to see it.”

 

“I know.” Quidditch had been their thing, before. Raven doesn't think it can be anymore. At least Octavia doesn't seem to mind.

 

Raven doesn't want to talk about this anymore. It feels like the air is getting heavier. All of the attention is on her. She doesn't need or want to be pitied. She meets Octavia’s eyes and finds nothing but tender kindness there. It’s so good, but it’s too much. Raven needs to break the tension. “So, what do you say, you and me, Saturday, study date at noon in the library?”

 

“Sorry, I actually can't. I told Lincoln I would meet him for lunch.”

 

Raven feels something complex and untouchable shifting in her gut. She doesn't like that feeling. She should feel happy for Octavia that she's found someone. Mostly she just feels lonely. “Oh.” She recovers quickly. “So is it serious with you two?”

 

Octavia smiles slightly, but she doesn't look as happy as Raven would hope she would be. Raven wonders if she's going to end up having to kick Lincoln's ass soon. “Yeah. I think so.” She sits down next to Raven and gets a wistful look. “I really like him, Rae.”

 

Raven aches. It isn't a feeling she can articulate, or even one she wants to. Octavia is her best friend. She should feel happy for her. But all she can think about is Finn, and how exactly it felt when Clarke had kissed him. For some reason, this feeling is a lot like that one. It aches in the same ways, and Raven hates it, hates feeling like someone is stealing her best friend. If she doesn't want pity, she shouldn't act this needy.

 

She pastes on a fake smile. "I'm happy for you, O."

 

Octavia puts a hand comfortingly on her shoulder. "Don't worry, Rae. I'm sure you'll find someone soon."

 

Raven doesn't know how to articulate that that's not it at all, so she stays silent and tries to smile at Octavia to tell her it's okay.

 

.:.

 

Lexa sits up ramrod straight in her seat. She doesn't know how to do this. It is certainly nothing like anything she has ever done before.

 

She had never had a chance to meet Costia's family while Costia was there to introduce them. It feels wrong to meet them now that she isn't. But she must be here, to honor Costia's memory, to respect her in death.

 

It feels like just yesterday that she had loved so strongly, uncaring what it could do to her. She should have seen this coming, or something like it. Growing up in the orphanage, she has always known children who lost those close to them. She too has lost whatever family she might have had. It feels like an inevitable thing, that she should lose this too.

 

It feels like she hasn't been able to breathe since that dinner, that one last time. It's cliche, but that’s the feeling that has been ricocheting through Lexa's mind since it happened. It's hard to even think of. Those first few days, she had cried so much it hurt. She had thought at first that there was a finite amount that she could hurt and cry, but it didn’t seem to have any end.

 

It hasn’t even ended now. Lexa knows now what she has to do, what she has seen those around her do. She has to let it go, push down the feelings, recognize that they are what is making her weak and hurting. Costia wouldn't have wanted Lexa to lose herself like this.

 

However, that doesn't mean that Lexa is able to let the suspicious circumstances of Costia's death go unavenged. Costia was killed, and that is not something that Lexa is likely to forget any time soon.

 

The service ends eventually. It is a pity; Lexa had not minded hearing others' stories of Costia. It makes her feel still real, like a person who lived and breathed. Lexa wants to remember her like that forever, a perfect moving picture in her mind of a real girl. Instead, the only pictures of Costia that populate her dreams are of her dead, horribly still in a way that she never was in life. Costia doesn't deserve that.

 

Lexa approaches Costia's family. She has two parents and a brother, all of whom look grim. Lexa walks up to them slowly after most of the others around have already taken their time to talk to them.

 

"You're Costia's friend from school, aren't you?" Costia's father asks. His mind is clearly elsewhere, but Lexa cannot fault him for that.

 

It is strange to be called Costia's friend when everyone around her has known she is more than that for so long now. Lexa wishes Costia could have told her parents on her own terms if she chose to. She does not plan to take that away from her, even now that it is too late. "Yes," she answers. "She was always so bright, so happy, so kind. We won't find another like her." The words are too cliche, too impersonal, but Lexa doesn't know what else to say. There is nothing that can make this better, and they all know that.

 

"Thank you," Costia's mother says, words shaky from tears. Her eyes roam over Lexa blankly.

 

"I will avenge her," Lexa promises. It is what she came here to say and what she plans to do. Costia was murdered. Nothing has ever been clearer to her. Costia deserves justice if anyone ever has, so Lexa will achieve it for her. It is the least she owes her.

 

Costia's mother looks shocked. "Pardon?"

 

"I'm going to figure out who did this to her," Lexa says, "and I am going to stop them. They will go to one of our prisons. I promise."

 

"The school officials said it was an accident," Costia's father says. He looks tired.

 

"The school officials may have been involved," Lexa says. She is ready for this. She has taken the sadness and loss and put them away, and all she has left is the anger. The correct person will be punished for this, no matter what it takes.

 

Costia's brother rolls his eyes. "Yeah, okay, you do that. Just leave us alone, you magical freak," he snaps quietly.

 

Lexa blinks. She wasn't really expecting that one, but she doesn't plan to start a fight at Costia's funeral. She glances at Costia’s parents for confirmation, then turns around and leaves. She waits on the alley next to the church, and Headmaster Kane comes to pick her up. He looks her over. "Ready to go?"

 

Lexa nods. He Apparates her back to Hogsmeade. Lexa walks back to Hogwarts. She feels weighed down, more tired than the small outing justifies, but she pushes the feelings down and makes herself walk to Gryffindor tower instead of Slytherin dungeon. It has been too long since she's seen Anya. She doesn't want to lose more friends because of this.

 

Anya is stretched out in one of the bigger armchairs. Her homework is in her lap, but her attention is clearly elsewhere. Lexa walks over to her.

 

Anya gives her that look that she hates. Lexa has tried to avoid it as much as possible all her life. Pity. Anya hides it quickly, but it's there all the same. That's when Lexa knows she can't show that kind of weakness in front of her again.

 

"Hey squirt," Anya says. "What's the occasion?"

 

"Maybe I just wanted to see you."

 

Anya raises an eyebrow.

 

"Yeah, okay. I think we should start planning."

 

Anya shuts her textbook, resigning herself to getting no more done. "Planning what?"

 

"We have to retaliate. They killed her. I don't know who, maybe Ice, but you saw what I did, it wasn't an accident."

 

Anya frowns. "What do you want to do, kill a teacher?"

 

"No, of course not." Well, not when they don't even know for sure who did it. "I want to continue the peaceful protests we started last year. We have to crack down hard on them."

 

"We don't even know for sure if this is about the same thing."

 

Lexa supposes that's true, but she's got a feeling in her gut. "What else would it be?" Costia is warm and kind and well loved, and no muggle enemies she might have would be able to get to her here at Hogwarts. The only thing she has working against her is her blood.

 

Anya sighs, then nods. "We could get in a lot of trouble for accusing a teacher of murder, you know. That's pretty serious. We don't even know if it was her. She's not actually the only muggle hater left in this school, believe it or not."

 

Lexa smiles slightly, feeling something like optimism for the first time all day. "Well, we wouldn't accuse her directly, of course. I know we couldn't get away with that. We just have to vague about her, like on Twitter." Lexa had never actually had a Twitter, but she had heard about them many times from the muggles she's stayed with.

 

Anya smiles. "You know, I can't actually imagine you having a Twitter. It just feels wrong somehow."

 

Lexa rolls her eyes fondly.

 

.:.

 

Lexa sits calmly at her normal table in the library. On one side of her is a history of magic essay, fascinating but left half finished in pursuit of a more interesting quest. On the other side are the notes she has on her upcoming plans for the movement.

 

They plan to protest very soon. They must act, and quickly, before the bright ache of Costia's loss has dulled.

 

Anya takes a seat in the chair across from Lexa uninvited. At first, Lexa ignores her, assuming she is just looking for company while she complains about her homework again.

 

When Anya clears her throat pointedly, Lexa looks up. “Yes?”

 

“When is the last time you had a full nights' sleep?” Anya asks, voice harsh and not really all that questioning.

 

Lexa sleeps regularly enough. The only thing keeping her up is the nightmares. Horrifying images of Costia dead and mangled populate her sleeping mind. She would rather be tired. “I am well rested right now, Anya. What is this about?” It is unlike Anya to try the concerned shtick on one of her true friends. Lexa wonders what has changed.

 

“It's okay to feel things, you know. Everyone knows you miss her. No one's gonna look down on you because you have feelings.”

 

Lexa sighs. She knows she can't afford to go to that place again. “Of course I have feelings.” She glares at Anya. “But what is the point of letting them dictate my entire life?”

 

“They're still there, you know. Even when you pretend they aren't.”

 

Lexa feels herself turn to steel. "I'm not pretending anything."

 

Anya frowns. "You can mourn her. You should. Costia would have wanted that. She deserved it."

 

"Don't tell me what Costia deserves," Lexa growls. "It sure as hell isn't this. You really think she would want us all mourning her? Ruining ourselves, ruining her memories?" Lexa feels like she's giving up too much. Is there any way to win this? "No. Never," she concludes softly.

 

Anya is silent but still looks unsatisfied. "Of course she would want you to be happy, Lex. But this isn't happiness. You know that."

 

No, but it's closer than how she was before. It's something that might be able to become happiness. It's not like she would be happy if she was still stuck in her seemingly endless waves of despair. Costia would not have wanted to leave everyone feeling this way. Lexa will give her justice and closure.

 

“It wouldn't be happiness that I would be feeling if we had it your way either,” Lexa says. She is tired of this conversation, and tired in general, but that is a problem for another time. “Now how about we move onto business.”

 

Anya rolls her eyes and still has that awful look of pity and concern, but she lets it drop. “Fine, squirt. Let's hear what you got.”

 

.:.

 

The autumn air is just on the edge of cold with a biting wind making Octavia glad she wore her heavier robes. Hogsmeade is decorated for the Halloween season with scattered leaves, jack o'lanterns, and various enchanted yard decorations for the fancier residents.

 

It's a pleasant atmosphere for a date. Lincoln's hand in hers completes the moment.

 

It still feels light and easy to spend time with him. From what Clarke and Raven have told her about dating, Octavia thinks that that's unusual. Maybe there should be some rising passion, some nerves at getting something wrong, but Lincoln has never made her anything but comfortable. Octavia doesn't know what that means.

 

They walk into Honeydukes. It's a sweet little storefront. Octavia half grew up on their candies, which her brother would always sneak her when she was good. It's one of her better memories from home.

 

Lincoln wraps an arm around her shoulder, and Octavia leans her head against his arm. Lincoln sighs like he's preparing himself for something difficult. "Can I say something kind of intense? It's a good thing, don't worry," he adds quickly at the end.

 

Octavia wonders what has Lincoln in such a twist. She thinks she has a solid guess. "Go ahead."

 

"I love you," he says, then grins bashfully.

 

Octavia grins back and leans into him further. "I love you, too." Something good and giddy and sweet is inside her at those words. Octavia is very glad to hear that they're on the same page in terms of feelings.

 

.:.

 

_ Raven laughs about something she can't quite remember, feeling strangely light. Things have been hard for her recently, but right now it feels good and simple like last year, as uncomplicated as anything can be. Her leg is painless, an abnormality after last summer. Octavia is there. Things are as they should be. _

 

_ An unwanted breeze from the nearby open window pushes them into huddling together. Raven's arm brushes against Octavia's, and for some reason, it causes more goosebumps than the wind. The touch is easy and good, and Raven wants more. It seems like a simple equation in this moment: if you want it, take it. _

 

_ Octavia seems to have the same thought, and they meet in the middle, a chaste brushing of lips that quickly becomes more. Octavia's mouth is hot, and she tastes like the pumpkin juice she always has with breakfast. Raven wants even more, craves it. She wants Octavia so much it's dizzying and wonderful. _

 

_ A flash of pain breaks them apart, and things are becoming more confusing. “Raven,” Octavia starts. _

 

“Raven!” Octavia yells while poking her in the side.

 

Raven rolls over and gives Octavia her best glare. “What was that for?”

 

“You looked like you were having a nightmare,” Octavia says with a shrug. Raven can remember the dream, but she doesn't let herself think about that right now. Octavia is right here. She can't do this at all, much less when she's in the room. “Besides, it's like 1 pm. You've officially slept through both breakfast and lunch.”

 

Raven looks at the ground. “I wasn't having a nightmare, for your information. But whatever. What's up?” Octavia wouldn't wake her unless it was something important.

 

Octavia smiles fondly. “Well, sorry for waking you then, grumpy, but you were definitely squirming.” Raven waves at her to get on with it while she sits up slowly in bed, rubbing her eyes. She wonders where her pants are. “Okay, so you know I had a date with Lincoln today, right?”

Raven recalls the sting when she had realized that Octavia was too busy with her boyfriend to spend time with her best friend. She thinks of that jealousy again in the context of her dream and then quickly resolves to never think about that again. “Think I remember you mentioning it.” She finally spots her sweatpants in a ball by the corner of her bed. She leans down just far enough to nab them.

 

“Well,” Octavia starts, pausing for effect. Raven smiles fondly. She loves Octavia's eager intensity. “Lincoln told me he loves me.”

 

Raven's heart leaps into her throat. Octavia is smiling pleasantly, completely unaware of Raven's thoughts. Raven should be happy for her. She really, really isn't. She feels sick. “What did you say?” she asks, trying hard to keep her voice level and casual.

 

Octavia grins. “Well, I told him I love him too, of course!” She flops back on Raven's bed next to her. “I think I really do, you know. It's like I told you. He's so sweet and kind and - ” She giggles. “You don't want to hear all this.”

 

Raven wants to say something mean and twisted from jealousy, wants to ask Octavia how she even knows what love is. But that would be awful and bitter. It sounds like something Raven's mother would say, and the last thing Raven wants to be is her mother. She has no claim to Octavia. Why would she? This is ridiculous. These feelings will pass. They have to.

 

Raven lands on an easy half truth. “As much as I love to see you happy, feel free only subtly rub in the fact that you're happily in love and I'm forever alone.”

 

Octavia snorts. “Please. You know you're irresistible.” The word freezes Raven's whole thought process. Octavia thinks she's irresistible? “I'm sure they'll be lining up for a chance at you as soon as you start looking.”

 

Maybe Raven should try to date. It could be the only way to get this stupid crush out of her head. She doesn't know if another Finn would make her feel better or worse at this point. Instead, she brushes off the suggestion. “Like I need a man to be whole. I'm far too busy to be thinking about things like that.”

 

Octavia rolls her eyes, which is probably what that obviously forced cliché line deserves. “Okay, first of all, I didn't say a man. No judgment.” She sighs and relaxes back into the bed. It's too small for both of them to stretch out in, so Raven struggles through getting her sweatpants on.

 

“Second of all?” Raven prompts. She can feel Octavia's eyes on the back of her head. She should turn around and meet her eyes. She doesn't.

 

“It's okay to want to be loved,” Octavia says. It's softer and more heartfelt than most of what comes out of Octavia's mouth. It makes Raven's heart ache. She wants Octavia. She finally turns around to meet Octavia's eyes. There's vulnerability there. In some ways, she already has Octavia, right here and all hers. But there is still something hungry in her, dark and yearning like a black hole, that says that this isn't enough, not even close. For a moment, it looks like Octavia is thinking the same thing. Maybe she really does know what she's doing to Raven here, long limbs spread across Raven's bed like she belongs here.

 

Octavia is the one who finally breaks eye contact. She sits up and runs a hand through her hair. “Seriously,” she says, “you deserve to be loved. And you've got me, and the rest of us, obviously, but you deserve more.”

 

It's not like Octavia to stay serious for so long. Raven supposes it falls to her to be the comic relief. “What don't I deserve, honestly. My turn for good karma, definitely. I was thinking of starting with a nap.”

 

Octavia snorts. “Yeah, you literally just woke up. How about we do something fun instead?”

 

Raven rolls her eyes. Now this feels normal, safe. If only she can get through the day without fucking it up.

 

.:.

 

Lexa arrives before anyone else. Today they are holding a sit-in in the Great Hall to protest the lack of investigation following Costia's death.

 

Anya shows up next. She is wearing sunglasses despite the fact that they're inside, which tells Lexa everything she needs to know about how her night went. Anya doesn't mention it as she leans against a wall next to Lexa.

 

“How many people are coming?” Lexa asks. She arranged it and has managed to gain a few more friends over the years, but Anya is still the one with all the contacts.

 

“30. Maybe a few more if they bring friends.”

 

It's not nothing. Hogwarts is a small school to begin with, and not all the students agree with what they're trying to do. Lexa had feared that this first meeting would have even smaller turnout. Her very first one had fewer. It will take people a little while to jump on the bandwagon, but the public nature of Costia's death is an aid to them in this situation.

 

She doesn't like thinking of Costia like that, but they need all the help they can get here. The disrespect and pain that have been tearing Lexa apart will at least make people care a little bit more.

 

Slowly, more people begin to filter in. It's still under Anya's estimate, but Lexa is satisfied that they will be able to make an impact. The plan is to hold a sit-in during breakfast. They will position themselves in front of the doors so it inconveniences many students and to prevent them going to class. Obviously, before they've gotten too far in that goal, one of the professors or the headmaster will stop them or meet their demands. Regardless of how this goes down, it should be a way to raise awareness.

 

Lexa wants to hope that this will be over quickly and come to a positive resolution, but she's done similar things before, so she knows that that isn't true. Even with Kane most likely truly being a decent guy, there is much he has to do to meet their demands. Furthermore, this time, Lexa isn't even sure how much he can do. The Ministry is the one in charge of delegating people to investigate crimes, so what they're protesting is truly their fault. Without proof, they can't afford to accuse any specific professors of murder. That is why Lexa's secondary goal is to find that proof in any way possible.

 

They file into the Great Hall, seating themselves directly in front of the door. A few more people file in after they've already started. Lexa notices Raven and a few of her friends among them. That's good. Raven appears to be moving better on her leg, too.

 

People at the tables are talking, quite a bit of it clearly about their group, but no one steps over to stop them immediately. That is fine. Lexa is content with the idea of waiting as long as it takes.

 

Headmaster Kane does approach them after a while. He makes his way to Lexa first. “I assume you're the one behind this?” Lexa raises an eyebrow. He nods and runs a hand through his hair. “Come with me real fast? I just want to talk.”

 

Lexa frowns. She pins Anya with a look, and Anya nods. Lexa gives Kane a small assenting nod. He leads her over into one of the corners of the Great Hall, not trying to break through their human barrier, which Lexa appreciates.

 

“What's the goal here?” he asks. He sounds worried and tired, older than Lexa remembers. Lexa wonders if he's been under some kind of pressure and files the question away for later.

 

As for the goal, she feels like that should be fairly obvious. “We want justice for the murder of Costia Birch,” she states succinctly.

 

The creases in his forehead deepen. “And what do you expect me to do about that?” There is annoyance there, which Lexa doesn't take kindly to.

 

“We need you to make it clear to the Ministry that this is a murder that needs to be investigated.”

 

“Look, I know you and Miss Birch were close friends -”

 

Lexa clenches her jaw to keep herself from saying anything she might regret. She needs to keep this professional. They might both know that she cares so much it hurts, but it helps no one to be a bleeding heart, now or ever. “This isn't about anything personal, Headmaster Kane. This is about the fact that a student was poisoned right here in this room almost a month ago and nothing has been done about it.”

 

He sighs. “I know. It's not my job to do something about it.” He looks her over. “Those are some pretty serious allegations of murder you're making right there. I wouldn't make those in front of anyone else.”

 

“I have made no accusations to any of the people here. But it undoubtedly happened, and it needs to be investigated fully.”

 

“The Ministry already investigated, you know,” he says. “They ruled it an accidental death.”

 

Lexa frowns. “They heard all the evidence and testimonies and made this conclusion completely counter to the facts?”

 

“I'm afraid so.”

 

Lexa sees it clearly now. The Ministry is corrupt and controlled by an almost fully pureblood administration. They are a big target, one that she won't be able to fix in a day or a month or 5 years. She doubts she can do much of anything, but someone clearly must if they're quietly getting away with things like this.

 

There is still the immediate problem of who did this to Costia. Lexa will not lose sight of that goal. However, she is not naïve enough to believe she can convince the Ministry to investigate fully anymore. It is likely she will have to do her own investigating and take the law into her own hands here.

 

“Well, who can I contact about that?” Lexa asks. She can't let Kane suspect her plans to investigate on her own. No matter how sympathetic he is, he could never stand for that.

 

“The Head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement would be the place to start.”

 

Lexa doubts it will help. She wonders if Kane thinks she's stupid. She plans to do it anyway, of course, just so she can say she's covered all the official bases.

 

“I will ask you to disband these students. I understand wanting to raise awareness, but even if you had the whole school sitting out, there's nothing we can do.”

 

Of course not. It goes too high up for that. Lexa understands. She will have to do something more now, or at least something different, though she does like the idea of continuing to involve more students. She should suggest to the other students that they write letters, since him getting a great many is the only way that idea works at all.

 

“Alright, sir,” Lexa says. No reason to be rude or noncompliant now.

 

She walks back over. She seems to have captured the attention of most of the group with her extended conversation with the headmaster.

 

“Headmaster Kane tells me that Costia's murder has already been investigated, and they have decided it was an accidental death.” A rush of whispers fills the group. They sound angry, which is a good sign. “Our next movement must be toward the Ministry. There is nothing more the headmaster can do for us here. We must direct our fury to the Head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement instead, via letter. It is very important that we don't give up now.” She looks around, trying to gauge the success of this tactic. “Can I count on you?”

 

It's good that these letters are unlikely to accomplish anything, because Lexa doubts that even a fourth of them will actually put in the extra effort. “Good,” she says, pretending she likes what she sees in their faces. Maybe it will make them feel guilty. “Thank you for coming out here today. I doubt this will be the last time we do so. Good work today, and be ready.”

 

People filter away until Anya is the only one remaining at Lexa's side. “So what's the plan?” she asks. “Do I really have to write a formal political letter?”

 

“Well, it would probably look bad if we told them to do it and then didn't do it ourselves. Obviously that's not the real plan, though. This is bureaucracy. Polite letters are never going to work, even if we get all 30 of them to do it.”

 

Anya gives her a scrutinizing look, then comes to her conclusion. “We're going to have to get justice for ourselves.”

 

Lexa nods. “We have to find proof.” It will be dangerous. Nia Ice is the most likely suspect. If she catches them going through her belongings, there will be very serious consequences. Detention would be the least of it when faced with Ice's wrath. There's a reason it seems so likely that she would murder a student in cold blood.

 

Anya nods. “I'm in.”

 

No matter what Lexa might tell herself, in this moment, it feels good to not be alone.

 

.:.

 

Clarke yawns. She's barely awake after almost pulling an all nighter to finish her essay for history of magic. It's been an exhausting month.

 

She clearly hasn't been the only one affected by this hell year. Octavia has been distant and defensive recently. Raven has been pained and grumpy all year, for good reason, but it's still a sad thing to see her like this. Clarke hadn't thought that anything could get her this down, but she never could have imagined this. None of them have been able to get together as much either because of the increased workloads, so it's been a lonely time. Clarke still has Raven, but it feels like their whole group is slipping.

 

Raven needs more help getting around these days. It had never quite occurred to Clarke how irksome the many staircases could be for someone who has trouble walking. It seems like it never occurred to the schools' architects either, since the whole castle design is one of endless towers and long climbs. Raven has slept more than once in Slytherin dungeon just to avoid the absurd upward climb of Ravenclaw tower.

 

Today Raven needs to make the awful climb, so Clarke holds her books for her and keeps her company while she takes on the steps. “So I've been talking to my mom,” Clarke starts. “I don't know how much she can help you, but she seems to think she can, at least some.”

 

Raven grimaces as she pulls her bad leg up another step. “What could she possibly do for me?”

 

It's a valid question. “Make your life easier. She might not be able to heal you, but she can still help you. She's done some research in muggle medical technologies, and those show some interesting techniques.”

 

Raven pauses thoughtfully. “Muggle techniques?”

 

Clarke hums. “I know, right? But apparently muggles have some good ideas on this type of thing.”

 

Raven nods. “I've seen some of those. Braces, slings, that type of thing. You're right, that would be good, that would be -” She cuts herself off in her excitement. “I wouldn't even need your mom for that! Clarke, you're a genius.”

 

Clarke isn't quite following, but she's happy enough to receive the compliment. “Thanks, I think? Wait, Raven, what -”

 

Raven is taking the stairs with a bit more vigor. “Come on, C, I'm probably gonna need your help with this one.”

 

.:.

 

Octavia taps her fingers on her desk idly. Classes are always dull. Most of the material she either remembers from reading her brother's books or they were too dull for her even then, in which case she's definitely not going to bother to listen now.

 

In truth, she's distracted. A lot of things are happening right now, and they make her head feel all jumbled together. Everything with Raven is complicated. She loves Raven and has been happier than ever now that she truly has their friendship back. But it feels like Raven has been holding something back recently. There's been a forced quality to their relationship that never used to be there, and Octavia wants it to go away. She can't think of what could be causing it, though.

 

Bellamy is also still a problem. Octavia knows that he’s only trying to look out for her, but it's hard to remember sometimes when he's being so overbearing and difficult. He's been a bit better so far this year, Octavia will give him that, but he still treats her like a baby and then gets offended when she doesn't always want to spend time with him. And he's been worse than ever since she started dating Lincoln. He thinks she's too young to date, and he's been trying to take it out on Lincoln ever since they got together. To Lincoln's credit, he hasn't let it scare him away, but Octavia doesn't know how long that can last.

 

And then there's Lincoln. In her life, he seems like the one simple thing. He's kind and honest and sweet. Octavia knows she feels something for him, something strong and good and serious and nothing like anything she's ever felt before. Octavia might love him, even if that's still a strange thing to conceptualize, and it feels too early.

 

A large cat suddenly drops down onto Octavia's desk. Octavia jumps about a foot in surprise, and then her classmates' laughter surrounds her. Octavia's face burns red hot.

 

“Ah, yes, I thought that might wake you up a bit, Miss Blake. I wouldn't need to do this if you would pay attention in the first place.”

 

Octavia's hands ball into fists, and she can feel herself shaking with rage and embarrassment. Before she can do anything, the teacher continues, “Now how about you demonstrate the Stickfast Hex like I asked.”

 

Octavia takes a deep breath. It's not worth the fight, she reminds herself. She doesn't want to get kicked off the quidditch team. Besides, it's not all that difficult a spell. She should be able to do it even if she wasn't listening.

 

The professor has already asked Fox to be the receiver of her hex. Octavia raises her wand. It's a fairly simple spell, really. If she does it correctly, it should stick Fox's feet to the floor.

 

Something in Octavia is panicking in a way that she can't clamp down on. She's looking at Fox, but all she can see is Raven. All she can see is this summer, doing what she wasn't supposed to be, ruining Raven's life.

 

“Well, what are you waiting for?” the professor asks. Octavia ignores him and tries to calm down. She can do this. It's only a simple hex.

 

The class is whispering and giggling amongst themselves. Fox rolls her eyes. “Come on, Octavia, come at me!”

 

But Octavia can't do this. It's too much. She lowers her wand, then shakes her head. “Sorry, guess I wasn't listening enough after all.”

 

The class enjoys that one. Gryffindors always enjoy a good show. Octavia thinks she might be in the clear.

 

But the professor is persistent. “The incantation is  _ Colloshoo _ . Here, this is how you wave your wand,” he says, doing a quick demonstration. “Now do it.”

 

Octavia gulps. “No,” she says resolutely.

 

The professor looks baffled. “What do you mean, no?”

 

Octavia shrugs. She feels lost. She's a Gryffindor. She's supposed to be better than any fear, especially one as irrational as this. She should at least try, but her heart starts racing even at the thought.

 

“Well, if you're going to be like that, you can waste the headmaster's time instead of mine.”

 

Octavia storms over to her desk and gets her bag before leaving the classroom. She needs time to think. She can't do that inside all these thick walls. When she gets outside, she takes an immediate breath of relief. Even after years outside the stifling walls of her home, being outside is still such a powerful change. It makes her feel stronger and more free. Her favorite spot by the lake is unoccupied, so she lies down in it, trying to make herself small so she doesn't get spotted.

 

She'll never be a good witch if she can't do spells on people. And Octavia has to be a good witch. It's all she's ever wanted. Her grandparents think she will never be worth anything because of her blood, and she has to prove them wrong.

 

This is embarrassing. She's a Gryffindor. She should be worth more than this, brave enough to stand up to any challenge. Instead, here she is cowering on the ground like a baby. Octavia swore to herself when she came here that she had nothing else to hide from, but here she is, hiding again.

 

She feels stupid and scared and even more stupid for just being scared in the first place. This is nothing. She's done spells like this a hundred times. Why would it be giving her so much trouble this time?

 

She knows why, but it doesn't make her feel any less ridiculous. She doesn't want to be left alone with her thoughts anymore. It's too quiet here, but she knows if she yells she'll get in even more trouble, and she doesn't want that.

 

What she really wants is Raven, but Raven is in class right now, and she wouldn't want Octavia to disturb her. Lunch is soon anyways, and then she'll be able to go back to having a normal day. She doubts her classmates will let her forget about this anytime soon, but she can handle their teasing. She takes a deep breath and tries to push all her fears to the back of her mind. They can wait there until she's ready for them.

 

.:.

 

Clarke walks into the Ravenclaw girls' dormitory and takes in the pure upheaval and mess that is inherent to the space. Normally it's scattered with clothes and the odd magical project, many of them often Raven's. This time is similar and yet very different. Bits of metal small and large are scattered at seemingly random intervals across the room. It paints a strange picture. Raven sits in the middle of it all, frowning and marking something down on a sheet of parchment.

 

“What the hell, Raven,” Clarke demands. A small metal hunk on the end of the room wriggles toward her like she's a magnet. Clarke deftly avoids it on her way to seeing Raven.

 

Raven jumps slightly at the intrusion, then smiles up at her. “Good! You're here. Wanna help?”

 

“Help with what?” Clarke asks. The more she takes in the chaos of the space the less sense it makes.

 

“I've been thinking about what you said,” Raven says, tapping a larger piece of metal with her wand. It bends down the middle like it has hinges. Raven scrawls something down. “About like a brace, you know? Something to help me walk? I'm trying to figure out the best designs. Oh, and the best type of metal.”

 

“Oh. Well, sure, I guess I'll help. Do you think your roommates will be mad about the mess?”

 

Raven shrugs. “Nah, they're always doing their own projects, too. Honestly, after the fish debacle last month, they kind of deserve this.”

 

Clarke determinedly does not ask what on earth Raven means by the “fish debacle.” “Alright, what do you want me to do for help?”

 

“Just catch me if I fall, alright?” Raven's smile belies the fact that she's nervous. “I'm pretty sure this one is flexible enough, but I can't be sure if it's strong enough until I try it.”

 

Clarke nods and watches as Raven uses a few quick spells to shape the metal to fit over her knee. It still seems fairly primitive to her, but it's better already than anything the magical community has come up with for her.

 

Clarke holds out a hand, and Raven grips it as she pulls herself to a standing position. The metal seems uncooperative as she wrestles it over her bad knee, wincing subtly. She starts walking slowly. Clarke tries to stay as close to her side as possible without hindering her.

 

On her third step, Raven's knee buckles. Clarke barely manages to catch her before she hits the floor. The brace has half fallen off in a way that looks uncomfortable. Clarke gently lowers Raven to the ground.

 

Raven smiles at her, but it looks more like gritting her teeth. “Thanks.”

 

“No problem.” Raven writes something down again.

 

When Clarke looks more closely at her setup, it's very strange. She hasn't seen anything like it before. Raven seems to be using some kind of fancy quill but without an inkwell. What she's writing on isn't parchment. It seems to be thinner and in some kind of metal binding. It has small red horizontal lines going across it, which Raven is writing on. It seems strangely sophisticated, and Clarke can't make heads or tails of it. "What is that?" she asks.

 

Raven laughs. "Oh my god, you've never seen a click pen. Yeah, I snuck some in this year. I really hate quills, Clarke. Honestly. They're the bane of my entire existence. It's ridiculous. You guys think you're all superior, but you carry inkwells everywhere."

 

"How does it work?" Clarke asks.

 

Raven hands it to her. It is small but seems complex. "The ink is inside," Raven explains. "Here, press this button." She points. Clarke presses it, and a small metal tip pops out. "There are springs inside so it comes out. When you want to use it, you make it come out. That way the ink won't dry out."

 

"This is ingenious." And yet very simple. How characteristic of muggles.

 

"I know right? Seriously, you guys are behind the times. I honestly don't know how you missed the invention of paper either." She waves the packet around. "This is called a notebook. Tell your friends."

 

Clarke twists the utensil around again. "Do you have any more of these?"

 

Raven shrugs. "Yeah, I have some extras in my stuff, I think. How's this, I'll give you one if you help me test out the rest of these metals?"

 

Clarke probably would have stayed anyway, but she's not going to say no to that. "Sure."

 

.:.

 

Octavia and Raven meet on a Saturday in the library to study. They haven't talked since almost before Christmas break, so it's long overdue. Octavia hates that they're growing apart. Sometimes it feels like there's something dividing them, some strange distance that was never there before. She doesn't even think it's because she injured Raven like she thought at the beginning of the year. No, this feels like something different. She just wants them to go back to normal, but she doesn't know how to tell Raven that. She doesn't even know if this feeling is real or just something she’s making up.

 

She supposes she just has to keep trying. She can keep offering Raven everything she has, and maybe someday they'll get back to the same ease of friendship they once had.

 

"So how did you do on your midterms?" Raven asks.

 

Octavia shrugs. She had been hoping she wouldn't have to tell anyone but her family, but she isn't going to lie to Raven. "I did pretty good in the written." She usually does fairly well in the written. She's not bad at cramming for it. It's usually the practical that she excels at, though, and this year, she really didn't.

 

"And the practical?" Raven asks.

 

"Not too well," Octavia admits.

 

Raven gives her a concerned little frown. "Usually you always do so good in there! What went wrong?"

 

Octavia doesn't want to tell her she was so afraid it made her shake, and she couldn't even do half the spells because she could never bring herself to practice. It seems that she's finally learned her lesson about not putting spells on people, but it's so obviously too little too late. She knows Raven doesn't like to talk about the accident. So she just shrugs and says, "I don't know, bad day I guess? What about you?" She can't change the subject fast enough.

 

Raven smiles. "Top scores in Ravenclaw, as always. You know I'm a star."

 

She really is. Octavia doesn't know how she manages everything in her life and still can get top scores in all her classes. It's amazing. "That's great."

 

Raven nods. "But I'm more worried about you. You always do better when you're casting the actual spells than when you're writing essays about them. Come on, O, what's up?"

 

Octavia shrugs. She wants to retreat, but she knows in order to keep this friendship going she has to give. She just hates feeling vulnerable like this. "I've been having some trouble with putting spells on people, since -" She cuts herself off. Raven knows why.

 

It takes Raven a second to get it. When she does, she reaches out and puts a hand on Octavia's arm. "It's okay to not be okay."

 

It's strange for Raven to say that. She's seemed okay since it happened, even though she's the one who has a right to be hurt. Octavia is the one that did this to her. She shouldn't also be the one who has to come to her for help. It's ridiculous and mean. "Of course I should be okay. You're okay."

 

Raven sighs. "It's been hard, you know? I'm not disputing that. I don't like to look weak, so I've been trying not to, but." She shrugs. "This is how it is. Sometimes you need time to recover."

 

Octavia shakes her head. "I did this to you. Why should I be the one who needs time to recover?" It comes out as a snap, and she regrets it the moment she says it.

 

Raven makes a small unhappy noise. "This isn't your fault, O. I've told you that. And I have needed time to recover. You know this year has been hell for me." She sighs. "I don't really know what else to say. This school really needs a counselor. Yet another thing I may have to introduce to the magical world."

 

Octavia has never seen a counselor, but she thinks she knows what Raven's talking about. It doesn't feel like what she needs. How would this get better by talking to some stranger? "So what do you do when you need to recover?"

 

Raven shrugs. "I don't know. I throw myself into schoolwork? I've been building a brace, for the physical side of it. You've seen it. It works most of the time now. I've still got a little work to do, but it's helped a lot. I guess, you just try to fix it the best you can, your way. It sort of - You can take your life back into your own hands. Maybe that's it." She looks Octavia in the eyes. "Just build a brace for it the best you can, I guess."

 

Octavia likes that advice. It feels genuine. She doesn't quite know what she can do to help this, but she knows she's going to try. She needs to get her confidence back. She can figure this out, one way or the other.

 

.:.

 

Lexa has been watching Nia Ice for the better part of a month. She knows her schedule almost better than she knows her own. It's been long enough since the last protest that the professor has no reason to suspect anything. If they're ever going to act on this, the time is now.

 

Anya has agreed to help. Lexa can trust no one else with this. It is still a frightening prospect. Nia is bright. Despite all their precautions, their venture is truly unlikely to go uncaught. It is very possible that Ice has enchantments that no one knows about to trap them, or that she noticed Lexa following her around and is expecting them. She is known for being violent and temperamental. If she catches them, they'll be lucky to get away with only detention for the rest of the year. She is a powerful witch and not known for her mercy. She is also known for her hatred of muggleborns. She hates teaching them and only interacts with any of them begrudgingly.

 

Lexa wishes she could tell someone other than Anya where they are going. It must be done this way, but if they disappear forever, no one will have any reason to suspect Nia.

 

Nia teaches potions in the dungeons. She spends most of her time in her classroom. She sleeps in a room just off of it. Most potions teachers in the past have preferred not to sleep in the area because it is very dark and notoriously uncomfortable. Many things are said about Nia because she chooses to sleep there. Lexa just thinks it means that she is a hard woman who is not easily made uncomfortable. It only serves to make her harder to beat. The only times she leaves her classroom and bedroom area are for meals and meetings. Her meal times are somewhat inconsistent and take varied amounts of time, so that isn't the best time to strike. Anya had managed to subtly ask Coach Indra about the meeting schedule, and she knows there is an hour long meeting on Monday immediately after normal class times end.

 

It is the perfect time slot, or at least as close to one as they're likely to get. Anya can't keep asking, or people will get suspicious. This is their window.

 

They sneak in soon after the meeting is supposed to start. One of the only good things about Nia is that she is never late to a meeting. She is professional to a fault.

 

The classroom is the same as always. The tables are pristinely clean, a direct contrast to the grime growing on the walls and the cobwebs in the corner. It is an ugly classroom, one that Lexa has spent far too many hours in already. She does not dwell on it.

 

Nia's bedroom is the first room off her classroom. It is by far the most likely place for them to find their answers. Unlike the classroom, it is also locked. While Anya tries various spells to get the ancient, heavy metal door unlocked, Lexa rifles through Nia's desk to see if she keeps anything of import there. She tries to keep things looking relatively the same as when she came in, but she doubts they will go uncaught.

 

Anya eventually gets the door. It gives a mighty creak as she pushes it open. The room inside is small and dark, with a small fireplace in the side. It is underfurnished, and what little furniture there is looks uncomfortable. It is very clear that the professor does not often entertain visitors.

 

That is good for their purposes. Less belongings means less to search through. Wordlessly, they begin to rifle through the few belongings in search of proof of bad deeds. Lexa rifles through most of the desk before she comes to a revelation.

 

"She used poison," Lexa said. "It's possible she had leftover ingredients."

 

"Those wouldn't work as proof. Most ingredients can be used in multiple potions. She has too much deniability." Anya pauses. "Plus, even if there were distinctive ingredients, she never taught us nearly enough about potions for us to use them. I doubt we could find them in time."

 

Anya is probably right, but Lexa can't help feeling like they're missing something. What would Nia even keep in these small, neat piles of things that would be useful to their cause? How much use would anything be? This is like Pike. They need a confession. Nia needs to incriminate herself.

 

Nia is smarter than Pike. That much is undeniable. She may have a temper, but it just makes her colder and more calculated. She's full of hatred, but she won't be manipulated with it. They can't use the same tactics. She definitely wouldn't incriminate herself when there are witnesses around. Lexa doubts she would even do anything incriminating in the privacy of her own bedroom. She's too perfectly organized. She wouldn't make a glaring error like that.

 

The more she thinks about it like that, the more this looks like a trap. But how would Nia have known they would come look through her things? Why would she be trying to trap them? Those questions also lead to the question that has been pressing against Lexa's mind since the beginning: Why would she do this to Costia? What end is she working towards here?

 

Lexa supposes she doesn't really know for sure that she did do this to Costia. This is just one possibility that they're investigating. But it feels right. Nia is the easily the most likely suspect. It makes sense. But none of the rest of this does.

 

This is most likely just paranoia and fear getting the better of her, Lexa decides. They are already here. She owes it to Costia to see this through. If the Ministry isn't going to properly investigate her death, someone else must. Lexa is okay with that person being her.

 

A sudden noise interrupts them. It is still distant. Lexa tries to figure out a plan in her head. She can't come up with anything that is likely to work. These rooms worked as a dungeon for a reason. They are near impenetrable, made of thick stone, and there is only one entrance or exit, the one they came through. If they try to run through that one right now, they will undoubtedly meet the person coming in here on their way, and then they will have some questions to answer about why they are here.

 

If they remain in here, on the other hand? It is still in the middle of when the meeting is supposed to go until. It is possible it's not Nia and is just a confused student trying to contact her. Or perhaps it is Nia, simply come to get something off her desk.

 

It is still quite likely to be Nia come to catch them, but Lexa knows their best chance, their only chance, is staying here and waiting. If Nia is going to catch them, there is nothing they can do about it. They will not get out of this by running.

 

The noises are getting closer, indisputably footsteps. Lexa makes her choice. She slams the door to Nia's room shut as fast as she can, mentally willing it to be silent. It isn't, but it is better than before. Lexa can't be sure whether the person out there heard it, but there is a solid chance they didn't.

 

The footsteps enter the room. They are much dimmer now that the thick door is shut. Lexa and Anya barely dare to breathe. Lexa thinks that it is Nia, but that is hard to tell, and it could just be that she fears it.

 

They wait, and wait, and wait, until it feels like whoever is in there should have left by now if they were going to. That fills Lexa with a new fear. What if the meeting got out early? What if Nia is here to stay and will discover them eventually? Her heart is beating relentlessly fast, and she tries to keep herself pinned to the wall to hear better.

 

Lexa is afraid. This could be the end of her. But if it is, she decides that she will be taking Nia with her. She has never tried the killing curse, but she knows the words, and she has the determination. She could take out this woman, in self defense or revenge.

 

Eventually, the footsteps move toward the door. Lexa grips her wand so tight her knuckles go white. She gestures to Anya that this is their time and sees the same fear reflected back in her eyes. She steels herself as she hears the doorknob turn.

 

Nia is there, just as she expected, larger than life, face twisted in its constant anger. She gives them a grimace-smile. "Oh, I was hoping it was you two. Find anything good?"

 

There is something dangerous and mean there, like she's just toying with them. It makes Lexa feel horribly uneasy. She doesn't know what to say. What is the correct answer to this puzzle?

 

Anya says, "Nothing. No worries. Your secrets are safe."

 

Nia watches her, getting closer to her. Lexa could run right now. Nia might catch her, but she doesn't look like she's built to run especially fast. Lexa is good at it. She could bolt out these doors and get to someplace crowded where Nia couldn't do anything to her more serious than detention. It leaves Anya here, alone and unguarded with an angry Nia, but Anya would be safer with Lexa able to tell everyone exactly who did it if something happened to her. Nia would know that, wouldn't she? She couldn't do anything to Anya if Lexa managed to escape.

 

Nia backs up and redirects her glare to Lexa, and the moment passes. It's better this way, Lexa decides. They're in this together.

 

Maybe she should try to do this like with Pike. Anger Nia, provoke her into doing something stupid. If Nia attacks first, it justifies anything Lexa does in response. Even if they can't prove she was provoked, prison would be worth it for revenge.

 

"For now," Lexa says, moving forward. Maybe, if nothing else, she can attract Nia's attention and give Anya an opening for escape. "We know you killed her. You aren't going to get away with this."

 

"With what?" Nia asks, but she looks very much in the know. She doesn't even look like an especially good liar, or maybe she's just not even trying to hide it. "Oh, you think I killed that poor girl earlier this year, don't you? Well, why would I have done that?"

 

Lexa doesn't know, exactly. She hasn't quite made all the connections yet. But it seems more likely the longer she talks to Nia. She wonders if Nia would be the sort of person who wants to make the villain speech, to explain everything. If only there was someone else here, that could be the proof they need.

 

This won't be their proof, unless. Lexa catches the tiny flash of it in Anya's hand and tries not to let any of this show. Anya has a phone. She can make this work. Nia will never see it coming. And there's something poetic in that, isn't there, defeating Nia with the same muggle technology she despises.

 

"Cut the crap, Nia," Lexa continues. She just has to get her angry and superior. She'll brag. She has to. "We know you did it. What are you gonna do about it?"

 

Nia tilts her head. "You know, I don't really know yet. It's not like you have any proof, not even a real suspicion. I might not have to do anything too permanent to you if you leave right now."

 

It's an opening. But they've gotten this far. Lexa is not going to back out now, even if it is the end of her. "No. I want to hear it."

 

"You want to die like your little girlfriend, that's what you really want," Nia says, an ugly hiss, "but do you really want your little friend to die with you?"

 

Lexa puts on a show, raising her wand in a shaking hand. "I want justice."

 

Nia throws her head back and laughs. "My god, you really are stupid. You can't possibly think you're going to be able to hurt me. I'm a well trained pureblood, and you, you're nothing." She smiles. It's the ugliest smile Lexa has ever seen.

 

Lexa wonders if she should be scared. All she can feel is validation and excitement. They're going to be able to do this. "You wouldn't really kill us," she hazards. An admission that she would kill a student would be almost as incriminating as an admission that she did kill one, not a bad touch for the recording.

 

"Why not?" Nia says. "No one will catch me. No one will even miss you. And you were nosing around my stuff. No one can say you didn't deserve it."

 

"Why did Costia deserve it?" Lexa says. She forces her voice to crack, makes herself shake with emotion, fear and loss and other things all mixed together. She barely even has to act.

 

Nia grimaces. "She stole something from me, something very important. I wouldn't want to tarnish your pretty memories of her, but she wasn't exactly a perfect person. She had it coming."

 

That leaves Lexa wondering so much, but those aren't the questions she needs to get on tape. Costia deserves justice, not to have all her secrets unearthed. "You killed a 13 year old because she stole something from you."

 

Nia growls. "You don't even know what she stole. You couldn't possibly understand, you child!"

 

"How could she?" Lexa asks. "You can't solve all your problems by killing people."

 

"Yes I can," Nia growls through clenched teeth. "I killed that brat, and I'm going to kill you, and there's nothing you can do about it."

 

That's exactly what they need. Now Lexa just needs to figure out how to get them out of here. "If you kill me now, they'll all know. It would be pretty stupid of us to come down here without telling anybody where we were going, wouldn't it? Good thing we're not stupid."

 

Nia frowns. "You're bluffing." She analyzes Lexa's face closely and doesn't seem to find anything that tells her she's right. "Who did you tell?"

 

"A few friends. Coach Indra." That's not true at all. Lexa is hoping that the coach realizes what they were doing, but she never actually told her. Hopefully the lie will distract Nia enough to get them out of there, though.

 

Nia frowns. "They have no proof that you ever got here," she eventually decides. "They can't do anything for you."

 

"They know that we went here and then never showed up again. Don't you think that sounds a little suspicious?" Anya asks.

 

Nia looks away from Lexa. They see their opportunity. Anya throws the phone, which Lexa catches smoothly She's too close to Nia to try any spells, and Nia is better and faster than her at that anyway. Her only chance is to run, even though that leaves Anya here alone and unguarded. She has to trust her initial assumption that it will work out.

 

She bolts before Nia can even turn back around, zigzagging wildly as she gets out of the classroom. She hears spells hitting near her, but she doesn't dare look back. She manages to get out of the classroom, but she still doesn't dare to stop running. She has to get truly in the clear in case Nia decides to chase.

 

She can hear the footsteps. It's harder to zigzag on the stairs, but it's also darker here, and they turn soon. Lexa keeps running, even though she's running out of breath and a trip could be deadly.

 

If she doesn't make it, none of this will be worth it. She owes it to Costia to put this woman in Azkaban, and the recording in this phone can do that.

 

She makes it past the stairs, out of Nia's grounds, and keeps running. She has to get this done. She doesn't know what Nia could do to Anya if she doesn't. She knows where she needs to go. Kane is the authority here, the only one who can truly put this to right. She has to deliver this evidence directly to him before it's too late. Nia might not really understand how modern technology works, but she saw Anya throw the phone at Lexa. She knows they have some sort of plan.

 

Anya didn't follow, which can only mean that she couldn't. Lexa has to get this phone to Kane fast before Nia has time to do anything serious to her. So she runs full sprint all the way to his office, no matter how many silly looks she gets. She runs up the stairs and bursts in through the door, only to find a dozen stares on her. Right. She had forgotten about the faculty meeting still going on.

 

"Miss Woods?" Headmaster Kane asks while Lexa is still catching her breath and trying to figure out how to phrase this.

 

"Sorry to intrude, Headmaster, but it's important," she says, moving toward his desk, completely ignoring the rest of the teachers.

 

"Are you sure it can't wait half an hour?" the headmaster asks, still sounding quietly amused.

 

"It's life or death." That gets their attention.

 

The headmaster folds his hands over his desk. "Explain."

 

Lexa takes a deep breath. "I have a confession from Professor Ice to the murder of Costia Birch and to intent to murder myself and Anya Pine." She pauses for effect. "Also, Anya is still with her."

 

Kane's eyebrows are almost at his hairline. "With that in mind, I think we should pay them a visit. There will be more questions afterward." He gets up, gesturing to a few other teachers to come with him, then shoots her a stern look. "Stay here."

 

Lexa has no qualms with that. She doesn't feel particularly confident that she would win a fight against Nia if it came to that, and she has no reason to annoy Kane now. She sits down in one of the chairs across from his desk and waits.It is a much more pleasant wait than earlier in Nia's room. She can feel the weight of the phone in one hand and her wand in the other. She tries to remain calm and keep from worrying what's going on out there or why it's taking so long.

 

Eventually, Kane returns with Anya, Nia, and the professors he took out with him. The professors stay nearby and on guard, there to keep the peace.

 

Kane looks at Lexa, a clear I-hope-you-have-a-plan look. "So I hear you have a confession to make?" he asks Nia.

 

Nia scoffs. "You know that's nonsense, Headmaster. These kids just need someone to blame. I've worked here for 10 years and never done anything to seriously hurt a student."

 

Lexa clears her throat. "Headmaster, when I said that I had a confession, I didn't mean that I expected her to confess in here. I meant that I already had a recording of her confessing."

 

Nia glares at Lexa, looking uncertain. "No, you don’t. I would have seen you doing the spell."

 

"I didn't use a spell." Lexa puts the phone on his desk. "Anya used muggle technology to record our conversation. Care to hear it, Headmaster?"

 

"I think that would be enlightening, yes."

 

Lexa hits play, and they all listen to the recording. The voices are clear. Everything is certain. Nia's face is getting more grim by the minute, while Kane's is getting more impressed. "Well, I think it's clear what we have to do," Kane says after it has finished. "Will you come quietly?"

 

Anger flares on Nia's face. Lexa wonders if she will try to fight. Lexa thinks if it was her she might. But eventually Nia shakes her head. "Of course."

 

Kane looks at the professors. "Get her out of here. Make the necessary calls. I'll be out in a minute."

 

Once they're gone, he turns to Lexa and Anya. "You understand what you did today was incredibly reckless."

 

Lexa and Anya exchange a glance. They're still just glad it worked. "Yes, sir," Lexa answers.

 

He nods. "Nice work today. Don't do it again."

 

Lexa knows a dismissal when she hears one. Anya hesitates. "What about the phone?"

 

Kane's brow crinkles. "The what?" Anya points. "Ah. We will need to keep your recording device for the trial, but I can try to have it returned to you after if possible."

 

Anya nods. "Thanks."

 

They walk out together. Lexa thinks she should be feeling something different, better than earlier. They won, after all. "Did that make you feel better?" she asks.

 

Anya sighs. "No."

 

Doing Costia justice should make her feel better, but she feels the same as earlier, only less desperate and scared. "Me either," she admits.

 

.:.

 

Clarke's parents write her occasionally. It's not as frequent as it used to be. They know she's older and doesn't need her parents' input on everything she does. Besides, her mom is kept very busy as Head of Medical. Clarke hardly ever sees her anymore. Her dad's updates from home are getting spottier, too, which she supposes is fine. The year is almost over anyway. She'll see him soon.

 

Clarke's dad works in the Department of Mysteries. His job can keep him away sometimes, though he tries to make as much time for family as possible. She knows that sometimes when he's on a top secret mission it can be hard for him to write regularly. She isn't offended.

 

So it's a very strange thing when she gets a letter from each of her parents on the same morning, especially since they only have one family owl and her parents usually write letters together if they have things to tell her at about the same time. Her mom sent it on the normal family owl, a trustworthy white bird named Frederic. Her dad's is on an unfamiliar brown owl. That one is enough of a curiosity to her that she opens it first. The note is brief and to the point, written in the handwriting he uses when he's in a rush. Also in the envelope is something weighty and hard shoved in the bottom corner, but Clarke opens the letter first.

 

_ Clarke, I hope this reaches you in good health. You know I can tell you very little of the work I do, so try not to question this when I make it as vague as possible. It is for your safety, I promise. I have stumbled across something very important in my work recently. I cannot be any more specific than that, unfortunately. But it is something that I must bring to the attention of the world, so you will know about it soon enough. Your mother and I are the only ones who can know about it for now. If anything happens to me or to your mother, I just want you to know this much: We love you very much, and none of this is because of you. Some things are bigger than all of us combined, and the magical world must know. Unfortunately, I can not imagine a future in which I don't get arrested for this. I'm sorry, Clarke. You know I want to see you grow up more than anything. I'm just afraid that it might not be possible anymore. Don't let this hold you back, Clarke. Enclosed is my watch. If anything happens to me, I want you to have it. I'm afraid you can't reply to this message, Clarke, or they might think I told you something. We don't have much time left anyway. _

 

_ Much love, Your Dad _

 

His watch is in the envelope, just like he said it would be. Clarke has no idea how to react, except that she feels borderline hysterical. She has no idea what's happening, really, but she knows she can't just watch it happen. This is her dad. She can't just do nothing as he gets sent to Azkaban. But she knows her dad, too. He wouldn't do something like this unless it was really important. She wants to help. If he has to get put away forever for this, she at least wants to help make sure he's successful.

 

She looks at her mom's letter, wondering if it's about the same thing. The family owl, Fred, makes a soft cooing noise as she scratches his head. Clarke gently unties the letter from his foot. She doesn't even know if she even wants to open it. She delays by slipping her father's watch onto her wrist. It's an old piece of jewelry. Clarke's dad told her it belonged to her grandmother. It's a trustworthy old leather piece. She doesn't know if she's ever seen her dad not wearing it. He wouldn't send it unless he really thought his life was ending. The weight of it on her wrist is distracting and makes her more emotional than she thinks it should. Dread is a heavy weight in her stomach as she tears open the envelope. Her mom's note is thinner, neater, and about the same length.

 

_ Dear Clarke, _

 

_ I hope your year has been going well. I'm sorry I've been writing less frequently. Work has been taking up much of my time. The election is next year. You know preparation is difficult. I'm sure you can remember last time. Still, I wish I had more time to devote to you. I promise I'll be around more this summer once you come home. _

 

Clarke takes a moment to wonder about her mom's priorities. Her dad is probably going to Azkaban soon, and her mom is worried about reelection and Clarke's schoolwork? Perhaps her mom is worried her mail is being watched. Clarke keeps reading.

 

_ This is an eventful time for everyone. I'm sure you can relate, with your exams coming up. Your father has been having some troubles in his work, too, but those are nothing that you need to hear about. I'm pretty sure they will be clearing up very soon anyway. _

 

What does that mean? The statement is in a worrying amount of conflict with Clarke's father's account of events, which probably means Clarke's mom is trying to fix things but hasn't told Clarke's dad about it yet. Clarke allows herself to take some degree of comfort in that. Maybe her dad is overly worried. Her mom has sway in the Ministry. Surely there is something she can do to stop this. Maybe nothing will happen to him at all, and Clarke can greet him by giving him his watch back when she gets off the Hogwarts Express. It is a hard hope to keep after seeing his letter, but Clarke knows her mom is a tricky woman, and smart. If she says she's going to figure this one out, she probably is. The letter continues,

 

_ This is important, Clarke. I know I say that about many things, but I mean it more than ever right now. If your father writes you soon, do not answer him. Do not give him whatever he might ask of you. He may be in trouble soon, but please have faith that I know how to clear this one up. He may be feeling very desperate, but please, Clarke, do not listen to him. He could get in some trouble, but I truly believe I can shield him from the worst of it. But you can not get involved. I don't know if I can shield you both. _

 

_ Best of wishes, Your Mother _

 

Clarke looks the letter over again, along with her dad's. She doesn't really know what she should do anymore. She doesn't even know for sure what she can do. Both her parents seem to want most of all to keep her out of this mess. Clarke wouldn't listen, except for what her mom said. She has a plan. She knows she can get Clarke's dad out of whatever mess he's gotten himself into. Clarke trusts her. That's why she isn't going to do anything, even though she wants nothing more than to help.

 

She looks the letters over one more time, looking over her dad's words, clearly desperate and in the moment, and her mom's words, clipped and professional. She doesn't want to let go of them, but she knows she can't risk them getting into the wrong hands. It is very important that they are destroyed. Once she's ready, she drops them into the fireplace, watching until they are burnt down to ash. Then she pulls out her quill and begins composing a reply to her mom's letter, assuring her that she won't do anything rash and telling her to do whatever she can for her dad. Clarke knows her family is strong. They will get through this.

 

.:.

 

“Stay safe, okay? You have to be careful, alright, I won't be here to protect you anymore.”

 

“I know, I know. When have I ever not been careful?” Normally Octavia would be thinking something along the lines of thank god. Her brother's form of “protecting her” is often misguided and completely unhelpful. But as much as she doesn't really appreciate most of what he does, she will miss him. He's been the only constant in her life. He has always been there for her, every time she has needed him.

 

He still will be, of course. In fact, considering that he wants to be a history professor, he may even be back at the school eventually. He's been assuring her for months now that she'll be able to write him any time she wants. He would drop everything for her. Octavia knows that. She doesn't want him to.

 

Bellamy seems unconvinced and sadder than he has any right to be. He just graduated with flying colors. He should be happy. Octavia seems happier about it than he is despite the fact that he's the one who put in all the work.

 

It might do her some good, having the space from him, not that she's going to tell him that. She's still sad that he's not going to be around next year. He'll still probably be at home most summers, she reminds herself. She doesn't have to worry about being alone with her mother in that house yet.

 

“Hey, don't worry,” Octavia says, even though she's worried too. “You're gonna have a ton of fun. You love this nerd stuff. Go out there and do your thing.” She decides to add a little humor too. “Get out of my hair, please.”

 

He smiles a little. “Okay. I'm still gonna be home for most of the summer. I'll see you in a few days.”

 

Octavia rolls her eyes. Like they haven't talked about what happens after he graduates a hundred times. The graduation ceremony is underway, students everywhere boarding the boats that had taken them to Hogwarts for the first time 7 years ago. Almost everyone else is pushing off the shore already. “Bell, come on, you have to go. You don't wanna have to stay at Hogwarts another year because you failed to get in a stupid boat.”

 

He looks over, seeming to only just now notice that people had already started to leave. He runs over, still waving to her on his way despite his hurry. Octavia rolls her eyes fondly but smiles and waves back. No matter how bad he usually is, she's gonna miss him.

 

.:.

 

On the last day before they leave for the summer, Clarke gets a strangely formal looking letter. It has a real seal and stamp and is sent by a giant princely black owl, completely unlike the letters she gets from her parents. Looking at it landing before her on the breakfast table, Clarke is mostly just confused. She doesn't know of anything that would require a letter to be sent like this, but it seems to be unambiguously for her. The owl blinks its wide brown eyes directly at her. Clarke puts down her pumpkin juice and unties the letter from the bird's foot.

 

The letter is definitely addressed to her. It's typed. Instead of a return address, it has the Ministry seal. It is unambiguously very important, and Clarke decides immediately that she doesn't want to read it in front of her peers. She tucks the letter into her pocket and finishes her breakfast before hurrying back up to her dormitory to read the letter. It has definitely piqued her curiosity.

 

Clarke tears the letter open. The inside is formally typed as well. She skips right to the bottom to see who the letter is from. To her surprise, it's from Wells' dad, the Minister of Magic himself. She has seen him many times, of course, as Wells' childhood best friend, but she's never received a letter from him that looked like this before. This is obviously formal Ministry business, but she doesn't understand what she could have done to warrant receiving it. She starts reading curiously, and soon all the pieces start to fall together in a horrifying picture.

 

_ Miss Griffin: _

 

_ I regret to inform you of an arrest made late last night. Jake Griffin of the Department of Mysteries was arrested for intent to commit high treason. He was given a private trial this morning at which he was found guilty unanimously by our justices. The punishment for high treason or intent to commit high treason is death. As his daughter, you are invited to attend and say your last goodbyes next Friday at 9 a.m. _

 

_ Condolences, _

_ Thelonius Jaha, Minister of Magic _

 

Tiny wet drops appear on the paper before Clarke is even done reading it. It takes her a moment to realize she is crying. She rubs her eyes angrily. This is bad, worse than she had ever thought it could be. She had figured at worse her dad would face years of imprisonment in Azkaban. What could he have been doing to warrant such a punishment?

 

More than ever before, she feels curious about what he found. Ministry secrets, maybe? Her dad and Jaha are friends. She can't imagine what would make Jaha want to kill him. And she has no doubt that it was Jaha's idea. He's the one in charge.

 

The next thing she feels is anger, horrible and hot and ugly. Her mom was supposed to fix this. Her mom was supposed to keep him from the worst of his punishment. How could she have let this happen? Clarke looks down at the watch on her wrist. Now it really is hers. She feels sick. Her dad could never deserve this. He's a good man.

 

Then it hits her. She wants to deny it, but the more she thinks about it, the more she knows it to be true. Her mom turned her dad in. Her dad had said she was the only one who knew. Her mom was talking about doing something to finish all of this. It has to be her. This is all her fault.

 

Clarke wants her dad right now. She knows he's the only one who can comfort her and help her get through this. But soon she'll never have him again. She hugs her knees to her chest and cries.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> coming up next chapter: clexa!!!


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